An Accidental Event
by Yamamato
Summary: Minato made a small mistake with the seal, nothing major; except that small mistake gave Naruto a bloodline so devastating, it will rock the Elemental Countries for centuries... let's not forget all the little surprises on the way, too.
1. A Living Prison of Blood and Bone

**Chapter 1:**

**Prologue: A Living Prison of Blood and Bone**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto don't you think that I would be working on the next Manga chapter rather than writing this? **

**Beta's Additional Facts: No Yamamato wouldn't. He would instead goof off and write this to make fun of his own manga.**

**Author: That's so true.**

Anguished screams tore through the air as men, women and children experienced the final moments of their lives. Bodies limply flew over buildings, giving them the appearance of rag-dolls. Flames licked at the night sky as the whole village burned.

Konoha, the strongest ninja village in the world, sat under siege, but not by any average foe. Konoha had actually been at peace with the surrounding shinobi nations for a while, the only trouble coming from Kumo, and that sporadically.

The city, blood soaked streets, smoke scorching throats, laid assaulted by a force of nature, one that appeared without warning. A towering, crimson fox, capable of leveling whole mountains with a flick of its tail, stands just outside of Konoha, watching and listening to what he wrought with something that can only get compared to a smile on its snout. Its mere presence, more than enough to make all but the most hardened warriors sink to their knees and pass out, whipped the village into a hysterical frenzy.

It had already done more than enough to kill all those pests that would dare cage such power. All it took had been a few well-placed flicks, and the whole village grew alight with searing conflagration, making them shriek tormentingly for help before burning to cinders. The most terrifying aspect of the whole night, though, something seared into the minds of all, remained the towering fox just standing there, watching the roaring inferno, the buildings topple, and listening to the heart pumping screams. If anyone had been in their right minds, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that the beast wanted to watch them all burn, slowly.

Occasionally, it flicked its tail and flattened a ninja that managed to hurt it without looking, or a civilian that caught its eye; like that women running away, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. Sometimes it even roared, shaking crimson sky, for the sole reason to see pathetic humans run around frantically. Most of the time, though, it just stood there, looming over the destruction like a corrupt watcher, not even sparing a glance at the ninja swarming around its feet like enraged ants.

Unless someone dealt with the Kyuubi soon, the entire village would burn to the ground, nothing but a bitter memory of days long passed. In a bunker deep within the earth, two people worked on a way to save the village. One sat in a rickety old chair, the other knelt by a small, blue bundle, whispering words of regret.

The First Hokage had the bunker built within the early years of Konoha's birth. It sprawled for dozens of miles under Konoha. A labyrinth of dark hallways, musty rooms and forgotten armories of obsolete weaponry gathering dust, it had been out of use since the Second Great War. It smelled like a damp cave, despite its water-proof concrete walls.

Standing inside that bunker, the safest place in Fire Country, troubled the men. While they sat there the beast far above had free reign to do whatever it pleased, a privilege it seized with gusto. The bunker resided so deep in the earth the occasional beast's roar faded to nothing more than a whisper. Dust shook loose from the rare tail-strike far above, making an almost imperceptible haze. The only inhabited bunker room bathed in darkness, a few candles spaced around the only things keeping the dark at bay.

"Done." said the calming voice of Minato Namikaze as he straightened his back and stood up. He had a mane of spiky, blonde hair and gentle blue eyes holding the fire of a warrior. Moments before he finished making a very complex seal, a seal that would save the village of Konoha and thousands, if not millions, of lives. He may have been in a hurry but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye.

Gazing at an old man sitting at the end of the room, Minato got ready. The man had a weathered face lined with wrinkles, graying hair starting to thin out and a look telling the world he had survived many, many hardships. His eyes struck people the most, though. They held the burning determination of an experienced leader and a hardened gaze that told all who looked at him that in his seventy years of existence; he had made countless difficult decisions. However those eyes also held such compassion and kindness, many ninja in the past, and future, have and will have trusted him with their lives.

"Hiruzen," Minato said clearly, "I'm naming you my replacement." he smiled grimly, looking downward with a tear trailing from his eye. "Good luck with the paperwork that's going to come with this mess."

Hiruzen smiled, the expression never reaching his eyes. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he questioned. "I'm perfectly capable doing it in your stead. You have so much to live for. I'm an old bag of bones, and you're not even thirty. Plus-"

Minato cut him off, voice frantic. "It took me two weeks to master this jutsu all those years ago. There's no way you'll master it in five minutes! Even if you got the basics down in that time, there's still a big chance you'll mess up when using it on the Kyuubi. It's a lot safer this way."

"But-"

"There's no time to argue," interrupted Minato again. "The fox could level the entire village at any moment!"

He turned deftly and walked slowly toward the center of an enormous, intricate seal. A small, blue bundle of blankets lay motionless within it, stirring occasionally. He bent over and picked it up carefully, so that he wouldn't smear the still drying ink or disturb the occupant. Cradling the treasure in his arms gently, he gazed upon the small, tired face peeking out of it, deep, blue eyes brimming with innocence and curiosity.

"Naruto," the Yondaime Hokage began softly, "I can't apologize enough for what is going to happen, but if I don't do something, then our home and everyone in it will die. I know this might make your life more difficult than it should be, but I know that most will see you for what you really are- my son and a normal boy. I'm sorry that neither I nor Kushina will see you grow up into a young man," a single tear landed on the dozing baby's cheek, jolting the drowsing baby out of its tired haze. "but I know you will be the greatest child that will ever step foot into this village. I'm so sorry."

He laid the boy back down in the middle of the seal, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

"Minato, please let me do it." Hiruzen started, his pipe laying in his hand, unlit, "If you die who will take care of Naruto, who will lead the village? You should-"

Minato's head snapped up, his expression and burning eyes stopping Hiruzen mid-sentence. The look etched on Minato's face held such ferocity, it would send the most rabid of animals running for its life; the look of a man who would give up his life freely and gladly so that the one he loved would live on.

Hiruzen knew nothing could stop him now. Sighing, face resigned, he said, "I'll look after him."

Minato nodded gratefully and walked to the door, only pausing to look back once. He opened it, making it groan dejectedly, and stepped through. Steeling himself for events to come, Minato slammed the door shut behind him.

If he had checked the seal he drew so hastily, he would have noticed a small, negligible mistake on one side of the seal; a curving line no more than a finger's width thicker than all surrounding it.

Seals needed very precise hands, for the smallest of errors could have the greatest of consequences. A small pebble thrown into a pond causes large ripples, and what happened in the room during the coming hour would change the course of history for thousands of years to come, for better and for worse.

_30 minutes later:_

Torn out of his musings, Hiruzen turned to a the sharp cries of a baby shrouded in a veil of blinding, white light. Searing light illuminated the entire room; making corners once bathing in darkness stand out, alien and timid. He watched, seals surrounding the bundle converged on the wailing blankets. After an agonizing wait, the ethereal light slowly faded away, the cries of a newly awakened newborn dieing off.

Hiruzen Sarutobi stood up from his rickety, oaken chair and walked apprehensively toward the gurgling bundle. He gently picked it up and started rocking it gently, he knew the tiny newborn still hadn't fell asleep. Not soon after, the child's eyes snapped open, shocking the retired Hokage and making him freeze.

Instead of the unrestrained glee and innocence that can only exist in the eyes of a newborn child, his eyes sat engulfed by a spark of intelligence. As the Third watched, that small spark grew into a roaring inferno. Not once did the child avert his gaze, seeming to size him up.

With his heart thundering in his chest, Hiruzen's mind raced trying to find an explanation.

_'I don't think this happened to Kushina. That can't be good can it?' _Baby eyes pierce into Hiruzen's, the intensity of the glare making his arms lose their strength from shock. Hiruzen fumbled for the child, desperately trying to catch him before he struck the concrete floor. A cry of surprise that quickly turned to one of joy pierced the air as the child fell. Hiruzen caught Naruto when he realized that it came from the bundle in his arms.

Hiruzen stared at the child, who now giggled happily. Naruto stared back at Hiruzen for a moment before going silent. He scrunched up his face cutely and moved his lips, as if trying to say something. Gargles slipped between the boy's lips as they scrunched together, writhing around. For a few moments he held that expression, then smoothed it out and slowly dozed off, seeming to think it far more important.

Hiruzen stared at the slumbering child, thousands of possibilities running though his mind but one thing he knew certainly.

His life just took an interesting turn.

_**OoOoOoOoOo**_

"I know it's late, but we have important things to discuss." said Hiruzen, tiredly.

He sat in a raised throne. On one side of him sat the ninja council, the Aburame clan, the Inuzuka clan, the Yamanaka, the Hyūga, the Akimichi, the Nara, and the Uchiha heads. On the other side of him sat civilian members, people elected by popular vote to their positions. On his immediate right sat one of his advisers, Homura Mitokado, a man with graying hair including a beard, wrinkles lining his old forehead, and thick, green glasses over his eyes. On his left sat his other adviser, Koharu Utatan, an old woman with squinted eyes, graying hair and earrings.

Both of them had been part of Hiruzen's genin squad many years ago. They had survived many tough situations together, like when they fought the fox advancing on Konoha, evident since they still wore their combat armor. Hiruzen had to retreat to aid Minato with setting up the seal, though, and he worried.

They sat, along with the other council members, in the old council chamber under the Hokage tower. The floor, once white and rough, had grown dark and polished with decades of traffic. In the center of the floor sat the village's symbol, a green leaf. The stands in which the Hokage and the council rested had once been pale and splintered, but decades of use, much hand thumping and hundreds of moving speeches later they laid dark and pitted with marks. The walls, once a glossy black when built, faded away to a dull gray.

That place, a place that had seen much, had an almost indistinguishable air about it. If one paid attention, they could feel wisdom, frustration, and calmness coming off the walls in waves; the spirit of that room, a spirit that refused to die.

"Then let's get this over with. It's been a troublesome day," demanded a man named Shikaku Nara. He had spiky, black hair, a small goatee and a hard yet lazy face lined with scars.

Many murmurs of approval bounced around, accompanied by more than a few eye rubs.

Once the grumbles died off, Hiruzen started, "As we all know, not long ago, Minato, the newly appointed Fourth Hokage, sacrificed himself to save the village." several people, who, at first looked tired, looked depressed. Only two people showed no visible reaction, Danzo; a man with black hair, wrinkled features, several scars, a bandage over his right eye and forehead, and an emotionless visage, and the ever stoic Hiashi Hyūga; a man with long, black hair, white eyes without a pupil or iris, and an emotionless face currently tied with Danzo's in faces that would make Konoha's most famous interrogator, Ibiki, jealous. Many people also said he beat the sun in a staring contest.

Twice.

"In doing so,"continued Hiruzen, "he sealed the demon in a newborn boy orphaned in the attack."

A few fearful screeches rang.

"Kill it before it gets stronger!" yelled one hysteric councilor.

"We should dispose of it before it kills us all!" yelled another.

"Shut up you fools." muttered Danzo angrily from his shadowy corner, somehow heard over the din.

"Enough!" roared Hiruzen.

Hiruzen waited for everyone to settle down before continuing. "We are not going to kill him. He's just a normal baby boy. Do you have so little faith in Minato's skill at sealing as to suggest such a thing?"

Nobody responded.

"Danzo," Hiruzen grumbled scornfully, "you seem to have something else in mind. What do you suggest?"

Danzo's eye lit minutely while his face remained impassive. Slowly, trying to keep confusion out of his tone, he said, "I think we should put him in a special program, one that will ensure i- his loyalty to the village and make him strong enough to protect us from any threat, foreign and domestic. After all, it would be shame to let such potential be wasted."

Those who couldn't see where Danzo went with his suggestion applauded his speech. Everyone else kept their faces impassive save a single, angry civilian councilor who stared at him hotly, trying to will Danzo to burst into flames.

"No Danzo," retorted Hiruzen bitterly, "he isn't going into your R.O.O.T. program. It might have been necessary in the last war, but the only things that come out of it now are emotionless killing machines with questionable loyalties. I know for a fact that if Minato was alive to hear such a thing, he would kill you in a heartbeat." The applause died off as Danzo met Hiruzen's heart-thumping glare with an impassive one of his own. It went on like that for a few seconds before he looked away, deciding it best not to waste his time with some foolish test of bravado.

Turning away Hiruzen continued, addressing the whole council, "There is no reason why he shouldn't grow up normally. If we were to kill him it would only spit on Minato's sacrifice, and if we put him in Danzo's program that would be a far worse fate."

Silence met this.

"So, to protect this child, and to give him a chance at life, a law will be passed to stop anyone talking about what truly happened tonight unless it's to a person that already knows. Anyone that breaks this law will be executed so fast, they won't have any time to write their wills."

Uncomfortable shuffling greeted that declaration.

"All in favor?"

Everyone raised their hands, even the handful of people who thought it best to kill the child. Little did they know that the boy slumbering within the cradle across the room, would one day bring them their salvation, and their doom.

**Last Edit: 3-11-11 **

**Changed it back to past tense, tis about it.**

**Please tell me what ya'll think about my new writing style.**


	2. Abilites Revealed

**Chapter 2, Abilities Revealed**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, he would be smart enough to know what the word 'justified' means…**

Graduation day at the academy, a day of great anticipation. Excitement bubbled through the air. All students had excitement etched on their faces. At the same time however, they felt nervous, for today would mark the beginning, or end, of their ninja career.

Some students acted very confident, going so far as to loudly proclaim to the entire class they would undoubtedly pass, such as Kiba Inuzuka. A few stood around, talking to their friends and trying their best to look calm. Others just walked to their seats silently, like Shino Aburame, making little to no conversation.

Naruto Uzumaki fell into this group.

He stood a little taller than his fellow classmates, if only a little. He had rather long golden, blonde hair collecting in a mane atop his head. He wore boring, uninspiring gray clothes, different from his usual outfit. His famous Cheshire Grin went ear to ear, showing the class his slightly pointed teeth. He walked casually and slowly which betrayed what hid beneath. Strange, jagged marks disrupted his cheeks, the most striking feature to a casual observer.

However, to a more trained eye, they latched onto his eyes instead, irises a deep, hypnotic blue. Behind those orbs hid a legion of emotions and thoughts. If one looked closely they could see them flicker about almost minutely, calculating, solving, observing and judging. He had the eyes a man who faced many life-threatening situations, real and imagined.

Some of the teachers in school, Iruka chief among them, thought he should have graduated to genin rank already. He had the brains, the skills and the quick thinking needed to become an excellent shinobi. He passed all the surprise tests the staff cooked up in far less time it took his classmates, almost as if he knew of them beforehand. Naruto stayed in that class for a few reasons, many of which he kept to himself.

He chose to take the same class he would sit in if he had been 'normal'. When Naruto made his decision, however, the skeptic old man wanted to know why.

_Flashback:_

Four years ago they sat in Hiruzen's office. It smelled of its usual musk; tobacco, parchment and ink. Sunlight streamed through the window behind his large, oaken desk, illuminating the room. Brown and simple, the floor sat polished by millions of feet, so smooth and glossy it stopped looking like wood years ago.

The Old Man, fingering through some files, showed Naruto that year's graduating class dossier.

Naruto asked him childishly, "Why are you letting me choose my class, gramps?"

Which Hiruzen responded, "I'm going to let you choose your own class because I think you've earned it. Need I remind you of that day one year ago when you came to me asking to teach you about to seals? At the end of the day you soaked up everything I said. Why, just last week you invented a seal that when you put on a pair of pants, it lets you store six foot spears in its pockets! Because of you I will never have to use storage seals again." He chuckled, eyes twinkling.

Naruto also smirked at that thought, less space taken up meant you can carry more. As an added bonus you wouldn't feel an item's weight when sealed, much like storage scrolls, except you didn't need to expend chakra to retrieve items.

"By the way," Hiruzen added as an afterthought, " I'd appreciate it you don't put seals on my stuff without my permission. Understood?"

Naruto nodded while Hiruzen pondered something. "How did you come up with a seal like that anyway?"

Naruto responded, a little smug, "I wondered if there was a way to make a ninja carry more items without feeling their weight. You do know that I have a lot of time on my hands when on my... 'trips'... with Kakashi. Back on topic though, we're talking about the academy right? I don't want to be put in any classes where kids are four years older than me. Could you put me in this year's beginning class?" asked Naruto.

"Sure," replied Hiruzen, "but why this class? After all those little trips and reports from Kakashi I know you're more than ready for an older class."

Naruto just smiled and said, "First off, they are all my age. I don't want to be in a class where I will be looked down on because I'm young enough to be considered a baby. Second, there is something special about this class, this I know. Third, I want to earn my headband, not given it. Finally, yet most importantly..." as he trailed off the grin slipped from his face, "...it'll give me more time to look."

Hiruzen nodded, understanding the vague phrasing.

_Flashback end:_

Looking around the room Naruto knew one thing, he chose right. Seven clan heirs took his class that year: Yamanaka, Nara, Akimichi, Inuzuka, Aburame, Hyūga, and Uchiha.

Ino Yamanaka, heiress to the Yamanaka clan. She had blonde-hair, blue-eyes and wore a purple, form-fitting dress. She gossiped often, mostly with her live-in friend Sakura Haruno, whose parents died in the Konohan Fire six years ago. Her clan, famous for their jutsu allowing control and access to a person's mind, had a very high number of ninja therapists. Naruto felt a strange kinship with the Yamanaka in general, but Ino had a little too much impatience for his liking.

Shikamaru Nara, heir to the Nara clan. He had black, spiky hair and a look on his face that said _'Troublesome, just leave me alone so I can sleep.' _His clansmen, famous for their high intelligence, incredible laziness and ability to manipulate shadows, seemed to suffer a very amusing plague of marrying overbearing women. Naruto respected Shikamaru. He had a fast mind, faster than Naruto's in some cases; but he relied on over-complicated plans that had much in common with a huge, rickety tower, remove a small part of the support column and it came crashing down.

Choji Akimichi, heir to the Akimichi clan. He had spiky red hair, swirls on his cheeks, constantly munched on something and had a very fa- err, large build. His clan, famous for jutsu that manipulates the size of their body, and by extension strength, often got employed for demolition work or for search and destroy missions. Naruto knew a lot of his clan, but what he knew about the boy puzzled him.

He knew Choji had a small crush on Ino, and he knew that the boy stood by his friend, Shikamaru, with more loyalty than an Inuzuka hound, but he couldn't understand why he acted so kind to the kids that picked on him. Naruto himself ignored any teasing, acting kind in return, but he did it as a way to manipulate his tormenters, to gradually change their behavior into something more pleasant in general. Naruto never saw a manipulative glint in Choji's eyes, could he have acted that way just to act kind? But enough of that galling question, next in line.

The next clan heir, Kiba Inuzuka, of the Inuzuka clan, had shaggy brown hair, red tribal markings, small fangs and a little white dog perched on top of his head. Overall he looked rather feral. His clan, famous for jutsu, dog familiars and powerful sense of smell, often got employed as trackers and combat nins. Naruto loved pranking him, his outgoing, brash, and energetic nature usually produced the most explosive reactions.

Next in line, the Aburame clan heir, Shino Aburame. He had black hair, and wore a gray, long-sleeved trench coat and sunglasses. Sometimes people mistook him for a drug dealer. His clan, famous for their love for bugs, often got shunned for their strange method of combat. When born, a clan child went under an operation, implanting a colony of Kikaichu within his or her body. In exchange for half of the Aburame's chakra, or life energy, the Aburame could use swarms of the insects in battle. Once upon a time they used them in combination with set traps, taijustu, weapons and exploding tags; but they had gradually evolved their combat style to revolve around their companions and little else. Teachers and students never saw Naruto or Shino talk to each other, even when the two, plus Sasuke, sat near each other. At most they just exchanged small glances, otherwise they seemed to ignore each other.

The teachers didn't know that Naruto, Sasuke and Shino had much more maturity than any of their classmates. They didn't know about Naruto's accident, or how the Aburame raised their children. They did know about the Uchiha Clan Massacre though, who other than the children didn't? The three boys had such an understanding, none of them had to talk to get their point across.

Then came the heiress of the Hyūga clan, Hinata Hyūga. A quiet girl, she never caused any trouble. She had dark, black hair and wore a baggy, white coat with matching pants. She had a shy personality, luckily nobody ever picked on her, probably because she had a little 'guardian angel' that made sure any who did suffered swift retribution. Some in her clan, famous for their Byakugan, the 'all seeing eye', which extended the user's vision 360 degrees -other than a small blind spot- and allowed them to see chakra and tenketsu, saw her as weak for those 'issues', something that Hiashi tried to maneuver around. To complement the Byakugan, the Hyūga invented a taijutsu style called Gentle Fist, more commonly called Jyuuken. The style used very precise strikes, using fingers to strike their target. They usually went for tenketsu or vital organs and forced charka into their opponent, closing tenketsu or damaging organs.

Lastly, Sasuke Uchiha, heir to the Uchiha clan. He had dark, black hair, and wore a blue shirt, Uchiha crest on the back, and white shorts. The Uchiha clan, famous for their Sharingan, had been one of the strongest clans in Konoha. The Sharingan allowed the user to copy and memorize martial arts and jutsu at a glance. The Uchiha clan made up most of the Konoha Police Force, policing civilians in the village. They dealt with all the common criminals; rapists, murderers, drug dealers- the lowest of the low.

Sasuke lived in Konoha as the last loyal Uchiha, last because his older brother Itachi, a very gifted prodigy and ANBU captain at the age of 13, decided to 'go mad with power one day'. He killed off nearly the entire clan to test his power, reports said. He left only himself and his younger brother alive, torturing the him with a powerful genjutsu to the brink of insanity. With the Kyuubi's attack, the Konohan Day of Fire, and absence of the Konoha Police Force, crime rates skyrocketed all over Fire Country.

Naruto and Sasuke met a while ago. Not many knew the details, but their meeting resulted in a very... odd... friendship.

Naruto snapped out of his musings when the battered brown classroom door opened, falling on the classroom floor in a sudden thunderclap and making the class go dead silent. In walked Chuunin teacher Iruka, a man with tan skin, black hair and a large scar that went over his nose and under his eyes, and his assistant Mizuki, who had rather plain features only disrupted by a mop of silver hair. Both threw angry looks at anyone they thought might have unscrewed the door hinges. Mizuki in particular gave Naruto a look that almost made the boy leave to take a shower, never mind the fact that Naruto did actually do it.

When the class settled down, Iruka said none too gently, "Alright class, today will determine how you spend the rest of your life, so quiet! We'll begin with the testing soon." obviously still upset about the door.

"Gee Iruka, I don't think toning down today's importance is working." Mizuki muttered, rolling his eyes. After scanning the class for a moment, he smoothly turned and walked over to the regal, brown teacher's desk sitting before the class.

Halfway there, Mizuki felt a hot, piercing lance drive through his head. He stumbled, barely managing to brace himself against the chalkboard wall. The class's attention shifted from Iruka to him, concerned buzzing grew.

Iruka, outlining the test rules, noticed instantly when everyone's attention shifted to his aide. He turned over to Mizuki, eyes curious. Seeing the student-teacher leaning against the wall, hand on his head and a pained expression, Iruka ran over to him. He asked , voice full of concern, "Mizuki! Are you okay? Should I send for the nurse?"

Mizuki waved him off, grumbling, "I'm fine." He reached into the desk and pulled out tests, face ashen. "I just have a headache, no need to be worried. I'm going to sit down for a bit, it'll be gone by the end of the hour." He handed the tests to Iruka, who noticed his shaking hands, and sat on the desk's chair, fingers rubbing his temples.

Iruka watched him, unconvinced, then started handing out the written tests.

Nobody noticed Naruto's smirk.

_Later that day, 10:00 p.m.:_

Naruto jumped through the forest, intent on reaching the rendezvous point, a shed about 2 miles away from the village. He jumped and shifted midair between trees silently, like a walking shadow. His gray shinobi clothes blended in with the surrounding shadows, wrapping him like an impenetrable shroud. Blonde hair, a stark contrast from night's embrace, weaved between trees as nothing more than a wraith in the night. His headband, strapped to his left arm, gleamed dully in the moonlight.

After five minutes of weaving between trees, he saw it; the shed. Naruto briefly wondered why it laid all the way out in the middle of nowhere. After a moment's thought he banished it from his mind, considering it a waste of time.

He landed in the center of the clearing, knees bent to absorb the impact he paused for a moment, listening for pursuers. Hearing nothing, Naruto walked up to the shed and plopped down in front of it, reaching into a weapon pouch strapped at his side. He grabbed something from within, and withdrew his hand. Amazingly, from a bag that couldn't hold five kunai, came out a scroll easily two times as large and three times as heavy as an overfed cat. Naruto put the scroll down in front of him and opened it. Scanning through the scroll for a few minutes, looking for a jutsu he'd like, he saw one.

Shadow clone.

Time passed, forty minutes in total. No breaks, no pauses, just jutsu after jutsu. Eventually he got his proficiency to an acceptable level for now, thanks to a certain deceased ninja's memories. He thumped back down, breathless, exhausted, back leaning against the tree. He read through the rest of the scroll, trying to find another useful jutsu.

Most involved the user dying or being horribly maimed in some way and the few that didn't, other than shadow clone, wouldn't suit Naruto in any way. At least, thanks to Mizuki, he finally got his hands on the Forbidden Scroll, Scroll of Seals or whatever the hell they called it, Naruto didn't care. The Old Man, lenient with him on many, many things, had never let him look at it, let along touch the thing.

Closing the scroll, frustrated, he peeked at his watch; 10:30. With nothing else to do until midnight, Naruto leaned back, closed his eyes in rest, and reviewed what lead up to that.

_Earlier that day:_

Naruto had just finished his genin graduation tests, walking out of the school building, mind speedily tracing line after line of obscure fact. He had an easy time acing them all, the jutsu portion especially. He had spent day and night doing all manner of chakra control exercises when he noticed that particular flaw years ago, lack of control. Thanks to his hard work, he could walk on walls and water, and do replacement without seals. Nothing to boast about yes, but miles ahead of where he started.

He casually walked out of the academy, headband gleaming in the sunlight, when he heard someone call his name. He recognized the voice, so Naruto turned around and waited for Mizuki to get within speaking distance.

Once within range, Naruto asked casually, "What do you need sensei?"

To which Mizuki responded, "I need to talk to you in private Naruto; follow me." That said, he turned and trotted back to the academy. Naruto followed, a knowing smirk on his face.

They entered the academy through a set of reddish-pink double doors inscribed with a curious series of kanji Naruto never bothered to read. Inside the academy halls, wooden floors sat stained, dented and polished from many years of tiny feet thundering around excitedly. Gaggle after gaggle of children, ranging from age seven to twelve, roared around, frantically searching for friends or rushing out the large doorway. The pair made their way down the hallway, sticking to the right wall.

No one spared either a glance as Mizuki lead Naruto to an empty classroom, unlocked the door and walked in. If any child gave it any thought at all they concluded Naruto either got in trouble or had some ninja business to attend to. Naruto followed Mizuki after schooling his features. He entered the room and a moment later he heard a click behind him, telling that Mizuki locked the door.

Clearing his throat, Mizuki attracted Naruto's attention. "Naruto, the Hokage wants me to give you a test of my choice. This test is supposed to grade you on your ability at stealth, infiltration and how fast you learn new info out on the field."

Naruto turned to face him and interrupted, "But Mizuki-sensei, I have the grades to show I'm the top of the class in stealth and infiltration. You also know that I can memorize things easily, why do I need to be tested further?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

Mizuki gave him a wane smile and said, "When we gave the Hokage your exam results, he was so impressed he wanted us to test you further to find the extent of your abilities, and that is my job."

His face and tone turned serious. "My test is a simple search and retrieval mission. Your target is a large scroll labeled 'forbidden'. But don't let the name fool you. It's filled with very useful and powerful S-ranked jutsu. You're to take the scroll to a shed 5 miles north-east of the east gate. Once there, you have two hours to learn a jutsu of your choosing and to show me it when I arrive. Understand?"

Naruto noticed several glaring holes in this test. Why would a ninja village allow any Gennin, no matter how skilled, learn a jutsu that could take up more than enough charka to kill him? Plus, the old man already knew enough of Naruto's skill set to know he'd have little problem with a test like this.

Naruto opened his mouth, acting like the usual naive brat. "But sensei-" Mizuki cut him off, snarling.

"Listen to me Naruto! The Hokage is not only doing this to see the extent of your abilities. If you can pass this he might bump you up all the way to chunin. If that happens you will not only set the record for fastest promotion, but everyone in Konoha will hear about it, they will be impressed. If that happens..." He let it hang in the air, leaving the ending up to Naruto.

Naruto tilted his head to the side, as if giving it deep thought, then nodded. Seeing that, Mizuki smiled and added, "By the way, the guards will be ANBU. If you make too much noise or get caught, the test is finished and you fail. Don't let them find you."

_Present Time:_

Naruto had spent the day 'preparing' for the 'test'. Not once did he try to get a message to the old man, fearing Mizuki had watched him. Well technically Naruto could get a message to the Hokage, but he wanted to keep that ability secret for the moment, saving it for when revealing it would offer the best payout.

That led to his current situation, waiting for Mizuki to arrive. He had nothing to do since he finished reading the scroll. Speaking of which, getting the scroll almost made Naruto cry considering that not once did someone hear/see him. Sad since ANBU guard the tower night and day. He would have to talk to the old man about that.

Naruto heard leaves ruffle. The forest fell silent as he stood up, ready for a fight if Mizuki popped out. A moment passed, nothing sounded, nothing breathed. Another rustle, a familiar form sneaked towards him. Naruto relaxed when Iruka stumbled out of the brush, looking pretty damn angry.

Iruka glared at Naruto coolly, speaking through clenched teeth, "Naruto didn't you know better? Mizuki lied to you to get you to steal the scroll! You're lucky I got here in time, the Hokage said I didn't have to worry but I wanted to make sure." the teacher's face relaxed, "We need to get out of here right now, he could be here at any moment."

Naruto took a step back, giving him a shocked look and said, hand grasping at his chest, "You mean Mizuki is a traitor? I didn't know stealing a scroll guarded by ANBU and being looked at by the Hokage himself was treason, honest! I thought I had to master an S ranked jutsu, something that most chunin take a decade to do, let alone two hours!" Naruto deadpanned, "Give me some credit sensei, I'm a little more perceptive than you think."

Iruka stuttered out, enraged, "You mean to tell me, that you know Mizuki is a traitor?"

Naruto nodded.

Cue Mizuki landing on the tree branch nearby. "Looks like you found him too Iruka. That's good, it'll make getting away when I frame him for killing you and leaving with the scroll much easier."

Before Iruka could respond, Naruto butted in. "Why the hell do evil villains always tell their enemies exactly what they plan to do?" he ranted. "What's the point? Is it because they get off from making them feel like they have no chance of stopping them? Maybe they want to feel all powerful and oh so brilliant that it would make finding evil minions much easier? Or maybe it's just an overused cliché people are so used to it pops up everywhere now?"

Naruto placed his hands behind his back and started strutting back and forth before the two stunned teachers. "But you will never see or hear me do anything cliché. I mean, right now Mizuki, you are expecting me to say some sort of tear-jerking 'slash'," he made a slashing motion with his arm for emphasis. "heart-breaking 'slash' inspirational speech that might either A; make you have a flashback that shows a very traumatic event in your life that turned it around, making you see the error of your ways so you'll come quietly, B; give people that _might_ be hiding in the shadows a great distraction to pick you off, or D; entice legions of women to chase after me, ravish me, and bear my babies despite the fact they weren't around to hear me say it. And yes, I am well aware that I skipped C, it's something I'd rather not discuss. But I digress..." Naruto sighed.

He stopped pacing and bored his gaze into Mizuki, who stood on a tree branch stunned, straight in the eye. Silence, complete and utter silence dominated the clearing. Mizuki and Iruka anxiously waited to hear what Naruto had to say. Some sort of philosophical rambling, or maybe something that would, as Naruto said, make Mizuki see the errors of his ways?

Naruto quirked an eyebrow and stated evenly. "Finally found me? I've been waiting here for you a total of 2 hours, dumbass."

Mizuki, previously catatonic, bristled at that, but he calmed himself down before he could do anything stupid. "Ever heard of an ambush brat?" he asked mockingly. "You must have snuck past me when I was waiting for you, but it doesn't matter, I'll still kill you, Kyuubi!"

Iruka maneuvered himself between Naruto and Mizuki, "Take one step, Mizuki, I dare you." Iruka growled. "Naruto's not the Kyuubi, you're an idiot for not realizing that."

Naruto stood his ground, not impressed with Mizuki's claim. He expressed that by yawning, then saying "Oh great! Yet another blind fool to toss in with the rest... One question, if I am the Kyuubi then what hope would you, a mere chunin, have of killing me?"

Confused, Mizuki paused. What hope did he have of _killing_ the Kyuubi? Before the question can grow into anything more, though, he shrugged it off. Obviously the fox got weakened when the Fourth sealed it and would try anything to stay safe. Conviction reinforced, Mizuki all but screamed madly. "You may say that demon, but you're weakened. And today you die!" He jumped at Naruto, swinging the giant shuriken like a guillotine.

Too late to do anything to stop Mizuki, Iruka glared defiantly as the shuriken came closer, preparing to deflect it.

Naruto, completely unconcerned about the giant 'Windmill of Doom', as he called them, getting closer and closer to his neck, didn't move an inch. In fact, he didn't pay either man much attention, preferring to close his eyes and focus.

Mizuki threw the shuriken, hand outstretched and face a mask of insane glee. The windmill blade sliced through the air. Naruto heard Iruka's even breaths as he awaited the blade's approach, the shuriken making only a faint buzzing that sharply increased intensity as it flew closer.

Naruto tapped into a familiar well located in the deepest recesses of his mind. A feeling of great power rushed through his body as he harnessed it, forcing it to bend to his will. Odd warmth, inviting and peaceful, coursed through his limbs as the blades came closer and closer. Naruto breathed deeply, faintly sensing Iruka's frantic thoughts and Mizuki's deranged reasoning.

_'Only a few feet away...'_ Naruto felt.

The windmill shuriken whipped around Naruto and Iruka. It swerved behind the shed and cleaved through one tree's front like a chainsaw through butter. It swooped back at Mizuki like a phantom in the dark. Now on the ground, he stood frozen, too shocked to move. It hit him in the arm and shoulder, only his armor saved him from loosing a limb. He jerked backward, his weapon pinning him against a tree ten feet behind him, cutting into it and leaving him hanging like a piece of meat.

Mizuki grunted painfully, head hanging limply. "Well demon, it looks like you're stronger than I thought, but I know you won't kill me."

Mizuki raised his head, an unsettling glint in his eyes. "I've taught you for almost four years, and in four years I've noticed how 'compassionate' and 'caring' you are." He taunted, voice laced with venom. "In that time I learned that you wont blow your cover by doing anything malicious. You must be anxious to see blood after so long, monster." he spat.

Naruto rolled his eyes, walking out from behind Iruka to get a better view of his prisoner. "Are you trying to prove that you're insane? It won't work, you only proved that you are a close minded fool who can't see beyond the veil. Plus, unless I'm mistaken, you broke a certain law that, when broken, results in the culprit's death." _'Never mind.'_ Naruto thought,_ 'that I already knew I hold the Kyuubi.'_

"Not only that," he continued, "but you planned to steal a very important document from the village and, unless I'm missing something, treason is also punishable by immediate execution."

Naruto froze, face askew in false shock. He brought up his hands, clapping them to the side of his head. "Oh noes! What am I going to do with you? What if you get free and abscond with the scroll? How will I ever stop you?" Naruto turned serious, making his arms fall limply to his sides. "Simple, you'll die."

That single statement sent icy fingers up Iruka's spine, while it made Mizuki's face split in great satisfaction. "Do you see Iruka? I knew that it could never be a child. What child would so easily come to the conclusion that someone must die?"

Despite Mizuki's... state of mind, Iruka couldn't help but find a grain of truth. "Naruto, why do you need to kill him? We caught him, and he's not going anywhere anytime soon. ANBU are just a call away, we should just let them take care of Mizuki." Iruka sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes.

"You think killing is easy. Understandable, considering you've never had to, but it will never be easy. I might be a teacher because I'm good at it and enjoy it, but the real reason I'm a teacher is because I wanted to get away from combat. The first time I killed a person I had nightmares. I had trouble sleeping, eating, and lost an unhealthy amount of weight. Everything in life was hard... I just don't want you to go through the same."

Naruto paused, trying to think up an appropriate retort. "Iruka, just so you know I _have _killed before."

Iruka gagged.

"Don't give me that look! I have killed before, but I always had a good reason."

_'Lies...'_ Whispered a quiet, empty voice._ 'I kno-'_

Naruto shut it out, his mind falling silent. "I have killed to protect people, and to bring peace. Killing is only trivial to those that don't deserve life themselves."

"I won't kill Mizuki because of 'revenge', or to see blood." he added, seeing Mizuki about to open his mouth. "I'll kill him to make sure he won't have the opportunity to harm another man, or child, again. If he escapes before the ANBU can deal with him, then what might happen to our village? Nothing good I can tell you. What do you say Sensei?" Naruto asked.

Iruka thought long and hard. The gloomy forest remained silent, as if afraid to interrupt. "...Fine Naruto, just let me do it."

Naruto shook his head. "No. You really think that I'll force you to kill him? Mizuki has been your friend for many years right? If you kill him you will feel guilty, despite him being a traitor."

Before Iruka could retort he felt some sort of... pressure in the air. A tree behind Naruto groaned, then shifted eerily. Iruka turned to it, eyes widening.

A giant, invisible hand plucked the tall tree out of the ground, chunks of loam clinging to its severed roots. It revolved slowly as it floated. It went still.

The tree shot at Mizuki, flying so fast that Iruka could hardly see it. Mizuki yelled, more of a last gasp than a scream because it got cut off an instant later.

A stomach-churning noise, a noise that would stay in Iruka's mind for years, echoed, an odd combination of a meaty squelch and a bony crunch. Mizuki, flattened by a half-ton tree, sprayed blood, entrails and fecal matter all over the clearing. Iruka's face turned a sick green as he resisted the urge to hurl his dinner.

The tree hung for a moment, suspended in midair, then like a puppet with its strings cut it fell to the ground. It fell backward in a thunderclap of noise, forcing Naruto to step-side lest he get crushed. The windmill shuriken, now no more than a jumble of scrap, fell off the other tree and landed with a silent thud, followed a moment later by Mizuki's crushed remains. Thunk.

Iruka couldn't hold it in any more. "Bllarghh!" He hunched down on his hands and knees, using the tree-turned weapon to keep himself steady and spraying chunky vomit all over the place. "Blleegh!"

Iruka coughed, spitting something out. He gagged for a few seconds on bile but he forced it down. His breathing evened out after a couple of minutes. A moment later, Iruka straightened out, a vaguely sick expression on his face.

He was a perfect actor.

Iruka coughed more, body wracking with tremors. "Did you really have to do that Naruto?"

Naruto shrugged, face a little green as well. "Perhaps not. Sorry sensei, I got a little carried away."

_'You wanted to see him die like that, and you call me a monster.' _Naruto shut the voice out again.

_'When I saw Mizuki like that, I saw what I could have been. It got to me, but I don't need to explain myself to you.'_

"Well," Iruka gulped, seeing the boy he previously thought innocent in a new light, "I hope that doesn't happen often."

Naruto shook his head. "No sensei, it doesn't. I make sure of that."

"Okay, glad to hear it!" Iruka stated with forced cheer. "I think it's time to take you back to Konoha, let's go." Naruto nodded his head.

Neither of them noticed four shadows slinking toward Konoha.

And none of those shadows noticed the ten ghosts shooting towards the Hokage Tower.

_10 Minutes later:_

Hiruzen Sarutobi slouched in his chair, not happy in the slightest. He knew that Mizuki had planned to betray the village for a while, he knew that Mizuki planned to use Naruto in some way, and he had learned that Mizuki chose to target the Scroll of Seals, the reason why he reduced the security in the tower. Hiruzen had planned to let the two run their course, to see what Naruto would do just to make sure he still continued improving, but Iruka threw a wrench in it when he trailed Mizuki after the academy day went out, worried about him. He saw Mizuki tell Naruto about the test, he almost confronted Mizuki but concluded that making a scene in a building full of students could lead to a bad outcome, so he settled for telling Hiruzen about what he heard.

One thing led to another, and now Iruka knew an important, S-ranked secret. It brought all three of them to their current situation. Iruka stood in front of his desk, incessantly babbling on and on with no end in sight, asking dozens of questions ranging from "What the hell did Naruto do in the forest?" to, "Naruto told me he killed before, is this true?", and "Is Naruto... you know... unwell?" The boy in question meanwhile, stood in the background, an amused expression gracing his face.

The Hokage's office had brown, polished walls and a matching ceiling with red trim. Lights illuminated the room, throwing some places in shadow. A single window offered a look outside, pale, white curtains flanking both sides. A desk groaned under numerous large paper stacks while a large, throne like chair sat behind it. Hiruzen, an annoyed scowl distorting on his face, growled silently.

He raised a hand for silence, Iruka obeying without a second thought. After a moment's pause he flicked his eyes all over the room, checking the security seals lining the door, windows and walls. After making sure they remained in good condition, Sarutobi mumbled to himself, "Might as well put all cards on the table." Then he raised his voice, "What you are about to hear is an S-ranked secret. It is never to be discussed outside of this office, save for the few others that know it. If you ever tell anyone without Naruto's or my permission you will be executed for treason, understood?" Iruka nodded, knowing the situation's gravity.

"Because of what Naruto holds he has the beginnings of a new bloodline." Hiruzen started, before getting interrupted.

"Gramps, can you let me tell the rest?" Naruto requested.

Sarutobi sighed, debating mentally for a few seconds. He nodded.

Naruto sat wordless, thinking of a way to start, "First off, I'd like to say I've known that I hold the Kyuubi before Mizuki ever thought of telling me."

Hiruzen nodded thoughtfully, puffing on his pipe. He removed it from his mouth and gestured at him, "I thought as much, especially after that stunt you pulled when I went to the hospital to check up on you." he commented, knowing Naruto would understand what he meant, "What I want to know is how you found out."

Naruto laughed sheepishly, leaning against the wall, "People are much more open with their thoughts when they think they're alone."

'_Especially if you can read minds.' _he added silently. Only himself and the old perv knew he could do that so far, Naruto felt no need to tell the old man just yet.

"Continuing where I left off, when I found that out I decided to look at the seal. I was six at the time, two years after my bloodline showed up and one week before the… 'incident'." Naruto paused for a moment, entire face indecipherable. A moment later his famous mischievous grin came back. "After you taught me more about sealing years later I took another look at it. I learned that the Fourth screwed up writing it."

Iruka fell silent while Hiruzen nodded again, "I learned that during a seal check-up two weeks after the fox was sealed in you. Tell me what you've learned."

Naruto started slowly, upset that the Old Man apparently knew everything already and wouldn't freak out, "The Fourth messed up the part that filters the demon's energy. As far as I know, the reason I have a bloodline is that the moment the fox was sealed inside of me, its energy rushed to my brain. It overloaded it and caused my mind to grow by leaps and bounds in a few seconds by rewriting my entire genetic structure. At the time I didn't know enough, in addition to my body being underdeveloped, to speak until a few years later. I do remember events that took place in that time span though, like when that fake-nurse 'slash' assassin tried to kill me." He finishes, making Iruka cringe.

Iruka spoke up a few silent moments. "But what does it do? I've seen your bloodline in action but I don't understand it."

Naruto smirked, "It's rather simple, but for that, all the more powerful. I'm not going to give you all the scientific junk because, frankly, you don't need to know all that crap to understand what I'm capable of. All it requires is a simple demonstration." He turned towards Hiruzen, "Old man, if you will?"

Sarutobi sighed and reached for the top, left-hand drawer on his desk. He reached inside and pulled out a jar of ink and a matching, ebony brush. Hiruzen put the items on his desk, then pulled out a sheet of aged, yellow parchment and placed it next to them. He waved an arm theatrically and announced, "Go ahead Naruto."

Iruka turned to Naruto, seeing the boy standing immobile, eyes shut in concentration. He heard a rattle and swiveled back to face the desk. Despite seeing it for a second time, his breath hitched in his throat. The ink jar's stopper floated above the desk, flying about in a lazy circle. The brush, meanwhile, roughly dipped in and out of the ink jar, making a few ink splotches spatter the desk.

Without any prompting, the brush swiftly pulled out and darted over to the sheet of parchment a few inches away. It hovered for a moment, then ferociously stabbed and slashed. A few seconds pass then it stopped, satisfied with the results. The stopper ceased floating about, preferring to fly down and close the ink jar with a loud 'pop'.

"In addition to a high I.Q. and photographic memory," _'More bullshit.' _Naruto added mentally, "I can manipulate kinetic energy. Gravity and the laws of physics bend to my will as if they don't matter. If I want to collapse a building without leaving a trace, you better run for cover. Want me to snipe a man from a couple miles away with a kunai? He might as well have a target painted on his forehead."

Parchment raised off the desk. It first showed its face to Hiruzen, who scowled upon reading it, then it turned towards Iruka.

It read: _The old man really needs to find a different hobby. Do you know-_

The parchment combusted without any warning. Flames ate away the ink and paper, making words illegible. As gray ash collected upon the table, Naruto whined, "Old man! Why did you do that? I thought what I wrote was very funny!"

"If that's the case you need to find a better sense of humor." Sarutobi grumbled.

Naruto pouted for a moment, then that smile came back. "My bloodline is also very good when it comes to pranks."

The brush, forgotten up to that point, flew enraged at Hiruzen's face. Out of reflex he leaned to the side. The brush skirted his face, leaving a thin trail of black ink. It continued on past his shoulder and bounced off the wall behind him, leaving behind a small dent.

"Naruto," Iruka started quizzically, "I don't think that stabbing the Hokage with a ink brush counts as a prank."

"I was going to give him a fake mustache when he leaned out of the way, so I thought 'Why should I waste time stopping it?' Thus it left a dent in the wall." Naruto said, as if he explained everything.

"Which you will pay for." Hiruzen added.

"Which councilor Singh will pay for." Naruto corrected.

"What does he have to do with anything?" Hiruzen asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Everything."

**XxXxXxXxX**

A few hours passed, occupied by talking about the academy, Mizuki, and Naruto's abilities. Eventually, Iruka and Naruto grew tired and beckoned "Good night", to Hiruzen. They left the office, door whispering shut behind them.

Hiruzen paused for a few moments, rubbing his temples to clear his mind. He stood from his chair and walked over to the window, looking upon the sleeping village below. A handful of late nighters wandered the streets, doing whatever they had to do. Sparse lanterns lit the streets, dotting the cityscape.

Clasping his hands behind his back and without turning away, he addressed the shadows, "Report." Not a request, not a statement, a command.

On the other side of the room, near the door, a figure melted out from the shadows. It stood at an average height and had a slight, agile build, black hair spilling off his head. The figure wore a black outfit different from all other ninja outfits, save twenty others.

The outfit was loose enough so it wouldn't rub his skin raw, but tight enough so it wouldn't bunch up, custom fit. It had a single pocket on the left breast of his black shirt, holding a few soldier pills and other assorted items. A small sheath strapped to his back held a short, curved blade, the hilt a simple ebony sheen. Fine, gold trim decorated his black gloves, setting them apart from most of his outfit.

He wore an odd mask, yet again a simple black. Again, fine, gold trim decorated the mask's edges, marking him as a high ranked ninja. He could blend in with the lightest or smallest of shadows his mask's sheen did nothing to hinder his abilities.

Hiruzen knew that the mask, sword and outfit had layers and layers of seals, all personally applied by his own hand. They had a legion of effects, resistance to fire, blunt-force trauma, and kinetic energy manipulation, just to name a few.

The figure saluted before putting his hands behind his back, standing at attention. He spoke, voice cool, authoritative, and disciplined, "As expected sir, and in line with projections, subject Naruto Uzumaki didn't betray the village. He dealt with the traitor, Mizuki, and 'saved' the life of the Watcher, Iruka. This data compounds upon our observations of Naruto's excursions with jonin Kakashi Hatake in his search of The Girl, furthering the conclusion that Naruto will not regress anytime soon, if at all. Over the past years he has grown loyal to both you and the village as a whole. Although he has done a few questionable deeds, like manipulating Civilian Councilor Singh, we predict that Naruto will be skilled and as kind as possible for a boy that went through what he did, a worthy addition to Konoha's ninja force with his telekinetic and mental suggesting powers."

Without turning to look at him, Hiruzen nodded his head. "I thought as much, but we can never be too sure of Naruto's state of mind. You know as well as I do of what he was planning, and it was only through that disaster, 'The Incident' as Naruto calls it, that he really saw what he was going to do."

The figure nodded, then spoke again, "Sir, I demand the disbanding of our task force. We know more than enough that Naruto truly sees what he planned was wrong, leaving us active would just be a drain on the vill-" A look from Hiruzen made him stop mid-sentence, the feeling behind it forcing the Special Op. ANBU back a few steps.

Hiruzen, never breaking his eye-contact with the frozen ANBU, turned casually, totally at odds with the room's atmosphere. The ANBU's heart thundered within his ribcage, fearing what his leader would do, and knowing the Hokage didn't like his suggestion one bit.

Taking slow, deliberate, steps, Hiruzen, hands clasped behind his back, made his way around his desk, stopping only when he stood within inches of his subordinate's face.

"You won't demand anything from me." he whispered menacingly, "I'm the Hokage, I'm the one in charge of this village, you're just a ninja who Itachi killed to unlock his eyes' power." Hiruzen turned and walked back to the window, still whispering, "Nothing happens without my approval, whether it be something as trivial as putting a petty thief on trial, or launching a war, I'm always at the head of it, visibly or pulling strings."

Now in front his window Hiruzen saw the last of the late-nighters retreat to shelter, leaving only sparse ninja patrols walking the night in random, nigh unpredictable patterns. "It's not going to bankrupt the village to supply your group of twenty-one 'dead ninjas' with day to day materials, our economy is the best in the Elemental Countries. I'd rather pay a few hundred bills than lose the lives of any more innocents."

Hiruzen turned his head, fixing the ANBU with a glare he'd remember. "Do you understand?"

"Y-yes sir!" the ANBU stuttered out, trying to appease his leader. "We'll continue to watch Uzumaki for any disturbing signs. As usual, our next report will be in five days, at two in the morning."

"Good." Hiruzen said, "You're dismissed."

The figure saluted crisply. As the ANBU vanished in a puff of smoke, only one thing occupied his thoughts, _'All according to plan...'_

**AN...**

**Edited: 4-24-2011**

**Please review and tell me how you like this chapter.**


	3. The Team

**Chapter 3, The Team**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto he wouldn't be yelling all the damn time.**

Naruto stood in his apartment, putting on his usual, seal laced outfit. When he finished he looked into the large mirror hanging on the wall, blond hair getting in the way a bit. Taking in his appearance, Naruto nodded, smirking; black, ninja shoes disguised as dress shoes, black shinobi pants stripped orange flirted with his shoes, a long-sleeved, black shirt hid his strong, for a twelve year old anyway, chest, headband wrapped around his left bicep, and a pair of fingerless gloves covered his hands. Naruto stretched his limbs experimentally, muttering to himself, "Black is so overdone it's tiresome."

_'Come to think of it, why do so many ninja wear black all the time?'_ Naruto wondered. _'Black, in itself, isn't the best option for stealth; especially on a moonlit night. It's all too easy to spot a moving shadow, a deeper black than its surroundings, throw a kunai, and pick it out of the dead ninja's throat. Gray is such a better color, not too dark, not too bright, blends in just right. Neh, old man, why do so many ninja wear black all the time?'_ Naruto asked.

_'Because it's the new red?' _responded a kind, thoughtful voice. _'Why do you keep calling me old man? I'm younger than you and I don't have any lines on my face. Call me by the name you gave me and I'll be in a better mood.'_

_'Better mood?'_ Naruto questioned. _'If you were tied to a table, stripped of all clothing, had your skin peeled off one layer at a time, got salt poured on your whole body, dipped into a pit of acid, and had both your legs burned off, you'd ask your interrogators if they'd like a cup of tea. You're in the same mood as you've always been.' _

The voice laughed kindly. _'True. The withholding of emotions such as hate, anger, grief and vengeance do nothing but pull oneself away from enlightenment.' _he lectured philosophically. _'I think we're getting off topic though, you said something about black and gray before. Why even waste time thinking about such a thing, don't you have a solution to that color problem?' _

Yes he did. With certain seals in place, Naruto didn't need to worry about any color differences that might give away his position. No matter what, with those clothes on he could walk like a shadow whenever he wanted. Good thing he also put the seals on his skin and hair come to think of it, he thought about using it in a prank for a while now. Not to mention it would help with the _real_ genin exam that day.

_'Yes I do.' _Naruto responded, quirking his mouth when he felt the voice start to fade into the back of his mind. _'It has been nice talking to you old man.'_

_'Same here, brat.'_

Taking one last look in the mirror Naruto saw, as per usual, that he looked like a serious shinobi. His dark clothes, height over most kids his age, and his medium length hair gave him the look of a young, if cocky, warrior.

Naruto smiled when he thought of the looks his class would give him when he would pull his prank, hopefully they haven't grown too immune to daily chaos. He picked up the last piece of his outfit, a large, black cloak that could cover his whole body, and put it on. Without another thought he walked out the door, letting it groan shut behind him.

It looked like the stereotype of a good day; the sun shined, deep, blue sky, birdsong, a cool breeze fluttered through the woods, leaves rustling playfully, everything a person expected from a 'heavenly' village. Every village had their 'demons' so to speak, though, and Konoha didn't ignore that rule of thumb.

Years ago, everywhere you turned you could see traces of crime, thugs walking the streets, prostitutes, and gambling dens headed by Yakuza had been but a few vices that once plagued the city; but organized crime in Konoha and most of Fire Country had all but died out with the rise of some vigilante named "The Savage Inferno", called so for his love of lighting gang buildings ablaze and the way he waged war against criminals.

Even as crime vanished, it got replaced by villagers walking around, exuding arrogance. They strutted around with their noses so high in the air, Naruto wondered why they don't run into walls all the time. Cockiness led to overconfidence, overconfidence led to arrogance, arrogance led to underestimating one's foe, underestimating one's foe led to injury, or worse. Well... he exaggerated actually. Many Konohans didn't have an arrogant bone in their body, only a handful of every dozen considered themselves god's gift to Earth.

Nevertheless, Naruto could only hope that something came along to knock all the fools out of their funk, like one of those disasters that karma loved setting upon people so sure of themselves, before something took out the village for good, like, he didn't know, a massive invasion, some sort of giant bombing, war, disease or evil, mutated dolphins rising up, conquering the entire solar system and becoming the new Overlords.

_'Better watch out for those dolphins,' _Naruto reminded himself. _'They'll take over your mind and force you to preform for THEM!'_

Flaws of humanity, and dolphins, aside, Naruto had to admit, the city looked very peaceful. Well, save those damn, close minded fools who thought Naruto would one day rip their heads off and defecate on their corpses, proceeding to rampage through the village, destroying buildings, trees, kittens, restaurants, the Hokage Tower and the Inuzuka Puppy Orphanage, which he'd never do. After all, he loved puppies, who didn't?

Naruto snapped back to reality when he felt an oh-so familiar feeling crawl up his spine. He sighed, then smirked when something came to mind.

XxXxXxXxX

A nearby villager stood some six feet tall, had brown hair, slate-gray eyes and a huge forehead. He wore a plain, mucus yellow kimono, blue pants, a large hat on his head and traditional open toed sandles. Most of all, he had this odd look in his eyes, as if he saw things only he could see.

For sake of convenience, let's just call him Crazy.

Crazy scowled at the retreating form's back, the 'boy'. He knew this 'boy' caused most, if not all, problems plaguing the good citizens of Konoha. Some of the ninja thought he had a few screws loose. That Yamanaka said he took his grief out on an innocent boy; all lies, the 'boy' would never rest until they all lay dead!

It didn't stop when it killed his daughter, risking her life to buy some time for the Fourth. It even took his wife years later, collapsing their house on her when she tried to escape on the Konohan Day of Fire. He tried to get back at him, using the weapons store he worked in but his boss fired him, saying him selling defective tools would ruin business. Crazy realized then that the boy must have mind control, so he started wearing that hat, lining the inside with tin foil to keep his mind for his own.

He knew it wouldn't think twice about taking on human form. Blending in with his surroundings would lull people into a false sense of security. He'd admit the demon had much patience, after all, it waited for years now, but he knew it will make a move soon.

The villager's gray eyes lost their hate, fear and shock clouding it over. The demon's hair, skin and clothes turned bright red. Crazy's mind latched onto the only 'obvious' explanation why the boy changed color, it would attack the village! He knew he had to act before anyone got hurt!

Every villager within hailing distance stared at the boy, confusion or amusement etched onto their faces. He growled, thinking '_Fools! Don't you know you're all in danger?_' He slowly reached into his pocket, grabbing his favorite knife he kept in his pocket. Crazy quickened his pace, walking up behind the boy, hand holding the knife hidden in his pocket.

_'Nyumi,' _he thought, _'You will rest easy soon.' _A few feet away from Naruto he jumped forward, pulling the knife from his pocket and snapping it into a position that'd make sinking it into the boy's neck much easier.

Now, Crazy may have failed the ninja academy five times straight because he couldn't strengthen his chakra enough, but it didn't mean he couldn't fight. After he dropped out of the academy, he focused on his knife fighting skills in case he ever ran into any trouble in his travels. Over the years, due to his weekly training, his speed reached that of an average genin; but, even though he could fillet a run-of-the-mill bandit, he still had several, glaring weaknesses.

Take away the knife and Crazy couldn't fight at all. Since he could never grasp how to correctly use chakra he gave it up all together, leaving his reserves at an average civilian's level. Plus, he focused solely on his ability with a short blade, after all, you couldn't cut a man's neck with your fist, could you? The few times he got into a fist he came out battered and bloody.

Just as Crazy got ready to jump he felt himself stumble. His lower leg twisted around, echoing off the buildings and attacking alarmed stares. He screamed, anguished, as the bones imploded within his leg, piercing through his flesh and skin with jagged shards as he fell. He landed flat on his face as the lower part of his pant leg grew stained with his crimson blood.

As he rolled onto his back, seeing stars, a person he can't see cried out, "You, go get a doctor!" Crazy howled painfully, concerned people crowding around him, as a man ran to the nearby hospital. Concerned some foolish person would see it Crazy rolled onto his small blade, shielding it from view while he slid it back into his pocket. Shortly after the man ran back, accompanied by two men in white coats, red crosses stitched on the back. Between the two rolled a white stretcher, bouncing slightly in their haste.

Yelling loudly, "Clear the way! Clear the way!" the medics reached Crazy, kneeling down to check his injuries. They cut away his pant leg, exposing the villager's muscular, blood soaked limb. White shards of once supporting bone, stuck out like ethereal daggers, bleached whiter than snow. Taking in his injuries, the older medic-nin shook his white-topped head to the young apprentice.

Speaking calmly and professionally, despite the emergency, he said, "It's no good; the bone fractured too much. If we were to heal him in this state, his leg won't heal properly, it'll come together into disfigured clumps. We need to take him back to the hospital and set the broken bones back in place; quickly now, before he loses too much blood." The younger medic nodded his head enthusiastically , lowering the stretcher to the ground.

When it touched the ground, the younger medic grabbed Crazy, passed out from blood loss, around the shoulders. The older one grabbed him around the waist so he won't aggravate his leg further. They placed the bleeding man on the stretcher, raising it to waist level. They turned to the hospital and ran back, keeping a good grip on the stretcher between them and leaving a whispering crowd and blood stained, dirt road behind.

A Good Samaritan bent down to pick up Crazy's hat, which fell off when he hit the ground. He ran after the stretcher, intent on returning the hat and wondering why the inside had a lining of aluminum foil.

While all that happened, the only sign Naruto gave that he knew what happened behind him remained turned head and a concerned visage. Not once did he break stride as he turned the corner, vanishing from view.

As he turned a corner and deactivated the seals, turning back to his normal color, Naruto's face lost any concern, setting into a neutral look and giving no hint to what gears turned behind it. It had been a long while since anyone attacked Naruto, sans the obligatory ninja or bandit when he went traveling with Kakashi. Naruto had thought all the crazies either moved on or got locked in a Psychiatric ward. He stood immobile, listening at what occurred around the corner, "Clear the way, clear the way!" yelled the older medic.

With his bloodline, Naruto could manipulate kinetic energy anywhere, regardless of his surroundings. He could make items explode or implode by using enough force. The only thing blocking him, how much energy the object or person had. If the object, or person, had more than the average academy student's energy level, he couldn't make it/person or parts of it/person explode, implode or break without applying enough energy that made the withdrawal not worth the outcome.

Shaking his head to clear it out and slapping on his usual grin, Naruto continued onto the academy, ignoring the villagers and running some scenarios through his head. Smirking, he sent out a little mental message to a certain council member, one of his favorites.

_At the academy:_

Iruka sat in his chair, resting behind his desk. He flipped through the team assignments, eyes reading but not taking in any words. Normally he forced his mind not to wander, making himself more focused on his job, but today his mind kept going back to his star pupil, for lack of better term.

_Flash Back:_

Yesterday, during the discussion about Mizuki, Naruto and why people should bow down to Lord Jell, Iruka asked Naruto. "Why do you do you pull pranks all the time? Considering that you're a bright kid I assumed that you just studied all the time." In the time he stood in the office, Iruka found out Naruto had a bloodline and genius intelligence yet never studied, pulling pranks instead. At least he knew who pulled all the unsolved pranks, and why he hasn't been targeted.

Naruto responded, "About the study part, I already told you I have a photographic memory."

_'Lies... all of it lies... you cheat-' _claimed the guttural voice within before cutting off.

"I never need to study." Naruto continued, shutting it out and forcing his face smooth. "As for the pranks, when you have a mind that makes The Professor wet himself with envy,"

Hiruzen interrupted, face embarrassing red as he mumbled something that sounded strangely like "One time! One time that happened!"

Iruka had the tact not to laugh.

Naruto brought the teacher's attention back to himself by coughing, and continued. "Like I was saying; when you have a mind that makes the professor wet himself in envy, books and scrolls can only hold your attention for so long. So I took up a constructive hobby, one that would help me improve my evasion and stealth skills."

Iruka looked skeptical, eyes unbelieving. "But why pranking? Why not train those skills instead of remodeling the Hokage monument to have the second picking his nose and the Third reading Icha Icha?"

Naruto said seriously, face straight, "There is nothing as satisfying as seeing mass chaos and hysteria caused by something you did, it makes me all warm and fuzzy. When it got to a point that they sent out ANBU to stop me and yet I still got away I took pity on them and started wearing that neon orange jumpsuit in addition to that skull mask whenever I pulled one. It didn't seem to help much though." he chuckled.

Iruka stood silent, face indecipherable, "While we're getting everything in the open, I have one last question." Naruto watched him, waiting. "There were many times over the years when you were absent from class. Whenever I asked The Head about it, he always said something about 'a pardon from the Hokage'. What were you doing, practicing with your bloodline?"

Naruto lowered his head for a few seconds, refusing to meet his gaze. When he finally raised his head he said, "Remember when I said I've killed before?" he asked, not waiting for a reply. "There's your answer."

_Flashback End:_

Iruka had trouble getting to sleep last night. Those periodic absences from class began a month after Naruto started the academy, at age eight. _'Four years...'_ thought Iruka tiredly, rubbing his eyes._ 'Naruto went to God knows where and killed people. I've never seen any signs of a first kill, never sleeplessness, lack of appetite, guilt, anger, nothing! I can think of a few explanations; he might have got counseling, or worse, he killed before then, like Itachi...'_

Iruka shook those thoughts out of his mind. Naruto might have had a swift mind like him, but he couldn't end up like Itachi. He smiled, laughed, and pulled pranks, Itachi never did anything besides training and missions. Naruto would never snap... right?

_'I pray that I never learn the answer to that.'_ Iruka concluded. Around him the class boiled explosively, talking about what they'd do now that they had headbands. Iruka heard mostly about going out and drinking, since all laws treated ninja as adults regardless of age. Iruka laughed lowly, _'The ones that pass today will never get past their third shot.' _He tried his best to hid his tiredness, calling for silence.

As his class slowly settled down, Iruka swiveled his head to see who, if any, didn't show, other than the handful that didn't pass the exam. Kiba bragged to one boy, Keturo, about how he beat up this one kid yesterday. Sasuke sat in his usual pose with Sakura latched onto his arm, Ino glaring daggers at her from the back of the room, Shino sat stoically, Hinata stole glances at Naruto, Shikamaru laid down on his desk, using it as a bed and a book as a pillow, and Choji munched on a bag of potato chips. When Iruka's eyes landed on Naruto, the boy's skin, hair and clothes turned a vibrant green, causing a few surprised exclamations and a raised eyebrow from Iruka . He could see the boy trying to hold his laughter.

Shaking his head slowly and standing up, Iruka spoke, "And now we've reached the end of the year. Today you'll all get assigned a jonin sensei. You have all worked really hard to receive your headbands. I wish you all luck in the future. The teams will be as followed, team one will be…"

It went on as such. Iruka announcing teams made up of civilian children and one or two unlucky shinobi children. It continued until he said, "Team Seven will be made up of Sasuke Uchiha, Shino Aburame, and Sakura Haruno." The class ignored Sakura's yells about something along the lines of 'True love conquering all' and Ino's upset groan.

"Continuing on, Team Seven's Jonin Sensei will be Kakashi Hatake. Team Eight will consist of Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki." An outraged yell from Kiba interrupted Iruka, accompanied by a soft thump, showing Hinata had fainted... again.

"How come I'm on a team with the nerd? Why can't I get someone who knows how to fight?" He bellowed.

Iruka almost said something but paused, knowing Naruto would like to handle it himself. "Because Kiba, with Hinata's Byakugan and excellent Jyuken," thump, "my mind and your sense of smell, which is capable of finding your favorite fire hydrant whenever you get lost,"

"Oi!"

Ignoring that, the gold boy continued "We have a very versatile team. I'm the thinker, since I don't want to burden your simple mind. Out in the field you and your dog could smell any potential adversaries before they become a threat, and if that fails we have Hinata's Byakugan, right Hinata?" He smiled warmly at her… thump. "As it is we have a team very capable at taijutsu. As for our other skills I'm sure our sensei will iron them out. Any questions dog boy?"

Kiba growled angrily. "Yeah! What are you going to do? You're just going to sit on your ass all day and have us do the hard work, aren't you nerd?"

The orange Naruto made a disappointed noise. "Kiba, Kiba, Kiba. You'll find out what I can do later. We've already taken up a lot of time with our discussion. Please turn your attention to the door." The class did, and what they saw was eight jonin sensei waiting for the teams.

"Please continue Iruka sensei." Requested the blue boy.

"Right… as I was saying. Team Eight's jonin sensei will be Kurenai Yuhi. Team Nine is still active. Team Ten will be; Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka. Your jonin sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi. As I said before you have all worked really hard, don't let your sensei down." His part done, Iruka sat back down and let the jonin sensei call their teams.

"Team Three meet me in room 103." A jonin disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Team six meet me on the roof." A kunochi walked out.

"Team Eight come with me." Said an attractive woman with brown hair and red eyes as she walked out the door.

"Team Ten meet me in the courtyard." Said a grizzled man with spiky black hair, a large beard and a cigarette in his mouth before he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Team Two come wit-" The door slammed shut behind Team Eight and Team Ten. Ino grumbled about having a lazy-ass and a fat-ass on her team, Shikamaru mumbled 'Troublesome' while Choji just munched on yet another bag of potato chips that magically appeared in his hand, just kidding he had a whole storage scroll filled with them. Team Eight followed suit as they trudged after their teacher; Naruto walked silently, Hinata did her best impression of a tomato, trying not to faint, and Kiba complained just a little louder than Ino.

"Why do I always end up with a loser?"

The teams parted ways, Team Ten went through a door leading to the central courtyard and Team Eight walked to an empty classroom. Naruto, Hinata and Kiba entered, their collective sensei shutting the door behind them. She turned to them and said "Everybody sit down. First we need to learn about each other. Tell us what you like, what you dislike, your dreams or goals and your hobbies. I'll go first; my name is Kurenai Yuhi. My likes are drinking, my boyfriend and my friend Anko. My dislikes are smokers and sexist pigs. My dreams are to prove to the village that genjutsu isn't as weak as most people say it is and that women can make just as good a ninja as men. My hobbies are practicing my genjutsu and hanging out with my friends. Your turn." she said pointing to Kiba.

"My name is Kiba Inuzuka. My likes are my dog Akamaru," "Arf!" "my clan and my friends. My dislikes are leashes, fleas and nerds that sit on there asses all day." He angrily glared at Naruto… now sunny yellow. "My dreams are to become the strongest Inuzuka in history and to get my sister to shut up about my underwear." Kurenai raised an eyebrow. "My hobbies are running through the forest with Akamaru and practicing my clan jutsu."

"Alright, you're next miss." Kurenai stated, pointing at Hinata.

"M-my name is Hinata Hyuuga. My likes are cinnamon buns and…" the girl paused for a few seconds, trying to fight off another fainting attack. Kurenai waited patiently, she had previous experiences with her. "My dislikes are when people call me weak or say fate is in control of everything... My goals are to abolish a certain seal and prove to someone that fate doesn't exist. My hobby is flower pressing." Hinata blushed, again.

Kurenai grinned a bit. "Okay, and finally you rainbow boy." She said pointing at a now black Naruto.

Naruto sighed, and started ticking off fingers, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. My likes are the Old Man, reading and developing improved ninja tools. My dislikes are bigoted idiots and people that can't see behind the veil. My goals are to prove those bigoted idiots wrong and to leave my mark on the world, having a lot of fun on the way. My hobbies are reading books and scrolls, mastering new jutsu, tinkering with a variety of things, solving natural mysteries, going on trips with Kakashi and pranking." At that moment Kiba's pants fell down, much to his embarrassment, Naruto's amusement, Hinata's blushing and Kurenai's confusion.

Big, pink and red hearts.

While Kiba struggled to pull his pants back up Kurenai said, "Now that we have the introductions out of the way, meet me at training ground twenty so I can give you the real genin test." When she said 'test' Kiba fell over.

"What? A test? I thought we already took our exam!" He screamed.

"Really Kiba? Use your brain for once. First off, if we had as many kids pass last year as we did this year then how come the only other genin team from last year is Team Nine? Second, if you think a test had anything to do with becoming a ninja it's for all the wrong reasons. We learned history and mathematics not for the reasons you think we did, but so the academy could learn how well we can grasp new knowledge and for how long we can remember it. That's why we had a healthy number of questions from year one. As for the basic three the same applies to them, they wanted to know how well we can learn and use jutsu. The exam yesterday is just supposed to weed out those who can't remember things well or don't study important material. The next test is to eliminate those who are not prepared for ninja life. If most of the kids that passed yesterday were to do even a C-rank, as it is they would be in grave danger of severe injury or death. But enough of that please continue sensei." The now normal colored boy requested.

Kurenai quirked an eyebrow in mild amusement as Kiba grumbled. "Meet me at training ground twelve in twenty minuets." She vanished in a puff of smoke.

_Training Ground Twelve:_

_Puff. _The cloud of smoke vanished, blown away by a light breeze. Kurenai gazed around the training ground. She stood in the clearing's center, to one side of her a decent sized lake reflected the rising sun while just a few feet from her a couple of training posts jutted out of the ground. Large, Konohan trees surrounded her, damp from the cool morning.

Kurenai heard a puff to her left. She turned her head and watched as the shroud of smoke thinned. When it cleared she saw one of her potential students, Naruto. Curious, Kurenai asked "When did you learn Shushin? Most ninja don't learn it until they reach chunin."

"You'd be surprised how many jutsu scrolls are just lying around the Old Man's office." Naruto lied smoothly, "He usually lets me borrow one or two every week." He claimed, grinning.

Kurenai made a mental note to watch out for this boy. If he told the truth, taking yesterday's incident in account, he might have a lot of jutsu under his belt, ones no fresh out of the academy genin should know. One thing bugged her though, who would part with so many scrolls so easily? "Naruto, who's this 'Old Man' you keep on talking about?" She asked him.

Naruto smiled, chuckling a bit. "He's the man you call 'boss'."

For Kurenai it clicked into place a moment later. _'So, he's on nickname terms with the Hokage.'_ she contemplated, observing Naruto discreetly. _'There probably much more to him than his academy file lets on. Need to find out more about this.'_

However, the sudden appearance of Kiba and Hinata stopped her from casually interrogating the boy. "I mean, come on!" Kiba complained enthusiastically, "Why did I have to hold him down while the vet snipped him? He wasn't even my dog!" Hinata made a face, followed shortly by a nervous whimper from Akamaru.

Kurenai raised an eyebrow, getting the feeling she would use that expression often with her team. Not wasting a moment Kurenai addressed them all, "Alright, the test will begin in a moment. Line up so I can give you the rules."

Naruto took a few steps forward and turned abruptly on his heel just as Hinata and Kiba walked up beside him. Kurenai scanned them for a moment, nodding imperceptibly to herself.

"The object of this test is for each of you to take one of these bells," she held up three bells before tying them to her pouch. "before time runs out." She took a small timer out of her pocket and wound it, setting it to two hours and placing it on a nearby training post. "If one of you doesn't get a bell, that person will be sent back to the academy while the others become genin." She saw startled looks on Kiba's and Hinata's faces and a strange flash in Naruto's eyes.

"The only way the three of you will get the bells is if you come at me with the intent to kill. Begin when I say… go!"

Using speed only a jonin possessed, Kurenai brought herself into a complex taijutsu stance, waiting for the genin to rush her. To her surprise, though, Kiba didn't make the first move like she thought, the shy Hyūga heiress did. She rushed toward the jonin, striking out with her deadly fingers, but Kurenai managed to twist out of the way. She had a split second to see the others. She caught a glimpse of Kiba doing something with Akamaru and Naruto… sitting in a lawn chair eating popcorn? Kurenai would have face faulted if not for Hinata.

"Alright boy we're fighting a jonin, so you know what we are going to do." Kiba, kneeling down on one knee, said, "Eat up." he popped a soldier pill into Akamaru's mouth, before getting down on all fours.

"Beast Mimicry" Kiba muttered, taking on a wild look. His teeth sharpened, his hair grew shaggy, a feral look gleamed in his eye and underneath all that his strength tripled. His companion, Akamaru, changed too, his white fur turned a dark, brownish-red and his teeth sharpened to fine points. He hopped onto his master's back.

"Man-Beast Clone!" Kiba growled ferally. A shroud of smoke enveloped the two. When it cleared, there crouched an exact replica of Kiba on top of the other, looking just as feral as the original.

"Fang Wolf Fang!" The pair suddenly started spinning, twin cyclones shredded the ground under them. The deadly missiles homed in on Hinata and Kurenai, intent on rending one of them in half.

Hinata had impressed Kurenai. Even though Kurenai did her, well, not best to dodge her, she had already closed three tenketsu. While, the small, lithe girl ducked under and step sided most of the genjutsu specialist's attacks. So far she'd landed only one hit, and that a glancing blow. Cut her some slack though, not like Kurenai actually went all out on her.

Hinata abruptly jumped backwards when she heard a whirling sound approach them, only knowing to thanks to her Byakugan. Kurenai reacted instantly, turning to face this new threat. Her hands blurred out of sight, making handseals faster than most genin could follow.

As the twisters neared she reached the last seal and held it. "Demonic Illusion." Kurenai mumbled. Instantly, Kiba and Akamaru stopped and skidded across the ground, one of them howling in pain while the other whimpered. The sight almost made Hinata rush forward and attack her, but stopped when a familiar voice called out to her.

"Oi Hinata!" with her Byakugan active, the shy heiress easily spotted the object flying towards her. She turned and caught a... bag of popcorn? "If you don't mind I would like to take a shot at her." Asked Naruto, who stood no less than three feet behind Kiba and the now untransformed Akamaru.

When he saw the girl nod hesitantly, Naruto took a stance and eyed his sensei for a few moments. Kurenai released the genjutsu and switched to a fighting stance also, thinking, _'Coming at me one at a time? Don't they know anything about teamwork?'_

After a moment, Naruto charged and aimed a roundhouse kick at Kurenai's head. The jonin blocked it easily, a little surprised at the boy's speed, but felt a light pain when it connected. _'This boy is stronger than his file suggested.' _Mused Kurenai.

Naruto smirked slightly before adding a little extra juice to his next kick. With his bloodline, not only could he manipulate kinetic energy in and around objects and people, he can manipulate kinetic energy in his own body too. By doing that he can run faster, hit harder and cut down on fatigue. The downside is if he forces his body to move to fast or hit too hard with kinetic energy, he could get strained muscles, cracked or broken bones, liquified muscles or even explode from his body getting overloaded. Potential death aside, he liked this bloodline application a lot.

He learned long ago that the more developed his muscles grew the better they could handle the strain and thus the faster and stronger he could go. Thinking that, three years ago he started to study under Maito Gai to strengthen his muscles and learn taijutsu. Even though the man had... different thoughts when it came to 'training', Naruto managed to do everything the teacher asked him with little complaint. Gai still taught him even when he took on a genin team, so one day Naruto met them. The end result: a friendship with TenTen, a hatred for Neji and Naruto somehow ending up Lee's 'eternal rival'. Green spandex wearing taijutsu monsters aside, those three years resulted in Naruto learning several taijutsu forms and getting a very muscular build, for a twelve year old.

But back to the fight; Naruto kicked off Kurenai's block, spinning around for another roundhouse kick on Kurenai's other side. She saw it coming and ducked under the extended leg. As the leg soared over her head Naruto's body spun with it. With his feet back on ground Kurenai struck at his back.

Even though he couldn't see his opponent he could still hear the slight swish of air that came with movement. Blood thumped through his veins, he dodged by doing a back flip over his sensei and landing behind her. As soon as he landed, Naruto threw a sweeping kick, aiming at her legs, to try to trip up his sensei. Kurenai easily hopped over it. Landing, she jumped to the side and set foot on the lake, the sight of which made Kiba's eyes bug out.

Naruto jumped after her and landed on the water as well, impressing her slightly. Kurenai's hands blurred out of focus, Naruto's hands following shortly after, Kurenai easily seeing which he used. Shortly after he began Kurenai recognized the seal sequence, with her eyes widening she redoubled her efforts.

Naruto enhanced his speed using his bloodline, the only reason he finished before his sensei. He held the last seal for a moment, calling out, "Water Dragon Jutsu." A tower formed in the middle of the calm lake, forming into a huge, dragon shaped projectile. It shot towards Kurenai, making her either finish her jutsu and get blasted or dodge it.

She chose to dodge it.

As Kurenai jumped she tossed a trio of shuriken at her opponent. Naruto charged after her, avoiding the thrown instruments with a quick step side. Before his sensei could throw any more he reached her, landing a solid kick to her gut and making her double over.

Kurenai took advantage of the situation by grabbing his leg and threw him towards the shore. Naruto flew through the air, revolving end over end and barely managing to land on his feet, stumbling slightly. Kurenai jumped after him, landing on the the shore just as Naruto reached into his weapons pack and took out a small kunai.

She eyed it warily, before saying aloud, "You should be careful with that, you might poke an eye out."

Naruto started circling her cautiously, knife pointed tip first in her direction, "Your eye maybe." he retorted cockily.

Kurenai took out a kunai of her own, a toothy smile growing, "Show me."

The two matched gazes, circling each other slowly. Suddenly Naruto lashed out with his blade, aiming for his prospective sensei's gut. Using the flat of her blade Kurenai deflected it, slashing back at his chest. Off balance from the deflection, Naruto stumbled out of the gleaming blade's reach, barely avoiding damage to his favorite shirt. Kurenai followed up with another slash.

Naruto hit the dirt as the knife soared at his head. He twisted around swiftly and kicked Kurenai in her knee, making her stumble, and jumped back to his feet. Naruto slashed at her, forcing her to deflect again, and threw a handful of dirt he collected while on the ground into her eyes.

Kurenai cursed, jumping back and disappearing into the lake. Naruto stood, confused, as she vanished without a trace. Too late he realized what had happened. Letting out a pulse of chakra, an odd itch appeared on his throat.

Naruto didn't move, knowing that, at the slightest movement, his sensei's kunai could sever his jugular vein. _'This is why I let Kakashi handle the ninja.'_ He told himself.

The itch vanished, his sensei jumping and landing on a training stump with the grace of a cat.

"Well you three," Kurenai said, glancing at the timer, "you still have almost one and a half hours until the timer goes off, make the best of it."

"More than enough time t-." Naruto chimed in, only to get interrupted when a puff of smoke popped up a few feet away. When the smoke cleared it there was an ANBU with a wolf mask standing there.

"Please forgive the intrusion Kurenai, but the Hokage requests Naruto's Uzumaki's presence immediately" The man behind the mask called crisply, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Kurenai sighed, "Alright then," she muttered, snatching up the timer, saying louder, "team dismissed. "Remember, meet back here tomorrow at Ten o'clock a.m. Don't be late."

"Wait!" Kiba yelled, "Does this mean you passed us?"

Kurenai gave him a wry smile, "Yes, but since you still didn't pass my test expect to be paid back later." Without another word she vanished. No puff of smoke, no breeze, no indication she ever existed.

Kiba whooped and hollered, congratulating himself and Akamaru on a job well done. Hinata looked confused however, what did the Hokage need with Naruto?

"Oh great! If it is what I think it is then I'm going to have a hell of a headache tomorrow." Naruto grumbled, not happy in the slightest.

"See you tomorrow!" puff, smoke wafted away in the breeze.

As Kiba rushed home to tell his mother about the test, embellishing his role slightly, and to rub it in his sister's face, Hinata looked at the pop-corn bag in her hands.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

**A.N.**

_**Edited: 6-5-11**_

**Just one thing, as stated far above even more random people can leave reviews.**

**And lastly please review. I spent a lot of time working on my new writing style, and I want to hear what **_**YOU**_** have to say about it. You know, to tell if it was a waste of time or not?**


	4. An eventful meeting

**Chapter 4, An Eventful Meeting**

**Sorry for the delayed update. I got lost on the road of Super Smash Brothers Brawl, on a side note I'm a beast with Kirby.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, hen he would know what it means when Hinata looks at him, blushes and faints.**

Poof; Naruto appeared just outside the Hokage's office in a shroud of smoke. As it faded away, he turned his attention to the secretary who sat behind her desk. She had red hair, green-gray eyes, and a slight build. She gave him a small smile and said, "Please wait a moment; the Hokage is in a meeting and will be done shortly."

Naruto smiled back. Taking a seat in on the other side of the room in a sturdy, Konohan wood chair, he turned to look at the secretary once more. He couldn't help but think back a few years.

_Flashback:_

Once upon a time, she belonged to the incredibly small group that thought very little of Naruto. He first went to the office at the age of five. When he asked in a steady and young voice if he could see the Hokage she coldly said no. So Naruto went over to the same chair, sat down, pulled out a scroll and started to read.

After about ten minutes wait he asked again, his cool, blue eyes boring his way into her's. She glared at him and said even colder, "No he's not in! Even if he was he has better things to do than waste his time with a brat like you!" Naruto just flashed an odd, strained smile at her.

After ten more minutes he said, "Are you sure he's not in?" She almost repeated herself a little more aggressively when the door to the Hokage's office opened.

"Mrs. Yuko, it seems my 3:00 O'clock appointment is late. Could you message Jiraiya and tell him-" Sarutobi stopped when he saw a mop of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. "Naruto how long have you been sitting there? You're twenty minutes late!"

"Sorry old man, I had to deal with something before I got here and it took longer that I thought. I've been sitting here for about five seconds; the nice lady over there was going to check if you were free before you came out." Naruto said coolly, throwing a look at Yuko.

Sarutobi just shook his head with a small smile gracing his face. He knew his secretary's position regarding Naruto, but the boy asked for him not to do anything about her. The boy told him one day that, when it came to the people that hated him, to let him handle them.

When Hiruzen asked how he would do it Naruto responded, "It's very simple. If a person thinks a certain way about you then just do the exact opposite of what that view of you is. Hopefully, I say that because some people are stuck thinking they're right indefinitely, their opinions of you will change eventually. For example if someone thinks you're a sexist bastard then treat the opposite sex with respect and don't spew bullshit like 'woman's work'. Plus it's fun to screw with people's heads." He added as an after thought. And the boy _loved _to mess with people's heads.

Seeing the boy's words play out before him, Hiruzen couldn't deny it. Yuko looked thoroughly confused. Oh yeah, and she could change her opinion.

Over the next few months she acted more and more cold towards the boy only to get the same responses from him, a shrug, a look or nothing at all. Eventually she came to a conclusion, a month or so after Naruto's birthday, to treat him kindly.

However, it would take months before Naruto went to the office again. The Konohan fire had killed thousands, destroyed a tenth of Konoha, injured thousands more and left the boy in a coma for seven months.

The next time Naruto visited he came a little early. Yuko couldn't tell what, but something felt different about him. Before the meeting started Yuko cleared her throat, earning her the blonde boy's attention. "Naruto, my first thoughts of you were the result of rumors and gossip. I realized that I was wrong and my actions towards you were unfounded. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive a foolish woman." The last words sounded pleading.

In response Naruto gave her a calm and calculating look, as if trying to find if she the sincerity of her words; a look that didn't belong on a seven year old child. To her it felt like a small eternity until the boy said, "Okay." and turned his attention back to his scroll.

Yuko fixed him with an incredulous gaze, "For the past two years I have been treating you in a way no child deserves. I have insulted you, yelled at you, and after all that the moment I ask you to forgive me you do it without a second thought?"

At that Naruto let out a low chuckle. "It's like you're trying to make me not forgive you. There are a few things I don't believe in; one is petty things such as revenge or holding a grudge, and another, macaroni and cheese." he said it so seriously, Yuko believed him, "I forgave you so easily because you didn't have the full story, whatever it is." A few sugar-coated lies, he already knew the whole story.

At that moment, Sarutobi exited his office with a smile on his face. "Naruto are you ready for your lesson?" the boy just nodded. "Then follow me to my compound."

_Present:_

The door to the Hokage's office opened, four people stepped out.

Maito Gai. The green jumpsuit, orange striped leg warmers and standard Konoha flack jacket struck people the most. However, his huge, bushy eyebrows and odd grin gave him an even odder appearance.

Rock Lee, Gai's protegee, who looked like a carbon copy of his sensei.

Tenten Higurashi, brown eyes and long brown hair worn in Chinese-style buns, one either side of her head. She wore a pink sleeveless blouse and dark green pants.

And the ever cold Neji Hyūga, a rather feminine boy with long, dark brown hair, empty white eyes, an a cold, self-assured air hovering around him.

"Young Naruto!" Gai yelled very loudly, making the secretary wince, "Your flames of youth are burning very brightly today!"

"Thanks Gai-sensei." Naruto knew better than to ask what he meant. "What did you, Lee, and Tenten meet with the old man about?" He queried, completely ignoring Neji.

"YOSH! Our team has just been assigned a very youthful C-rank mission!" Yelled Gai as he stood sideways, smiling and holding his hand, making a thumbs-up. The reflection from his teeth nearly blinded the Secretary.

"What kind of mission is it?" Naruto asked, ignoring the look of disgust on Neji's face.

"We're escorting a youthful trader caravan! We don't know where we are going so we may be gone for a while. I'd like to see my eternal rival try his hand at teaching and try to best that!" Naruto just shook his head with a slightly forced smile on his face. He felt bad for the traders, having to deal with 'Mr. Fate' for who knows how long will more than likely drive them crazy.

"I'd like to stay and chat Gai but I have to meet with the old man. Remember Lee we were supposed to have our nest spar tomorrow so we'll just have to have it the day you get back. If you let your skills dull with your time away I will never let you hear the end of it, don't disappoint me!" Naruto warned.

"YOSH! Naruto if we don't last more than three hours in our spar then I will run one hundred fifty laps around Konoha with a boulder on my back!" Lee yelled, 'Nice Gai pose'.

Lee felt a hand on his shoulder. When the boy turned around he saw his sensei/father figure had tears streaming down his face. Shortly after he locked eyes with his sensei Lee started to tear up as well.

Yuko the secretary, not having dealt with the pair before, thought something bad happened. Before she could ask them what's wrong, Gai yelled something that made her jump and wonder if all ninja's had their own little 'quirks'. "LEE!" he sobbed. "You fill me so full of pride knowing that I am your sensei! You're the hardest worker I've ever seen and your flames of youth burn the brightest ever!"

"Gai sensei you make me so proud to be your student! Your flames of youth never diminish and you're the best taijutsu master I know!" Lee blubbered/yelled out.

"Lee!" Gai yelled.

"Gai sensei!" Lee mimicked his teacher.

Naruto, having had much experience with the pair, did the appropriate counter-measures, which included throwing himself at Yuko and covering her eyes whilst yelling hysterically, "God dammit! They're doing it again, cover your eyes!"

"Lee!" the green spandex wearing taijutsu beast ran towards his student, despite them only being a few feet away.

"Gai sensei!" the bowl cut boy rushed over to his mentor. To some watching it felt almost as if the two had rehearsed this before coming. Sadly, they rehearse it every Wednesday.

"Lee!" too wrapped up in the ensuing mass chaos nobody noticed that Naruto had disappeared.

"GAI SENSEI!" they embraced. Unfortunately for Mr. Fate, he had busied himself by thinking about fate, the Hyūga and his cousin's weakness too feel better about himself. When he came back to the world of the living he endured the most sadistic invention ever made by youth-kind.

Overwhelmed by the power of youth, Neji fell to the ground a twitching mess.

It took a minute for the illusion to vanish. In its place stood an office with one twitching and one cowering genin, three ANBU rocking back and forth in fetal positions, two green spandex wearing taijutsu monsters hugging each other, a small weapons bag on the floor and a scared shit-less secretary who started thinking she should demand hazard pay. From that day on the ANBU would have a deathly fear of the sun, Yuko of the color green, and Neji of rainbows, swans, dolphins, potatoes, chess pieces, unnatural hair colors and puppies.

Don't ask.

"Please stop doing that sensei! You're breaking others now!" screeched Tenten as she pointed at an ANBU, who rocked back and forth mumbling something about the sun mooning him.

"I'm sorry my most youthful student. We will try to reduce our expressions of youth in public places in the future." Gai said solemnly, letting go of Lee.

"Well we need to get going." Tenten muttered, "See you when we get back Naruto. Naruto? Naruto where did you go?" the three members of Team Nine looked around the room trying to find the blonde as the ANBU started to recompose themselves. They saw no sign of him.

"Please tell me it's safe to come out now." All those capable snapped their attention source. They all gazed at the floor to see that it came from the weapon pouch. Their expressions changed from confusion to shock when said blonde's head popped out.

"I guess it's safe to say you two are done with your little connection." Said Naruto as he shifted his eyes around suspiciously. "And since you are I can go see the old man without losing what little of my sanity I have left." The boy then pulled himself out of the pouch. When it sat firmly secured to his belt, Naruto walked through the door and into the office.

Out in the waiting room, nothing but silence reigned for several moments, then "Wait! That bastard had his own little safe house and didn't tell me? I''ll kill him!" Naruto would later learn one thing: that, when one's sanity gets threatened on a daily basis, they start to lose it.

_In the Office:_

A tired groan sounded through out the leader's office. Gai and his team had just requested a higher ranked mission, so Hiruzen took pity on his eardrums and assigned them a mission that would keep them away for a long while. With the loud duo out of his office Hiruzen took a second to ponder why Naruto liked the pair so much. Then he shook it off and turned his attention back to wage the ongoing war against his old enemy, at least until Naruto showed up.

When his eyes latched back onto his old foe, Hiruzen's twin orbs narrowed. While preoccupied with handling Gai his old adversary had regrouped and came back with reinforcements. Before Gai steeped foot into his office less than ten sat scattered around, but they had come back with well over a thousand! As Hiruzen stared down the army amassed before him, he thought one thing, _'I'm too old for this.'_

One charged at him, prepared to strike. The aged Kage easily cut him down with a couple of swift strokes. As soon as that one fell though, another rushed the harmless looking old man only to suffer the same fate as his fellow.

To those who held no office, the thought of this enemy made them laugh at worst.

Another fell.

To those that held office the mere thought of this enemy caused them to shake in fear.

Wave after wave came after the poor old man, but despite their numbers they all fell swiftly. Once Minato came into office he soon fell under the endless horde of boredom and repetition. To the poor boy the Kyuubi's attack blessed him, for it freed him from a beast far more malevolent. Even though it led to his death.

More replaced their lost comrades, though they fell just as swiftly; only replaced once again by the endless tide. If he didn't know better, Hiruzen would have sworn that the bastard only did it to get away from this horrible routine, and even then the thought still resided there. Then he laid his eyes on the biggest one he ever saw, well over one foot tall. It poised to take him out, the poor old man only had a moment to widen his eyes in fear before it struck.

Sarutobi's hands sped into making handseals faster than any eye could see. This one would only fall through the use of his most powerful fire jutsu. This never ending tide of the thing all high officials feared would finally subside.

Just as Hiruzen neared the end of the jutsu he heard a loud voice just outside his office yell. So focused on his jutsu and jolted by the interruption, it threw off his concentration and messed up the jutsu. Too much in shock to register what the voices yelled about, Hiruzen thought about what he almost did.

The stress of the job must have gotten him, but what Naruto did last night while Hiruzen wasn't looking didn't help matters at all. In the heat of the moment he almost used a jutsu that could blow up the entire tower! And for what? Paperwork! A fucking pile of paperwork! He almost killed himself and more than likely over one hundred Ninja and civilians because he had to fight these monsters!

He really needed a vacation.

The poor old man turned his attention back to the letter the boy he considered a grandson left him last night.

_'Hey old man! You might have noticed that the papers are acting a little more lively, don't worry it's just a seal that I placed on your desk to make your day a little less boring. I put it on the desk last night during our talk and any paper that is placed on the desk will be capable of holding your attention for a while. To deal with them just catch them and sign off on your decision regarding what the paperwork is about. This will make your day funner as well as giving you some much needed exercise. Have fun!'_

–_Naruto_

As the letter growled at him, somehow sounding like an angry dog, Hiruzen rubbed his temples. Standing up and taking a cautious step back, his chair jolted out of place. Growling the letter slowly advanced, the corners of the page acting as legs. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Hiruzen spotted the thick, foot tall stack of paper stalking him. As if some all powerful individual decided his day just had to get worse, the poor old man saw all the other papers on his desk he didn't already sign off on, coming alive and advancing slowly.

Hiruzen abandoned his brush, using tools more suited for his current situation, Kunai and Shuriken. Times like this, he regretted stationing his guards outside his office rather than in. The letter Naruto left jumped at the poor old man's face only to get cut in half by a shuriken. The rest charged only to get pinned or ripped in half.

One lunged at his leg but felt a kunai's sting before it latched on. Fed up with this little fiasco, Hiruzen summoned Enma to help deal with the swarm. "Enma turn into my staff quickly!"

The summon looked around skeptically, only noticing that the office covered in shredded paper. "Why? Come on Sarutobi its just paper. If you want my help to sign them then you aren't getting it. Though by the looks of it you're not signing them you're killing them, did you finally lose it?" the monkey king said, chuckling.

At that moment, Enma heard a growl to his left. He looked down to see a small stack of papers walking towards him. Before the poor monkey king could register that a piece of paper growled at him, it jumped at him and latched onto his face. It clawed him ferociously, somehow leaving huge, bleeding claw marks behind. With a yell he pulled it off his face and threw it away, staring at it in confusion. As it once again tried to pounce on him Enma yelled, "What the hell is going on!"

"Isn't it obvious?" Hiruzen roared back, cutting down another wave, "It's an attack of the living Paperwork! They've been at it all day just turn into your staff form!" Enma hesitated, confused beyond all reason, but who could have blame him? He half expected some guy to pop out and start singing show tunes.

"Now!" Enma decided to humor the old coot. In a flash he turned into a staff and landed in the old Kage's hand. Flourishing, Hiruzen spun around and destroyed the last few papers around him.

"Well, now that we're done, why don't you dismiss me so I can get back to my lunch?" the staff grumbled. Hiruzen shook his head solemnly.

"No, I'm afraid not my old friend, the fight is just starting." He claimed as he watched his desk. While Hiruzen fought for his life, the foot tall stack retreated back to his desk. He had no idea what had happened , but the stack more than doubled in size. The paper set its gaze (eyes?) upon the aged Kage and growled once more, sounding deeper and much more animalistic.

It hopped off the desk, the floor seeming to buckle as it landed. Hiruzen set himself in a stance, preparing to fight off the beast. The paper remains fluttering around the kage swirled around the room, flying towards the final, hellish monster.

He couldn't describe what happened. One moment a tall, misshapen stack of papers stalked towards him, the next what looked like cross between a bear and a dog lunged at his throat.

Its torso, the size of the average man's, made up most of it. The creature's legs looked just like a dog's but had much more 'muscle'. On the front paws, deadly looking claws slashed through the air. The head, large and bulky, sat adorned with jagged teeth protruding from its lips and wild eyes focusing on the tired leader.

Hiruzen rolled across the room to avoid the beast. Ducking under the the paper dog's snapping jaws Sarutobi circled it warily, then swung at its legs. The dog hopped over the staff and snapped at the fingers holding it. Hiruzen hopped back out of range and quickly jumped back at it with jab. It jumped back up onto the wall, using it as a springboard, then lunged at the leader.

Hiruzen simply step sided the assault and swung back, tearing the dog in half. Hiruzen took a few deep breaths for the benefit of anyone watching; let them think he let himself go by sitting behind a desk all day and hardly ever training. With his head hung the aged leader tried to catch his breath, but a growl made him snatch his head back up.

Looking up Hiruzen, saw the paper beast reconnecting with it's other half. Strips of paper seemed to flow back together. Jagged edges melded together to form whole pages of paper that quickly reformed into paper 'bone' and the 'sinew' that held them together. Finally, the strips connected the separated halves of the dog. It growled, hopped back up and stalked towards Hiruzen.

Hiruzen nearly charged when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the door open and close. As he dodged yet another lunge he turned his head, seeing the cause of his current agony. The paper beast seized his moment of distraction, pounced on him and went for his throat, knocking the old man onto his back. Hiruzen caught its jaws in his staff, throwing the dog off him. He stood back up, turned, narrowed his eyes at Naruto and yelled, "God dammit Naruto get this thing off me!" Hiruzen whirled around and brandished his staff, "Back foul thing!"

Naruto blinked at the odd match playing out in front of him. He shook his head, smiling, and called out in a calm, collected voice, "Doggy, sit."

The beast straitened out of its stance, the typical dog look front paws splayed in front of him and front part of its torso laying on the ground, and sat at attention.

"Come here boy." The dog walked over to his creator and sat back at attention in front of him. Naruto unlatched his weapons pouch, flipped it open and placed it on the ground. "Get in." the dog complied. When the paper beast vanished into the pouch of infinite space, Hiruzen dispelled Enma.

"Naruto," He said in between gasps of breath, "Two things. One, how did you know it would listen to you."

Naruto shrugged, "I didn't."

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes, "Now, tell me why I shouldn't have you arrested for an attempt on my life."

"Because, Old Man, the seal wasn't supposed to make a Paper Beast of Doom, it was supposed to give your papers enough charka and a small spark of life just to make your day eventful. Not only that but to give you a workout, I mean look at you! You're out of breath after fighting a couple of papers. You really let yourself go! Plus, I have a really gorgeous smile." Naruto beamed at him.

As Hiruzen's hand strayed to his kunai pouch, Naruto added, "I also know that Jiraiya was the one that threw that wild party at your clan compound."

Hiruzen took out a kunai.

Sweating a little, Naruto blurted out, wondering for the umpteenth time if he went too far, "I also know the secret to doing paperwork!" That did it, in a complete reversal Hiruzen was on his knees in the classic beg stance.

Let the boy think he had some leverage over him.

"Please tell me the secret Naruto! I'll do anything! I'll drop the charges! Anything!"

Chuckling to hide his relief, Naruto said, "Well, you know about certain forbidden jutsus right? One of them is the Kage Bushin technique? How every clone of the original has the knowledge of the original and every clone that is dispelled passes on its experiences to other clones and back to the original?"

Hiruzen's eyes widened, giving Danzo's bugs a show. "That's right! The secret to doing paperwork is the ever loveable Kage Bushin technique. But before you ask, I'm still leaving the seal in place, you really do need the exercise. And I don't think you called me here to talk to me about bringing your paperwork to life."

Hiruzen slowly stood back up, saying, "Well, I think now's the time to get back to business."

"Let me guess…" Naruto sighed, "a couple of upset civilians rallied together, demanding the council have a meeting to talk about last night's mishaps and/or an incident that occurred earlier today in an attempt to understand them and/or have me trialed and executed. Am I right?"

Hiruzen nodded, "The 'Anti Demon Association' works fast." he snorted, "It's almost worrying how single-mindlessly they pursue you. They're like a cult."

"I'm flattered they devote their entire lives to me, it gives me warm feelings." Naruto said dreamily.

Hiruzen slapped him.

"And on that note, how can ten people call themselves an Association?" Naruto asked, rubbing his reddening cheek.

Sarutobi shook his head, "There's exactly one-hundred and three, just enough members for them to lobby the council. They're so annoying we're changing the requirement to two hundred. They'll never be able to lobby for anything then."

"Well you would think that after their last few failed attempts they'd learn." Naruto muttered before raising his voice theatrically. "Especially considering that no-one on either side of the council, that for some unknown reason don't think of me as the evil, blood thirsty demon I am, voted against my trial -slash- execution -slash- imprisonment every time they even mentioned my name and those words in the same sentence! But hey, many of you foolish humans are doomed to lives of being prejudiced dumb-asses! So me, the almighty demon lord Kyuubi, am not too surprised! Let's get this over with you foolish mortal! I'm about to make a break through with my new training seal and I'd like to get it finished and applied today." Naruto cackled madly for good measure. "The rivers will turn red with blood as I Slaughter Everyone Who Gets In My Way With The Almighty Cheese Grater Of Doom! You can practically hear the Capitalization! Muahahahah!"

Hiruzen coughed.

"Ah, you uh, think I overdid it a bit?" Naruto asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

The Hokage nodded.

After Naruto finished packing up his things they exited the office and made their way to the council chambers. "Naruto, how did the genin exam go by the way?" Sarutobi asked, "From the looks of things you still have your headband, so you must have passed."

"That's right, Old Man, I passed." Naruto told him, "Alas, now that I am officially a ninja I sadly must find a different hobby than pranking. Luckily I know just what to do, foolish human! Mess with people's heads even more. Your entire pathetic village, especially your foolish Anti Demon Association, will come to rue the day I became a genin!" Cue evil laugh, hand gestures and all.

Hiruzen almost pitied them, almost. The ways Naruto messed with people left many an onlooker too shocked to move, let alone think.

The pair arrived at the doors to the council chambers, the guards stood straighter and saluted as the Third Hokage passed them by and entered. Greeted by tired, annoyed sighs and warm smiles, the Council Room quickly fell silent when they saw Sarutobi.

One Hiashi Hyūga broke the uneasy silence, "Lord Hokage, forgive me for asking but… how did your face end up in its current condition?"

Naruto tried in vain to hide his smirk and handed a mirror he had in his 'weapons pouch of infinite space'. Looking into it, Hiruzen saw his forehead covered in dry, black ink.

He handed the mirror back and gave an embarrassed chuckle, "Well, you see, something occurred earlier that led to my current condition."

"And pray tell what this little incident was?" Asked one curious council member. They all knew that Naruto was somehow behind it. Before Hiruzen could give an excuse Naruto came to his rescue, sort of.

"I brought his paperwork to life to give creaky bones some exercise." A few of the council members widened their eyes in horror. "Needless to say he wasn't happy. So, to make it up to him I told him the secret to doing paperwork." At that, all the councilors' eyes widened in disbelief.

There was an awkward silence. "What you have all just heard is now an A-ranked secret by order of the Hokage." Sarutobi recited, "Punishment for discussing it will be punishable by a fine of 10,000 ryo and an all expenses paid trip to Ibiki."

One of the more intelligent civilian council members spoke up. He had brown hair, brown eyes and a cool aura. A small scar cut across his features, a remnant from an attempt on his life.

"Hold on a second, my lord. Please forgive me, but do you really expect us to believe that not only does this boy know the secret to doing paperwork, but he brought yours to life?" He queried, sounding skeptical.

"Councilor Singh," Naruto sighed, "you should know by now that doubting my abilities with seals is foolish. I developed an incendiary tag, freezing tag, shock tag, sealed Anko's curse seal, am currently working on something that will get rid of it permanently, and made a seal that makes paper resistant to water, granted all with a little help from Jiraiya. Do you really think that bringing paper to life is beyond what I can do?"

Singh shook his head, "You never said seals were involved, but even then that's stretching my belief in your abilities."

Naruto sighed, reaching into his weapons pouch and making many of the civilians tense up. They had many... experiences with the boy and his toys.

Not finding it right away, Naruto unlatched it, brought it out in front of him and dived his arm in deeper, up to his shoulder. Hiruzen just took a seat in his chair, a high-backed, regal seat.

Naruto let out an exclamation of victory, making a couple councilors jump. He withdrew his clasped hand. Impatient and tired from having spent long hours seeing to things last night, Singh snapped, "Well? What is it you have that is supposed to prove to us all that you're able to bring paper to life?"

Naruto opened his hand. A small paper dragon fly rested on his open palm. It flapping its wings, it flew around the room before landing in front of Singh. In a flash it reformed into a dog shape.

"As you can see, I can bring paper to life." Naruto informed the council, "Not only is it alive, but it can change shape." The paper dog growled at Singh, who regarded the beast as he would a houseplant.

"I don't know if it's capable of rational thought. So, just to be safe, I wouldn't anger it." Naruto added as an afterthought. The dog paused, turning to him and making a series of barks. It turned its attention back to Singh, who busied himself by flipping through a file, making thoughtful noises and watching Naruto.

Everyone turned to their gaze to the Inuzuka clan head, Tsume Inuzuka. Understanding the unsaid question at once, she said, rolling her eyes, "The fake mutt said, 'I'm not stupid. I understand everything you humans say perfectly. I want you to stop talking about me as if I'm an item.' Word for word."

"Thanks, Tsume. Now, back to business. Why was a council meeting called?" Hiruzen asked, already knowing the answer. Before anyone else said anything, though, councilor Singh once again interrupted.

"Can someone please get this thing away from me?"

Everyone saw the paper dog licking his jaws and staring at him hungrily, whereas Singh stared it down. "Why does this beast want to eat me?" he asked, not looking away. Another series of barks.

Tsume once again translated, "'Because you smell like bacon. I love bacon, I can't get enough of it. Though it's not as good as people'." she paused, "I'm not sure if it's joking or not."

Just as it hunched down to jump at its target, Naruto said, straight-faced, "Dog, get back here and stop trying to eat people, you can do that later."

The paper shape shifter growled, then jumped off the desk and trotted back to his master's side. Naruto cleared his throat, "Can we please get this over with? I have shit to do. Why am I here?"

The Nara clan head Shikaku Nara spoke up in a tired voice, "Because the troublesome ADA say that, since Naruto stole the forbidden scroll, he committed treason and should be put on trial. They also said you wrongfully attacked one of their members and put him in the hospital. Since they have just enough members, we said yes just to get them to shut the hell up. We all know those are lies, so there's no chance that you'll will be convicted. Like the troublesome blonde over there said 'let's get this over with', we _all _have shit to do."

The scribe in the corner, hunched over his notes with his black mop of hair obscuring his face, jotted down everything Shikaku said, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. He loved this post.

Hiruzen sighed, "Fine, let Naruto Uzumaki's trial commence. Naruto you're accused of treason for aiding the deceased traitor, Mizuki, steal the forbidden scroll. Another charge of attempted murder of an 'innocent' civilian has also been brought up. How do you plead?"

One of the civilian councilors blurted out, "Why the hell are we even doing this?" she demanded, light blonde hair whipping around as she waved an angry hand, "It's not like we're ever going to let these charges pass! Those idiots just think that, because the Kyuubi is locked inside of him, he's the next-" she cut off, just realizing what she said.

"You're lucky everyone in here knows that the fox is sealed inside of me." Naruto said dryly, coming to her rescue, "One slip of tongue near someone that doesn't know and off with your head!" he added, making a very enthusiastic slicing motion.

Hiruzen sighed yet again, "Everyone in here knows that he holds the Kyuubi so no-one broke the law. Let's also not forget that there is a part of that same law that lets him tells anyone he wants about that little detail. Naruto," he asked, getting back to business, "how do you plead against the earlier charges?"

"Not guilty." While everyone else preoccupied themselves, Naruto took out his favorite couch, a bag of popcorn and a can of soda.

Singh raised a hand, "Can you pass one of those over here?"

Naruto tossed him a can.

"Thanks."

"For what reasons do you plead?" Sarutobi asked, bored and completely ignoring the byplay.

Naruto scratched the paper dog's head, which sat on the couch next to him, eating from the popcorn bag. "About Mizuki, I knew right away that he wanted me to steal the scroll, and that it wasn't a test. I stole it because I was just following the orders of a superior, and because I needed real proof he was a traitor. As soon as he proved it, and in front of Iruka, I executed him for treason, acting in the name of the village and protecting it from harm."

Singh cleared his throat, shuffling though a file, "What about the incident regarding the civilian? It says here, in the witness account section, that he..." Singh furled his eyebrows, "he slipped and fell, breaking his leg."

Rubbing his temples, he asked no-one in particular, "I swear, isn't all that blind hate some sort of mental disorder? Remind me why we can't have all the 'Anti-Demon Association' members thrown in an asylum where they belong."

"Law 850, addendum 2B." the councilor next to him recited, " 'All active shinobi are allowed no more than four obsessions, retired shinobi are allowed three, and civilians are allowed one'."

Singh sighed, "At least we got one locked away."

"The one that collected coins too?" Naruto asked.

"I think paying ten-million for a single coin counts as being obsessed.", Inochi Yamanaka said, speaking up for the first time, "Trust me, I'm a psychiatrist."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, "but didn't he also have so much money he gave bags of it away to anyone within ten feet of him?"

Singh gave him a look, "Are you saying you want someone who's convinced you're Kyuubi incarnate and going to destroy the village -who has enough resources to buy a small nation I might add- out and about?"

The blonde grunted, "Point."

Singh tossed the file to the side, "All in favor of dismissing the Assault charge?" A chorus of 'Aye' answered him.

The scribe in the corner scribbled everything down.

"All in favor of putting the civilian..." Singh paused, "what's his name again?"

He only got shrugs in response.

Singh sighed, continuing, "All in favor of putting him on trial for attempted murder?"

"Attempted murder?" asked a councilor.

"It was in the file." Singh said, frowning, "He had a knife on him. How do you think his leg broke, he tr- wait! Are you telling me you haven't read the file?" he demanded angrily.

The councilor nodded, "The ADA is involved, do you really think I'm going to take this seriously?"

Exasperated sigh, "I think you might have a point there." Singh grumbled, "All in favor?" another chorus of 'Aye'.

"What?" Naruto asked, blinking innocently, "Not going to ask me any other questions? Don't we have another half an hour before this 'trial' is scheduled to finish?"

Hiashi turned to him, "How did you know that?" he asked so stoically it sounded like a statement.

"I have my ways." Naruto commented vaguely.

"Fine," Inochi Yamanaka spoke up, "How did you kill Mizuki? From what I read from the reports he fought back and you were the only one to fight him."

"Sorry I can't tell you." Naruto said mechanically, "It's an S-ranked secret that I don't feel like telling a few of you."

Singh grunted, "Can't say I like it, but there it is. Hey, Toru." he said, addressing the scribe, "What novel have you cooked up for us today?"

Toru raised a finger, asking for a moment longer, before finishing, taking the entire stack of paper, at least an inch thick, and binding it together.

"It's quite nice if I do say so myself." he said, smiling, "You passionately defended Naruto against the unjust and malevolent charges brought up against him, Lord Hyūga sided with the ADA and attempted in vain to have Naruto imprisoned for the same charges, his ulterior motive to punish Naruto for deflowering his daughters, Lord Hokage found a spy hiding in the council chamber walls and killed him with a soup ladle conveniently located in his sleeve, the paper dog thing turned into a giant tentacle monster and had it's way with Madame Inuzuka, and the faithful scribe forgot to pick up his dry cleaning."

Silence.

"...What was that about my daughters?" Hiashi demanded, eyes narrowing.

"I'm going to say nothing for my own safety." Naruto muttered loudly.

Hiashi glared at him.

"What?"

"I'm kidding Lord Hyūga, it's actually just more about the book I'm working on." Toru said, trying to calm him down.

"The one about evil dolphins trying to take over the world?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Yes." Toru nodded.

Silence.

"Evil dolphins?" Tsume muttered.

"Weren't you supposed to keep a record of the trial?" Hiruzen asked.

Toru nodded, "I did my lord. It's this pile right here." he jumped up and walked over to Sarutobi's chair, handing him the record.

One of the civilian councilors stood up, stretching, "As fun as this is, I think we can go now. We have a really important trade negotiation coming up we need to research about."

Hiruzen nodded, "Yes, the civilian side is dismissed. The ninja side needs stay and discuss something."

All the civilians thanked him, stood up and left. Singh called over his shoulder, "I hope you all have fun being locked in there longer.", on that note, the door slammed shut behind him.

"And now I tell the Ninja council." Naruto said theatrically.

"You sure about this Naruto?" Hiruzen asked, "It's not too late to change your mind. You can leave now if you want."

"Yes, Old Man." the boy grumbled, "We went over this before and had it planned for years. They're going to find our eventually, so why wait?"

Hiruzen nodded, agreeing. "The floor is yours."

"Right," Naruto said, standing and lacing his hands together, "What do you all know about telekinesis, telepathy, subliminal messages and mind reading?"

**A.N. **

_**Edited: 6-23-11**_

**I originally was going to have the entire council meeting in this chapter but as you can see I got sidetracked. **

**Also, If you want to use some of my ideas for seals just place a review or message stating that you do. Other than that, all I ask for is a special mention and a link to my profile.**

**And finally, please review. **


	5. And We're Talking

**Chapter 5, And We're Talking… And We're Talking.**

**Disclaimer; If I owned Naruto then Zabuza wouldn't have died in three episodes.**

Silence dominated the Council Chambers. Whatever the ninja council expected, what Naruto said left them a little confused. Even Hiruzen sat silent, giving the boy a show. All took a few minutes to absorb what the boy had said, except for Danzo, while the boy enjoyed the looks on their faces.

Naruto didn't know why, but surprising others and leaving them dumbstruck made him feel so giddy on the inside.

The Akimichi clan head, Chōza, broke the silence, "What?" He learned a while ago to take some things the boy said seriously.

_Flashback:_

A while ago, an Akimichi died on a mission because a tough fight forced him to use the red pill. As in the aftermath of every similar death, Chōza hunted for someone that had the skills and knowledge to change that problem. As usual, he came up empty.

But this time, when the mission report came back, the Hokage called a meeting with Chōza. Confused, he met with Hiruzen as ordered, but when the Hokage told him that he knew someone that could eliminate the pill's side effects it quickly cleared up.

Chōza agreed instantly. He had everything to gain and nothing to lose. Even if a spy somehow stole the recipe, despite its status as the clan's most well kept secret, it would do them little good. The pills turned fat into Chakra. The first alone would kill the average weight human, and most ninja wouldn't sacrifice stamina just to beef up.

The Hokage called in the expert, Chōza donning a surprised expression when a nine year old child walked in.

Chōza growled, "Get out kid. We have important business to discuss and you can't just barge in. Where's the expert lord Hokage?"

Hiruzen chuckled, whereas the boy growled and said, "I'm the expert, Big Guy."

Chōza looked at him dubiously, raising an eyebrow, "You? Very funny, boy, but we don't have time for fun and games."

The boy sighed, then Hiruzen spoke up, "Naruto _is_ the expert, Chōza. Despite his age, he came up with several new seals and is very skilled in medicine. I believe that, in the coming months, you'll find that his abilities are far more then adequate." All harmless white lies.

Jiraiya helped a lot.

Naruto shook his head in disbelief, "Seriously!" he squealed, "After having about one-thousand, three hundred sixty-three council meeting called because of my exploits, twenty-six of which were a result of my little escapade when I infiltrated the ANBU headquarters and seasoned all the toilet paper with itching powder, that some people would not underestimate me." he said vehemently, "But nooooooo! Because I'm nine it's obvious that that I'm not worth paying attention to!"

Chōza blinked in confusion.

Naruto paused, "That's actually kind of good though. If someone gives me all kinds of baby talk I can just put a knife through their head, if they're an enemy of course."

Noticing Chōza's look, Naruto said off-handedly. "Oh yeah! You were sick that month. Well, take me to your compound so I can get the appropriate ingredients, info and samples. At least I have a new project to work on in my free time."

Chōza nodded his head very, very slowly, "Riiiight."

And so Chōza escorted Naruto to his clan compound.. As soon as Naruto laid his eyes on the three pills he said "I already know what the problem is."

Chōza looked at him, clearly unbelieving. "Well, _boy_, what is it?" he snapped.

Naruto looked up at him with his big, blue eyes. He blinked at Chōza innocently, took a small, blue capsule out of... somewhere... and said in a timid voice, "You don't have the blue pill?"

Chōza scowled at him. "This is a serious matter boy! Now act seriously, or I'll just throw you out." Yes, he knew he sounded like an asshole. He just didn't care at the moment.

Naruto shrugged indifferently, "Sorry, but I just couldn't resist." He popped the pill into his mouth and said slowly. "Mmmmmm, blueberry. Okay!" He clapped his hands together.

"I'm going to need the list of ingredients of what goes into what pill. It should take me two weeks to isolate the ingredient or ingredients that result in the pills becoming toxic." Chōza blinked, thinking for the first time the this kid could pull it off.

Amazing what a couple of big words could do.

Naruto, meanwhile, continued on, "Once that's done, it should take about six weeks to come up with the improved formula."

Naruto smiled, "Hell, I'll even make them taste great free of charge!"

True to his word, two months later Naruto developed the new formula. Only experimental, they'd only test it in field conditions when the situation demanded it. When asked about his payment, Naruto said "Fifty-thousand ryo, and something else…" From that day on, the pills would be green, red, and blue.

Naruto had no idea that Sarutobi only got him involved as one of many tests. The Hokage didn't think the boy would actually manage it.

But Naruto never told anybody how he came up with the new formula. Chōza didn't know that, during an excursion with Kakashi, Naruto got a hold of some... inspirational drinks. Long story short, one night of drunken experimentation later, he came up with the new formula.

He wrote it all down, luckily. When Naruto woke up, he couldn't remember anything that happened the night before, especially how all those baby squirrels got into his room. When Kakashi made his report, Sarutobi made sure he knew he didn't like that.

Naruto getting stumbling drunk, not the squirrels.

_End Flashback:_

"You heard me." Naruto said cheerfully, "My bloodline lets me manipulate objects with my mind, talk to others via mental link, leave subliminal messages in a person's mind, and read minds. Cool isn't it?" Everyone looked gob smacked, except for Hiashi- bastard- and most actually meant it.

Meaning Inoichi already knew.

Hiruzen sighed, "Naruto, tell me why you said you could only toss things around." Got to keep up appearances after all.

Naruto gave him a look, one that darkened for a moment, "I was capable of reading minds a week before the incident." he said, saying it quietly and evenly, "Those other parts of my bloodline came later. When they did, I was going to tell you, but with the behavior you showed at the time I thought you were a spy, so I didn't say anything. Since then I suppose it slipped my mind." lying smoothly, his voice regained it's usual tone.

Everyone that was in the council chambers knew little to nothing slipped his mind. "Naruto can you tell me the exact time those other abilities surfaced?" Hiruzen asked, letting it slide this time, "And when you thought I was a spy?"

Naruto's face and voice darkened once more, eyes betraying nothing, "Telepathy and subliminal messaging came during the incident. I made an appointment with you months after they appeared, when I noticed them, but- again- I didn't tell you then because you were acting very strangely."

"When you were seven?" seeing Naruto nod, Hiruzen continued. "I have a perfectly good reason why I was acting like that." Then he deadpanned, "You replaced my tobacco with pot."

"And you were unable to notice the difference." Naruto retorted, taking a sip from his soda.

"As fascinating as all this is, we were talking about young Naruto's bloodline." Interrupted Hiashi. He had nothing against him, other than his eccentric behavior. He actually owed him a few favors.

_Flashback:_

"Alright, boy." Hiashi grumbled, "Lord Hokage says you're a genius, so what I'm asking you should be easy."

"So what is it? Do you want me to help you come up with new clan techniques? Or do you want me to come up with a new seal as an alternative to the caged bird?" queried the ten-year old boy.

Hiashi made a mental note, "No. It concerns that future of my clan."

"Both do concern the future." Naruto retorted, "So what do you need my thoughts on?"

"My daughters." Hiashi replied, thinking _'I'm so going to win this bet.'_

"I think that Hinata is very cute, she would look very good in just about anything. As for your other daughter, Hanabi right? I'll wait until she's older before I give my opinion." Naruto said seriously.

Hiashi coldly growled, "That wasn't what I meant. boy."

_'Yep, going to win this bet.'_ he repeated.

"I'm starting to doubt the Hokage's words." Hiashi continued, "The Hyuuga Elders say that Hinata is too weak to become clan head, and that I should place the caged bird seal on her and put her in the branch house, but I'd rather avoid that. My younger daughter Hanabi would become clan head in her place."

"Why do they think that Hinata is weak?" Naruto asked, raising his voice a little, "From what I saw at the academy, she's much better then _all_ the other girls when it comes to practical skills." _'Though that's not saying much.'_ he added mentally.

"Because, she continues loosing spars with a branch member and her younger sister." Hiashi countered, "She's yet to win a single match. I don't want any of my daughters given the caged bird."

"Would it be possible for me to sit in on a spar? For me to give the best advice on your problem I need to see her in action." Naruto commented.

"Of course." Hiashi countered, "Hinata has a sparring session in a few minutes, follow me. If we hurry we can get there before it begins." He led Naruto out of his office and to a nearby sparring room.

Inside, Hinata and Hanabi faced each other, standing on opposite sides of the dojo. They both stood in the typical gentle fist stance. At a signal from the Main Branch member overseeing the fight, the two charged.

Hiashi already knew why Hinata had trouble, and how to fix it, but he had a horrible addiction.

Gambling.

And so he made a bet.

But, unlike Tsunade, he either had amazing luck or a god on his side. Once, he risked the entire clan compound on a game of cards. Minutes later he cleared everyone else out. Another time he gambled the secrets of the Byakugan, something that put him on thin ice with the Elder Council for months. Luckily, winning the largest shampoo empire in the Elemental Nations five months later made up for it.

In fact, his constant gambling made the Hyūga rich.

As Naruto watched the fight, he noticed several things: one, for her age, Hanabi seemed to be very skilled. Two, Hinata seemed hesitant to hurt her younger sister. Three, several times Naruto saw a few holes in Hanabi's stance, wasn't that hard for a kid with certain memories locked in his head. Four, Naruto knew that Hinata saw them, her eyes lingered on the openings but she never took advantage of them. And five, she held back but, her movements didn't look as fluid as her younger counterpart's, they looked forced. As if the form Hinata used didn't fit her.

The match lasted fifteen minutes. Hanabi eventually defeated her older sister, Hinata getting distracted when she noticed Naruto. After the match Naruto and Hiashi went back to his office, where they discussed the fight.

"So," Naruto started, settling down in the cushioned chair in front of Hiashi's desk, "I know what's wrong."

In an amazing show of emotion, Hiashi blinked. "Do you?"

Naruto nodded, "Hinata doesn't want to hurt her younger sister so she's holding back, and she's forcing her movements. I don't think her current form suits her."

On the outside, Hiashi stared at Naruto for a long moment, making the boy shuffle uncomfortably, before flashing him a smile.

On the inside, however, he screamed and raged, going something like, _'Son of a fucking bitch! I've never lost a bet before! Damn you brat! I'm going to rip your-'_

Luckily, before he acted on it, he managed to calm down, that unsettling smile never wavering.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Uzumaki." Hiashi said crisply, "I'll arrange for a thank you sum to be sent to your account. Now if you'll excuse me, I have very important matters to attend to."

Naruto shot up, and without turning back, hurriedly walked out the door.

Once the door slammed shut, Hiashi braced himself for the incoming storm. Pressing a button on the intercom, he said to the person on the other side, "Please send the deeds for all property of the Hyūga Hair Care Corporation to Chōza Akimichi."

Stunned silence, "Sir?" the man on the other side squeaked, "Wha-wha?"

Hiashi sighed, the elders would never forgive him. "You heard me, it's now the property of the Akimichi Clan."

He won it back three days later in a game of pool.

_Flashback End:_

Hinata eventually connected her father's new behavior; helping her more often when she had trouble, to Naruto a month later. Not too difficult since she saw them watching her match. Since then, she had been more then a little shy around him.

"Thank you for reminding us Hiashi." Hiruzen responded, nodding to Naruto.

"First off is telekinesis," he started, "but it's really a little more complicated than that. I can manipulate kinetic energy. Sure, I can lift things with my mind," two coffee mugs started to float around the room, "but I can also break things," a loud crack echoed, the once whole mug shattering into several pieces, all still suspended in midair, "and even better I can make objects implode on themselves." more cracks, one mug piece getting smaller, before compressing into a marble sized glass ball.

"This ability is the foundation of my bloodline." all the mug pieces fell to the ground.

"Combined with that, I can stop a person with genin or lower chakra reserves in their tracks, and can, to some extent, slow down a ninja with chunin or higher reserves just enough to make a difference." Naruto continued. "Next up is my ability to talk to others through a mental link. I usually do this to help others with difficult decisions or to make others think harder."

With every word Naruto said, Danzo saw wasted potential. "And next is one of my favorites, leaving subliminal messages in a person's mind. Animals I can easily bend to my will and get responses right away. With people I have to constantly whisper in the back of the person's mind until he gets them to do what I want them to do. If my target is a decently trained ninja they could overcome the impulses easily unless they were very tired or near death. With civilians it was much more easily done but is still pretty difficult, but despite those issues it is one of my favorite skills."

The ninja sat silently, Inoichi picking the dirt out from underneath his nails with a kunai. "And finally I can read minds. I can enter a meditative state and probe a person's mind. I say probe because as soon as I exit my target's mind they suffer a severe head-ache. I can see and hear everything around me, emotions are colors, thoughts are yells, and instincts are primal."

The ninja sat, silent, while they absorbed the last of Naruto's revelation. Inoichi recovered first, considering he already knew this. "Why the hell is this boy a genin?"

Naruto answered, "Because I chose to be a genin. I don't want to be given my rank, I want to earn it. Besides, don't you think that, despite my intelligence, if I was given command of a mission in which my squad-mates were older then myself they would have some trouble with not questioning me?"

Everyone rolled their eyes at that question. "Okay I get that," Tsume retorted, "but why are you on my son's team? I thought it was supposed to be a tracking team?"

"Because I told the old man something. It doesn't do a team good if they can find their enemy but can't defeat them. Likewise with Team Seven, they're a combat team, but it won't do them any good if they can't find their enemy will it? With me on Team Eight we solve that problem and at the same time we become the most versatile team there is."

Naruto pulled out a kunai and a flask of liquid. "With me and my bloodline we can be a tracking team, assault team, an assassination team and even a medic team." The kunai started to float above Naruto's outstretched palm. "Tracking, right now I am working on a technique that will let me enter a state of awareness and let me sense the basic thoughts of those around me. It's slow going, but with certain people in the village, it's a great place to perfect it."

The ninja winced at the subtle jab. "Assault, Hinata and Kiba come from a clan that are excellent trackers, but at the same time use taijutsu. I know that Hinata has some trouble with fighting but she can work her way around it, besides when it comes to practical skills she's the best Kunochi in our class. Combined with his partner Kiba can become a force on the battlefield if he works at it. And with my three year training with Gai," The council widened their eyes in shock, everyone knew his training methods, "I can help them out with their respective styles. If the other two work well enough on their training we will be the strongest at taijutsu out of this year's rookie team."

"Assassination, I don't know about the other two's stealth capabilities but I can assume that they are rather skilled. With Hinata's Byakugan, Kiba's nose and my senses we should be able to infiltrate a guarded area and easily dispatch our target. And if that won't work," The kunai spun around and aimed itself at Hiruzen. "we can always take our target out at a distance." It speed towards the aged Kage faster than most ninja could throw, stopping just an inch from his eye.

Hiruzen didn't even blink.

"One hundred percent accuracy all the time." Naruto continued.

_'It's almost scary,' _Hiruzen mused _'How easily he can sell himself and inflate his skills. One hundred percent accuracy? Only if the target is in range of his powers.'_

No-one besides Hiruzen knew his power's limitations, so the display impressed them. "And finally medical, I know that my sensei knows some medical jutsu, so I know she'll find some time to teach us about it." The kunai floated back towards Naruto's outstretched hand, he in turn pocketed it. "I think Hinata will pick it up right away. I might not be able to perform delicate operations, but with this," Naruto waved around the flask, making the liquid slosh around. "I can bring people back from the brink of death with but a mouthful."

"That's a very bold proclamation. How are you so sure of that?" Hiashi retorted casually.

"This potion is made out of the most potent healing herbs I can buy." Naruto responded, tapping the vial, "I cover them with seals to enhance potency then let them ferment. A year later, I distill the concoction to get rid of any impurities then water it down just a little, resulting in a 'miracle potion' as one doctor called it. And as for how I'm so sure of it, I tested it several times at hospitals around the city, on people that would otherwise be dead today. And before you ask, it's not as well know as it could be because certain people would raise hell about the 'Demon boy' giving out odd looking fluids. The only ones that know about this little drink are the head doctors."

"How much of it do you make?" Shikaku lazily queried.

"Oh,I make a flask yearly." Naruto commented, shrugging, "The only reasons I don't have a swimming pool of the stuff is; one, it's the most expensive thing I make, so if I want to keep eating, I can't make anymore than a cup full at a time. Two, it takes a year to make. And three, I have to keep a close eye on it during that year, add in more herbs and flavoring to make it more potent, and so the person drinking it won't hack it up, to make more than one batch every year."

"That's a shame," Shikaku said in his usual lazy tone, "I'd like some miracle potion to drink after wife gets troublesome."

Eying the lazy man for a moment, Naruto said loudly, "I know why you two have trouble." that got his attention, "Your wife is so... 'troublesome'... because she's never satisfied, if you know what I mean."

Silence, then everyone burst out laughing. "Oh that's great! A boy giving my old teammate advice on his sex life." Inoichi chuckled.

"Too bad I won't follow it." Shikaku mumbled lazily, "Too troublesome."

"Catch." Naruto yelled, tossing him a small, brown bag.

Shikaku caught it without looking, turning and giving it a lazy glare. "And what would this be." so even and lazy, it didn't even sound like a question.

"It's an aphrodisiac." Naruto replied lazily, leaning back in his chair, "Not only will it give you strong sexual drives, but it will make you energetic enough to satisfy your wife." incredulous stares assaulted the boy.

"Naruto, why do you have that in your bag?" Hiruzen asked evenly, the ever responsible adult.

"Simple." Naruto retorted, taking one last sip from his soda, "If treated right, that plant can become a very potent anesthetic." nobody noticed Shikaku pocket the bag.

"Of course, boy." Danzo muttered from his dark corner, before raising his voice, "I'm sure I'm voicing a question that has been on everyone's mind, what is this 'incident' you keep talking about?" everyone turned towards him, "If it has had such a big impact on you as I think so, it must be a matter of great importance."

Naruto fixed him with a cold glare, the empty soda can crushed in his hand, "It's none of your business, Danzo. All you need to know is that it will never happen again." As Naruto spoke, black lines started appearing all over his skin. They ran all over him, circling his eyes, ears, mouth, and hands.

"I made sure of that." Naruto snarled.

Not waiting for a dismissal, Naruto jumped up and walked out of the council chambers, the lines on his skin fading away as he did so. Silence reigned after the door slammed shut.

"What was that?" Chōza demanded, "Why'd he just walk out?" Naruto had never done such a thing.

Hiruzen sighed, _'Damnit, Naruto. Now you just peaked their curiosity.'_

"The Konohan fire." he announced.

Hiruzen didn't need to say anymore.

**Not too many laughs this chapter, and for that reason OMAKE!**

**How Naruto ended up as Lee's 'Eternal Rival'.**

Naruto had been Maito Gai's protégé for two years. In those two years, he had learned several forms of Taijutsu, his muscles growing very strong thanks to the psychotic training régime and his gravity seals. About a week ago, Gai took on a very promising genin team and asked Naruto to meet with them. Naruto complied, of course.

As Naruto stepped foot onto the training grounds, he examined the training genin. The single girl on the team had her hair in a bun and stood, tossing weapons at a target. The boy that had white eyes practiced what looked to be a very precise taijutsu style. While the last member of the team looked like a mini-Gai , doing sit-ups at a furious pace.

Gai turned his prideful gaze from his students towards the newcomer. "Yosh!" he yelled, jumping for emphasis.

Emphasis!

"My most youthful students, I want to introduce you to my youthful apprentice! Naruto meet my youthful students!" the green man did a 'Nice Gai' pose.

The mini-Gai popped up from his sit-ups and bounded over to the newcomer. "YOSH! It's most youthful to meet Gai-Sensei's apprentice! I've heard so much about you from the wonderful and amazing Gai-Sensei, one day I will surpass you!" he then started to shake Naruto's hand very enthusiastically, forcing the boy's whole shoulder to move along with it or get disconnected.

The girl straightened up from her training, putting her hands to her mouth to keep herself from laughing.

"My name's Tenten," she said, once she beat it back, "the boy you already meet and who's trying to pull your arm off is Lee. The guy standing over there and who's still training is Neji." at that, Naruto expected said boy to respond 'Hn' but instead he just continued to train, oblivious to everyone and everything.

Having already known that he wouldn't like the boy, Naruto said, "Nice to meet you Tenten, Lee, Neji."

Thankfully, Lee chose that moment to let go of Naruto's hand.

His whole arm kept going, though.

Lee and Tenten blinked.

After a quick look at the three Naruto said, "Tenten, you're training extensively with weapons because you hope to become a weapons master. Neji, you're training in the 'Gentle fist' style, and from what I can see right, now you are very good at it. And Lee, since you wear bandages on your hands and look like a mini-Gai, I can tell that you want to be a Taijutsu master."

Silence.

"How did you know all that?" Tenten asked.

Naruto shrugged, "Oh, I have my ways." he commented vaguely.

Gai helped a lot.

"Tenten," he continued, "I can tell that, while you are very skilled in weapons, Lee and Neji could beat you in a fight, you're the third in this group when it comes to potential. And given what I can see about you three that's high praise. Neji, you're very proficient in the Hyuuga's taijutsu style and I can tell from the poise in your body that you also know several of their higher ranking jutsu. When it comes to potential, you place second. Lee, with what I heard about you from Gai, you work the hardest out of these three and have already tripled your strenght, speed, and stamina in the time you've been Gai's student, thus, you place first in potential."

Before Neji could open his mouth, Naruto again spoke up, "Lee, I have a very important question... How can you make those fuzzy caterpillars stay still for long?"

Lee blinked.

"Come on Lee! Tell me!" Naruto repeated excitedly.

Lee cleared his throat, saying, "Naruto these aren't caterpillars, they are my eyebrows. What can you tell me about yourself?"

Naruto made a thoughtful noise, fingering his chin. "I'll let Gai tell you himself." he concluded, "I mean, look at him! He's bouncing around in excitement." Naruto pointed to Gai and sure enough, he stood, fidgeting around, anxious to gloat- I mean- tell his 'youthful' students about 'Naruto's flames of youth'.

"Lee," Gai started solemnly, "I have taught him for two years, and in those two years he showed me that his flames of youth are unsurpassed. He memorizes everything I teach to him in a heartbeat, training to exhaustion every day to master it. He does the exact same training as me without complaint. He's a hard-working genius, Lee... BUT I WANT YOU TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN BE JUST AS SKILLED THROUGH HARD WORK ALONE, LEE!"

"Yes Gai-sensei!" Lee blubbered, tears leaking from his eyes, "I'll do as you ask! I can't ask for a better teacher!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

Gai stopped in mid-step, giving Lee a strange look.

"Gai-sensei, what's wrong?" Lee asked, tears still leaking from his eyes.

"Lee I don't know how to say this, but, your youthful eyebrows are missing!" Gai shouted, whirling his arms around for emphasis.

Emphasis!

"Gai-sensei what do you-" Lee started, before Naruto shoved a mirror in front of him.

He had no eyebrows, "SENSEI WHAT DO I DO?" Lee yelled, grabbing at his eyes.

Gai shook his head solemnly, saying, "Lee, you'll just have to wait until they grow back."

"These are very warm." Everyone turned to Naruto, almost falling over from the sheer absurdity of what they saw.

Naruto had Lee's eyebrows taped over his eyes. Not above them, not even below them.

Right on them.

"Wow!" Naruto commented enthusiastically, "If it snows in Konoha then I won't need to wear a hat will I?"

Lee opened his mouth, then closed it. He opened his mouth again, then closed it again, staring at the boy in front of him.

Lee took another stab at talking, "Naruto…" he squeaked out, "How did you take my eyebrows?"

"Trade secret." Naruto commented vaguely, "Now, if you don't mind, I will be going." Naruto took a step, Lee jumping in front of him.

"Naruto, can I have my eyebrows back?" Lee queried.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because they're soooo warm and fuzzy!" Naruto dreamily responded, rubbing them fondly, "I can see why you like them so much."

Lee couldn't argue with that logic, but he still didn't like it.

"….Naruto, if you don't give me my eyebrows back, then I will fight you." he challenged.

Naruto gave him as hard look as he could muster, eyebrows still covering his eyes, saying seriously, "Very well Lee... may the best man win."

Naruto jumped back, reaching into his weapons pouch. Startled by the sudden move, Lee ran after him.

As the green wonder approached Naruto yelled, face dead serious, "PADLE-FU!" Lee's eyes once again betrayed his confusion quickly replaced by something else when a kayak paddle hit him square in the face.

Lee bounced across the ground, kicking up puffs of dust, and came to a stop. He shakily got back to his feet, Naruto laughing psychotically, "Hahahahahahah! It seems that I will keep your eyebrows Lee. Don't be so foolish as to stand in my way when I want something. Better luck next time!"

Point made, Naruto turned to talk with Tenten about something or another.

Lee grumbled, punching the dirt, and yelled passionately, "Naruto! One day I will defeat you! I swear it!"

"Lee you will beat him someday! I believe in you!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"THE SPORKS ARE ATTACKING! THE SPORKS ARE ATTACKING! HIDE THE CHANDILERS!"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"What?"

**A.N.**

**Edited: 7-9-11**

**Please tell me what you think.**


	6. What the

**Chapter 6, What The Hell am I Going to Call You?**

**You know… I had originally planned for Naruto to be emotionally dead, but I changed it at the last minute. From all the feedback all I have to say is that I'm GLAD that I changed my mind.**

**COMMENCE REVIEWER RESPONSE!**

**1 Lighningblade49; I'm not about to kill off Danzo… yet. And just a warning he will be a few screws loose in this story.**

**2 The Epitome of Eccentricity; Sure, you can beta me. BUT ONLY IF YOU KEEP ON REVIEWING!**

**3 MartinDeShade; SHHHH! You'll find out why Naruto told him ****SOME**** of his secrets. And besides, it not like there is a way that Danzo can disable Naruto's bloodline, in Konoha Naruto will always have ammo. Whether it's kunai, trees, shuriken, Kiba's underwear, boulders, senbon, houses, Konohamaru, mailboxes, dumpsters, his bag of endless popcorn, cookie jars, fire breathing ladybugs, bean dip, salsa, sushi, a holy log, glass, carts, bananas, Tora, rocks, puppet parts, random civvies, watermelons, clones, a unicycle, pies, sword fishes, brooms, Kisame's razor, random foreign dignitaries, Moegi, whirlwind shuriken, trashcans, masks, exploding model cows, cookies, footballs, rugs, his paper beast, tables, staples, nails, wood, buckets, shoes, his own underwear, Zabuza's sword, carrots, Sarutobi's pot pipe, sunglasses, TV's, Viagra pills, swords, toothpicks, real cows, pigs, barns, computers, fat people, Gato, gaiters, guitars, pimps, weights, dumbbells, SpongeBob, lumpy milk, pencils, grain silos, eggs, rubber gloves, Akamaru, liter boxes, Shino's drug dealer outfit, hot sauce, an anal probe, napkins, couches, staplers, chicken, civilian council members, staves, hot dogs, Choji, Mexican jumping beans, wrecking balls, panties or a rubber ducky Naruto will never run out of stuff to throw. (So many strange ways for a person to die!)**

**4 Anonymous reviewer 'b'; I can't understand either why some people get that law wrong. **

**5 ****THIRD FANG!;**** -says in a brainwashed fashion- All hail the log. All hail the chandeliers. All hail randomness. **

**6 VanillaIce1; Yes, something very dark happened with the 'incident'. So much so it has a very noticeable effect on Naruto whenever it's even mentioned. **

**7 Hypnotic Flames; I know I'm not the only one that takes AP, but it's going to be very difficult. **

**8 Dakars revolution; Ohhhh! What your review said made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside… does that sound weird?**

**9 Dia-chan93; See the above response.**

**10 Selonianth Shinjitsu (I hope I spelled that right.); GASP! Who told you such lies? I am not high on catnip! –Eyes shift back and forth in a suspicious manner.-**

**Just a side note; this is not a bash-fic. People WILL get messed with in a variety of strange ways but their overall personality is the same as canon. Except for Naruto and whomever he breaks.**

**And in case anyone reading this is wondering what Naruto's seals/tattoos look like, look up on Google images 'Maori Warrior Tattoos'. They look a lot like that but a little thinner and all over his body.**

**Disclaimer; If I owned Naruto there would be so much log worshiping going on. And I don't own Third Fang's 'Yet Again with a Little Extra Help' either. (Fifty dollars says that he'll write over one-million words.)**

The halls of the Hokage tower echoed with the sounds of Naruto's angry footsteps. What right did Danzo have to ask about such stuff? What right did he have to even be in the council chambers? Damn cripple…

Naruto threw the double doors open, and like a flood, all the noises the village made came rushing in. The enraged boy stormed out of the Hokage's tower in a barely contained fury. Behind him the ANBU, visible and not, heard the loud sounds of everyday life, work and commerce before the door was slammed shut by a powerful force that blew out the reinforced windows with the sheer amount of energy behind it. The loud noise of shattering glass briefly drowned out the village sounds, before they came back a little more subdued.

Outside, Naruto stood in the middle of the street. Few of the surrounding villagers paid any attention to him; most of them were gazing at the Hokage tower double doors in confusion. It was for that reason they missed the sight of his body covered in an artistic, tattoo like seal of which portions of the black ink briefly glow a tannish-gold before fading away, leaving no trace of its existence behind.

Naruto closed his eyes and let out a deep breath to calm down. When his anger all but faded away, he finally moved out of the middle of the street. The boy walked to the six foot wide mouth of a nearby alleyway, attracting strange and longing looks alike. Naruto turned face one, ten foot tall wall. He jumped five feet into the air and used his legs to push himself off the wall. The move catapulted him five more feet up, and to the other side of the ally. Naruto turned mid-air and repeated the stunt twice more until he was gazing out over the rooftops of Konoha.

The sun was just beginning its journey downward: The sky was clear; the birds were flying around the village. Now if only he could block out the irritating village noises; the constant hum of the street crowds, the street vendors calling out their wares, bells ringing whenever a person enters a store. You know the works.

Naruto gazed around the village in an attempt to stave off unsavory thoughts. Sadly, it wasn't working. Sighing in frustration, Naruto started to pace back and forth across the rooftop. Five minutes later and it still wasn't working. Naruto let out another deep breath, took a step back, and ran forward. With but a hair's breadth of rooftop separating him from a painful fall, Naruto leaped across the six foot wide gap, and landed on the other rooftop. He landed in a crouch, but quickly bounded to his feet in an instant.

The former academy student rushed to the other side of the rooftop. When he reached the wall of the neighboring building, he jumped up five feet and grabbed the windowsill above him. Naruto then used the windowsill to catapult himself up the next five feet. He grabbed the rooftop edge with his fingers and hoisted himself up.

Free running had always been one of the few things that kept his mind off other things, and at the same time relieved stress. There was just something about the requirement for pure skill, reflexes and endurance that comes with Parkour that sets his mind at ease. Not only that but Parkour teaches you things that you wouldn't learn by using Chakra enhanced jumps, things like improvising, recovery, pacing and finding paths that others wouldn't notice.

Just after a few years of using Parkour, whenever Naruto gazed around the city, instead of seeing a giant bustling hidden village, he saw a giant playground. Almost anything can be used to scale a building; windowsills, loose bricks, cracks in the wall, other nearby buildings, protruding bricks, anything. There was also a small sense of accomplishment that came with scaling a large building with your bare hands. Something you didn't don't get if you just use Chakra to walk up the wall.

As Naruto hoisted himself up his eyes glided back and forth a crossed the buildings in front of him. Course plotted Naruto dashed to the side. It took him but a second to reach a building going two stories higher, one of the older buildings in the village. He hopped up six feet and grabbed the edge of a deep depression in the building wall. Naruto mournfully recalled that it was cut out via stray kunai thrown by a chunin guard; at an assassin twenty years ago. It was a memory that didn't belong in his head.

Naruto quickly shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He used the depression to throw himself three feet up two feet to the right. The demon jailer grabbed a protruding brick and used it to throw himself up six more feet. At the apex of his jump Naruto wedged his fingers into a large crack in the wall's face. The boy placed his feet on another protruding brick just four feet below him to gain more leverage. He crouched down slightly, and then made the last five feet by pushing his hands downward and hopping up just enough so that he could pull his hands out and grab the ledge above him.

Naruto hoisted himself up. As soon as his feet were on solid rooftop he turned left and ran to the edge of the building. With a fifty foot drop coming fast Naruto leaped across the road, which was well over ten feet wide. If a civilian were to look up they would have seen him sailing a crossed the sky and land gracefully on the other side of the road, and then they would go crazy. But Naruto didn't need to worry about any civilians looking up and raising hell about his adventures on the rooftops. Civilians never looked up at the rooftops, so they were woefully ignorant of the things occurring above their gaze. There was a chance though; that one day a civilian would look up, see him, and raise hell about it at the next civilian council meeting. Then the civilian council would accuse him of various different crimes just because he was traipsing around the rooftops. But the complaints would be put to rest when the ninja council shoots down their attempts to have him executed, again, or it would never get that far because the person that saw him would get several 'strange' impulses that he shouldn't worry about him, depending on Naruto's mood.

Just as he was about to land on the rooftop Naruto spied something out of the corner of his eye, and smirked. The roof came up to meet him, and when Naruto felt the weight of the world come back to him he rolled forward to lessen the impact of the twenty foot fall. He rolled over once and landed on his feet, then shot up to his usual stance. With his eyes on his target Naruto walked over to the side of the building and dropped down into the alleyway. With just five feet to spare he twisted around and grabbed a windowsill, then a moment later he let go and dropped to the ground.

Naruto walked over to the mouth of the alleyway. He scanned the crowd for a moment; then he found his target. Naruto walked through the crowd; the boy weaved in, out and between people, carts and other obstacles with feline like grace. As he got closer to his target the crowd started to thin out, and as such he was spotted. But his target just went on; not caring that Naruto was getting closer, and that would be his downfall.

Naruto raised his arms in an exaggerated fashion, the way a person would greet a friend they haven't seen in years. "Hey there! I haven't seen you since this morning you broody bastard! How have you been?"

In response Naruto got a blank look and a voice colored by anger. "My sensei was three hours late. The Aburame didn't say a thing and that fan girl kept pestering me for a date every five seconds for the entire time. I am not doing well."

Naruto gave him a sympathetic look. "That really sucks Sasuke. Having to deal with fan girls throwing themselves at you, having to beat them off with a stick daily, must be troublesome. So how was your test?"

Sasuke scowled. "We have ours tomorrow morning. If he's late again, he'll pay." The boy proclaimed in his usual tone.

Naruto nodded in a sagely manner, "Yes lord Sasuke. Your Jônin sensei, who islegendary around the world for his skill and experience, will obviously bow down to you and take whatever punishment you give him. Despite you only being a fresh-out-of-the-academy genin. Your thigs are the wisest of all!"

Sasuke just let Naruto say whatever he wanted. It was a refreshing change of pace from having his ass kissed and people trying to jump his bones. Hell if it wasn't for Naruto he'd probably still be a selfish bastard. Having your head messed with is surprisingly good therapy.

When Sasuke caught the last thing Naruto said he raised his eyebrow. "Thigs? What the hell are thigs?"

As the boy was asking that, Naruto's eyes flickered to two different locations. The pigeon was in position, and to make things better a certain pair of girls were watching from a distance. Naruto heard Sasuke's question and his eyes flew open in shock. When the boy spoke his voice was filled with disbelief. "What? How could you not know of the wise thigs? It's one of the many central ideals of Jellism! To think someone as intelligent as you would speak such foolishness!"

Sasuke just blinked in confusion. "What the hell is Jellism? Is it some sort of fucked up cult you started?"

When he heard that, Naruto had a shell-shocked look on his face. Soon afterwards, he fell to his knees in devout prayer, which attracted a lot of stares. "Forgive him my lord Jell, he knows not what he speaks. Someday, he will see the light and he will be forgiven. Until then, I am your most devout follower."

Sasuke sighed, "Naruto I will never join your cult. It's just stupid. If you think there is a 'Lord Jell' then you're crazy. There is no such thing."

Naruto's eyes widened to comical proportions, "HERETIC! You will burn in Jell for that! CLEANSE!" Naruto jumped to his feet and reached into his weapons pouch.

Before Sasuke could register Naruto's final word he was sent flying down the street with Naruto running after him yelling in a fanatical fashion, "Cleanse! Cleanse! CLEANSE!" while waving something around in the air.

When Sasuke stopped bouncing down the road he slowly started to pick himself up. Two girls ran to his side and started to fret over him, they forgot to glare at each other in the midst of their worry. They were Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka, the two head fan-girls of Sasuke's stalker force and 'rivals for his love'.

After Sasuke stood with both his feet on the ground, he ignored his fan girls' attempts to help him as usual, he growled at the blond who was just feet away. "Naruto why did you… is that a fish?"

Naruto was standing in front of the three potential genin. In his hand was possibly the largest fish they have ever seen. It was over four feet long and one foot wide. It flopped around limply in his hand and its gills fluttered around in vain; showing that it still held the spark of life in its heart. Naruto answered, "Yes this is a fish." Then the boy somehow tucked it away into his weapons pouch, which made it disappear completely.

Sasuke, Ino and Sakura stared at him for a moment. "Why did you hit me with a fish?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah! Why did you hit Sasuke with a fish?" Take your pick on who said that one.

"It is another central ideal of Jellism. All heretics must be flogged with a fish once for every offence to our lord Jell." The pigeon was ready, that little stunt with the fish set the timetable back but it relocated and was ready for action. _'NOW!'_

Sasuke sighed. "Listen Naruto I don't know what's-" the Uchiha's head was suddenly assaulted by a pair of flapping wings. He let out an unmanly screech at the surprise attack and tried to bat away the assailant but it persisted in its onslaught.

After a moment Sasuke started to run around in circles in an attempt to put some distance between himself and his assailant. But the pigeon didn't let up it flew after the boy, trying to fulfill its sudden primal urge to mate. After watching the spectacle for a few seconds Naruto decided to make things a little more interesting.

Sakura and Ino, the both of whom finally managed to get over their shock, made a move to aid their 'love' but what happened next stopped them in their tracks. Sasuke was running around in circles when he suddenly fell over. How he fell over was what made the pair pause. His pants fell down, showing the assembled crowd that the last loyal Uchiha wore briefs, pink briefs.

As Ino and Sakura fought to stay conscious, Naruto collapsed on the ground laughing his ass off. The last Uchiha wore pink briefs? The broody bastard just made his day better, so he called the bird off. Meanwhile the pigeon was about to act out its desires when it struck with a sudden bout of fear. The instinct to survive and see another day overpowered its urge to mate with its new partner so it flew off, leaving a pantsed genin behind that was in desperate need of a comb.

As soon as the love-struck bird flew off Sasuke, he shot to his feet and pulled his pants up, making sure that they wouldn't fall down again. Feeling a deep need to salvage his dignity Sasuke focused on the only person who was laughing, Naruto. The blond was now standing, and his laughs still echoed through the street. Sasuke briskly walked over to Naruto and stood in front of him with his arms crossed.

A few seconds later Naruto finally calmed down enough to straighten up and look Sasuke directly in the eye, "Yes Sasuke?"

Sasuke growled. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because it was funny. If you saw something like that happening to someone else wouldn't you laugh too?"

Sasuke saw red. How dare this… nerd laugh at him? The only thing he had was book smarts. Book smarts wouldn't win a fight; only genjutsu, taijutsu and ninjutsu would. And he had none of those. He didn't know how to use genjutsu, the boy only used the basic three. And as for his taijutsu he always forfeited the matches in favor of playing with his paper and ink. In short he was fodder, and fodder should learn their place.

Sasuke pulled his arm back and made a fist. Naruto just stared at him straight in the eye without flinching, which only served to enrage Sasuke further. As Sasuke punched at Naruto's face the boy just sighed and took quick stock of the situation. The gathered crowd of villagers were cheering Sasuke on while his fan-girls looked shocked that their 'love' could get angry enough to punch a harmless, though admittedly weird, boy.

As the fist came within an inch of his face, Naruto turned to the side and leaned back. The fist flew past his head with inches to spare. Naruto grabbed his wrist, and in retaliation kneed Sasuke in the gut. Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise as his back hunched over in pain. Naruto then used his other leg to push off the ground and roll a crossed Sasuke's back.

As he rolled a crossed Sasuke's back Naruto gripped the Uchiha's shirt collar. When his feet touched ground, Naruto threw Sasuke forward through a small gap in the crowd. Naruto straightened up and walked over to where Sasuke laid on the ground, the stunned crowd parting before him like the red sea. He knelt down as the boy groaned and said. "Anger has no place in battle, Sasuke. You should know that."

Naruto let out a frustrated sigh. A moment later he grabbed Sasuke's hand and pulled him up. The last Uchiha was too confused to fight him. "Sasuke I'm going to be blunt with you, I saw that coming from a mile away."

As soon as Sasuke stood on his own two feet Naruto started to walk away. Puzzled, Sasuke called after him, "You're just going to walk away?"

Naruto paused for a moment, and then called back over his shoulder, "It's not walking away if you come with me." Then he kept on walking.

Behind him Sasuke stared at his retreating back. Then a second later he was assaulted by the sudden urge to follow Naruto. He tried to fight it off; after all he was just embarrassed by him. But in the end the urge won and he trailed after like a lost puppy…

What the academy in Konoha teaches and trains wasn't as hard as what they did in other countries. In all other countries they had everything Konoha teaches, plus physical and mental conditioning. When it comes to willpower most fresh genin from other countries were tougher than most veteran genin from Konoha. Naruto liked the old man but sometimes his bleeding heart policies drove him up the wall. But look on the bright side, Sasuke was harder to influence than most.

**Fifteen minutes later.**

The pair stood in training ground twelve. They both knew they were followed, Naruto because he knew that the two head fan-girls would want to know what their crush was doing with him, and Sasuke through his advanced anti-stalker sense. "Why are we here nerd?"

Naruto turned around and cocked his head to the side. "Should you really be calling me that? I may be intelligent Sasuke, but as you saw before I am not lacking in physical endeavors. And as for why we're here I noticed you were lacking in something. So we're here to fix that."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Lacking what?"

"You are lacking form, precision, grace. And before you even ask how I know this I trained with Maito Gai for three years." Sasuke opened his mouth. "And before you ask another question, ask your sensei next time you see him who Maito Gai is. Now are you going to just stand there and ask questions or are we going to get this over with?"

"Get what over with?"

"Again with the questions! I thought I told you to stop? Do you want the guy that kicked your ass to help you or not?" Sasuke opened his mouth. "Don't answer that!"

"Wh-"

"NO! DON'T… SAY… ANYTHING! I know that you want help. Don't ask how it's too troublesome. Are you going to ask any more questions?"

Sasuke blinked once. "No." Talking with Naruto was always an interesting experience. He could be intelligent one minute, philosophical the next, or completely bat-shit insane in the span of a minute. Sasuke absently wondered how he'd act while drunk.

"GOOD! We are going to have a sparring match. NO! JUST SHUT UP!" there was the sound of a jaw slamming shut. "All you have to do is punch me once. And before you say something like 'Why should I do this' or 'I'm not going to do this it's not worth my time' if you don't I will prank you mercilessly. Plus if you do hit me I will give you a prize of one-hundred ryo, but if I win you have to give me that much money. Don't ask, I'm really bored and I need to kill some time. When I say go."

Naruto took a deep breath and cracked his neck. "Go." Sasuke ran forward and landed a kick on Naruto's face. But the boy quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke and in his place was a log. Sasuke whipped his head around and saw Naruto on his knees, praying.

"Thank you for aiding me my friend. If it wasn't for you I'd be hurt. Amen."

"…You do realize that we're in the middle of a spar don't you?"

"And you do realize that you could have attacked me while I was praying, which would have let you gain an advantage over me in our spar. Don't you?"

"…Touché. Why are we doing this?"

"Because I have some time to kill, why not do it constructively? By helping you further your ambitions, my lord."

"…"

"Truthfully you need to be taught a lesson in humility, patience and just plain how to laugh at yourself. You're such a stick in the mud, even the hardest of asses must have some down time or they'll go mad. Find a hobby or five, get a girlfriend, party, make bets, get laid; anything to relieve the boring monotony of everyday life. For example, one of my hobbies is to mess with people's heads. But that's beside the point, shall we continue?" Sasuke nodded.

Naruto reached into his weapons pouch. After a moment he withdrew his clenched fist and lifted it to his face. Naruto opened his hand and blew on it. The air was suddenly filled with pink flower petals that flew lazily around the clearing, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow.

Naruto ignored the unasked question and clasped his hands behind his back. "Remember, all you have to do is hit me once. The only things I'll do are dodge and the basic three. Go."

Sasuke charged through the pink haze towards Naruto. Sasuke swung his leg at Naruto's face but hit nothing but air. He landed, and saw that Naruto wasn't there anymore. "I'm waiting."

Sasuke turned his head around and saw that Naruto was standing no less then three feet behind him. Sasuke swung around but the only thing he did was make an arc through the flower petals. "Your aim sucks."

Sasuke growled as he again swung at Naruto, only for the blond to appear behind him. "How are you doing this nerd?"

"AGAIN WITH THE QUESTIONS! And to answer it, I'm not going to tell you." Years ago Naruto came up with a seal that lets him switch places with any item, regardless of shape or size. He could switch places with a toothpick, a boulder or even a person. Not only could he switch with anything but it didn't leave behind an annoying puff of smoke. Though the only down-sides were that he had to set the seal to a specific thing, like in this case, flower petals. It also had a set distance. Even then, this would be enough to wear down Sasuke.

**Two hours later.**

Sasuke collapsed to the ground exhausted. Naruto sighed, he supposed that he should have gone easier on the Uchiha scion; after all he'd be sore in the morning. As long as he did the right things during his test he'd be fine. "See you tomorrow Sasuke, and by the way, you owe me one-hundred ryo."

Sasuke just groaned in response, making Naruto smirk as he walked off to his apartment. Ever since the incident, he had been living in a new apartment complex in very isolated part of the village. The old man bought it for him so he wouldn't have to worry about neighbor problems. A few years later, Naruto now owned the entire complex turned mansion.

What was once a two story apartment building is now a two story house. The day Naruto moved in there were fifteen separate apartments on both floors. Now, most of the walls that separated those rooms were knocked down. There were three large rooms on the first floor and five on the second. On the first floor were the living room, dining room and kitchen. On the second were two bedrooms, one bathroom, one library and one experimentation room, the room he did most of his experiments in as the name implied.

Naruto opened the door and walked into his living room. He looked around for a moment. There were two arm chairs, a couch and a coffee table that sat in a semi-circle in front of a television set, one that was only used to gather dust. The walls were a Spartan white, devoid of any and all pictures. The flooring was stained oak. The apartment was made for middle class civilians but when word came out that the 'demon child' was moving in everybody started avoiding the place like Tora hopped up on catnip and speed.

Just as Naruto was going to walk upstairs and call it a day, he felt something bite his ear. He reached back and grabbed the offending creature in his hand, and brought it up to eye level. In his hand was a small white beetle, making Naruto sigh. "I'm sorry I forgot about you but I just had a lot on my mind today."

The beetle made a series of surprisingly loud clacking noises. "Listen little guy, I can't understand anything you're saying." Naruto made a mental note to fix that later.

"Clack clack clack clack clack clackity clack."

"I still can't understand you. You know…. You do need a name." The beetle flew off Naruto's hand, circled around the room for a minute then landed on the couch. A moment later what was once a beetle was now a large, white dog-shaped creature. Other than the lack of fur and the fact it was all bone white he could have passed for a real dog.

"Okay since I can't understand your animal sounds you're just going to have to nod your head yes or no. Okay! What do you think about Fear? It would fit you since you seem to like scaring the council members." It shook its head.

'_How about Kenisha?'_

'_Bark!'_

It seems that mental communication was out of the question. _'Is that a yes or no?' _It shook its head.

"Or how about Cujo? That was a great book." The paper dog shook its head again.

"Origami? That would make sense. After all you are made of paper and can change form." No.

"Or maybe Tetsu? I love misleading names." No.

"Fido?" Nope.

"I have the sudden urge to suggest the name Crypt. How strange…"

oOoOoOoOoO

In another universe a man wearing a straightjacket, a scythe shaped necklace and a flame patterned trench coat sneezed. "Someone must be talking about me! It could be Ghost! That bastard better not be plotting again! GASP! THE FLOOR! He has gathered his minion army of sporks and is marching on the house as I speak! Chairs battle stations! SAVE THE CHANDILIERS!" the man then ran towards a door but he missed it. He hit the wall instead.

oOoOoOoOoO

"Oh well, it must not be important. So what do you think about that name?" the dogshook its head.

"Of course… those were all male names. You could be female." Naruto stopped down to the dog's level. "Are you Saphira?" The dog raised an eyebrow then slowly shook its head.

"You really haven't told me if you were male or female. Which one are you?" The dog grunted in annoyance, jumped off the couch then trotted over to the table. It sniffed it for a moment, then turned around, lifted its leg, then peed all over the table. Naruto raised an eyebrow; the fluids coming out of the dog were black. Ink perhaps?

"Okay I get it you're a guy. Just stop that I have to clean that up later." The dog nodded, then after a second stopped and jumped back onto the couch. Naruto thought for a moment.

"What do you think about Katashiru?" The dog cocked its head to the side, then after a moment nodded its head. "Good choice. Now if you don't mind I need to get to bed."

Naruto walked over to the stairs and proceeded to climb them. On the way up one of his clones dispelled. He paused for a moment and closed his eyes as he sifted through the incoming data. It was the clone that was working on his new training seal, and from the info it seems that it was completed.

When he learned that, Naruto smirked and went directly to his room. He went over to his desk and pulled out some ink and a brush. He unscrewed the top and dipped the brush in the ink. Naruto sifted through some more info, then took off his shirt and cloak. Using his powers Naruto lifted the brush then wrote the seal on his back.

When it was done Naruto felt the world get heavier. It made getting over to the bed rather difficult. He plopped down onto the bed, reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a small bottle. He unscrewed the top then popped a single pill into his mouth.

Naruto reviewed the day's events. He met his team, and became a genin. He met with the council and told the ninja side about his bloodline. The only thing that could at all backfire was that Danzo learned what his powers were. That old war-hawk has been pushing for Naruto to become a member of ROOT since day one. But then again, that didn't matter.

It was a little known fact that when he was a genin, Danzo suffered from a rather severe head injury. Add that to the fact he's about as old as the old man and there was more than a small chance that he'd forget those details.

**Unknown location…**

A shadow fell from the ceiling and landed in front of a one-armed man. An emotionless voice cut through the eerie silence. "Lord Danzo I have trailed Naruto Uzumaki as ordered." Danzo motioned for the ROOT agent to continue.

"After he left the council chambers I started to shadow him as ordered. He left the council chambers in a rage and left the Hokage tower. When he left the tower the doors shut behind him with enough force to break the glass windows. The boy stood in the street for a few minutes, on his body I noticed that he had a rather intricate seal array on him that didn't match the Fourth's seal. A while later, he started to free-run around the village, and he found the Uchiha heir. After a short episode the two of them left for training ground twelve and had a long sparring match in which Uzumaki displayed unparalleled speed. Exactly two hours later my target left the training ground and went to his dwelling. After I observed his home for a few hours, in which he didn't come out, I came to the conclusion that he went to sleep. That ends my report."

"Did Uzumaki exhibit any strange abilities?"

"Other than the seal array, and his speed, none at all, sir." Danzo nodded.

"Very well, you're dismissed." The ROOT agent vanished. The boy was more careful then he thought. He didn't showcase his skills, preferring to stay under the radar. Wait…

What was his bloodline again?

"AM I GOING SENILE!"

**OMAKE! **

**What happens when Shikaku takes Naruto's 'Viagra'?**

Shikaku was at home. He was sitting in the kitchen at the table. Lying on the table in front of him was the plant that Naruto gave him. The thing is that Naruto never told him when he should take it, one thing always helped out the Nara clan head was talking to himself, "Troublesome. Am I really going to have to take this? This is such a drag. But if it makes Yoshino less troublesome, then fine."

The lazy clan head ripped off a few leaves, not sure on how much he should take. After a few moments of thought, he popped the leaves in his mouth. As soon as he swallowed them the door slammed open. "You lazy bastard! Do I have to do everything around here?"

As the pounding feet got closer Shikaku made a silent prayer for the aphrodisiac to work quickly. "Hello dear. So how were the deer today?"

"Don't you try to be funny you lazy bastard! You know well enough that it was your turn to take care of them today!"

"I'm sorry honey, but I was called to a council meeting so I didn't have time to check up on them." The one-sided fight was briefly interrupted when the door yet again opened letting out a protesting squeak from its hinges. There was a little known fact was that there was a betting pool going around, the subject of which was how long the door would last from the abuse before getting replaced… again. Most people bet around a week.

"Troublesome woman, most of Konoha heard you. Why can't you be quieter and less bitchy?" Shikaku had another silent prayer for his doomed son.

"What did you say? I went through eleven months of labor to hear you say that?" Another little known fact was that all Nara males came late.

"You think that you can just say whatever you want can you?" Yoshino grabbed her son by the ear and started to pull him around.

While Shikamaru was being… disciplined by his mother, Shikaku started to feel strange. His heartbeat speed up, he started to feel hot and sweaty, and a certain part of him was livelier than it had been for years. His body wasn't the only thing affected; his mind and eyes were focused on two things and two things only. So great was his concentration on the pair that even a crippled, senile, old war hawk wearing bells, tap-dance shoes, and a revved up chainsaw would have found it easy to walk up behind him and slit his throat.

"If you think that you can do that then-" Yoshino noticed that her husband was staring at her in a strange way. "What do you want?"

Shikaku was at her side faster than her eyes could see. He grabbed the hand that still held Shikamaru's ear, pulled it in front of him and pressed it to his chest. His other arm snaked around her waist and he bent over, their waists connected in a very suggestive manner. Caught off guard, the only thing Yoshino could do was stare into her husband's eyes.

The Nara clan head said in a husky voice, "What do I want? I want you. I want to spend the night with you. And I want it to be a night you will always remember." Shikaku leaned forward and kissed her ear, chewing on it slightly. His hot breath caressing her ear made her shiver in anticipation.

Yoshino and Shikamaru, blinked once, twice, three times. "Are you two really going to have sex? So troublesome..." WHAM! Faster then his eyes could see a frying pan flew through the air and hit Shikamaru right in the forehead.

"SHUT THE HELL UP BOY! You better not do it half-assed like last time." The Nara Matriarch glared at her husband dangerously.

"Don't worry my love. By tomorrow morning you will be satisfied." Shikaku heard a groan to his side and turned his head. Shikamaru was getting up off the floor, his forehead a large red welt, unfocused eyes roaming around the room.

"Troublesome headache... What happened? Why was-" Shikamaru's eyes came into focus on the sight of his parents, the two still in the same position as before.

There was an awkward silence. "…If you need me I'll be at Chouji's." The clan heir walked out of the house.

With the sound of the door closing behind him the two refocused on each other. "This is going to be a night you will remember, darling." They weren't the only ones that remembered the night, because for the entire night the whole Nara clan compound was kept up with the sounds of a creaking bed and lust filled yells.

A few weeks later another betting pool would start up; how long will it take for the bed to break? And a few months after that, a new Icha Icha would come out. The main 'protagonist', if you want to call him that, would be a lazy man that discovers the joys of aphrodisiacs.

**A.N. **

**I waited and waited for Third Fang to respond but it took to long. SO I'm just going to say this again; I don't own Third Fang's 'Yet Again With A Little Extra Help' Crypt is the sole property of Third Fang and I don't claim ownership. **

**Peace may finally come to the Nara clan due to Naruto's Viagra.**

**A shout out to the person that suggested the paper beast's name Katashiru, ZeroLink21! **

**I HAVE AN IMPRORTANT ANOUNCMENT TO MAKE! For the sake of comedic genius everywhere Tobi is going to be TOBI! No Madara, no insane Uchiha Patriarch, Pein is the big-bad boss of Akatsuki. **

**So tell me, what do you think about the Parkour scene? Love it? Hate it?**

**Remember to visit my profile. I posted an Author challenge, Naruto Inuzuka. Votefor your favorite Naruto characters! **

**Now for a quick word about Kage Bunshin. It just irks me so how some people use Kage Bunshin as a quick power-up. Some people use it on Naruto and BAM! A week later what was once a boy that could get his ass kicked by Kiba is now a boy that hands out S-ranked beat downs, K.O.s Madara with his pinkie, and suddenly knows fifty fight-ending jutsu. You will never see me having Naruto use Kage Bunshin to become a powerful beast in five minutes. EVER! You'll only see me use it to in a fight, or like shown earlier, to develop potentially dangerous seals.**

**COME ON PEOPLE REVIEW! I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN BREAK 100 THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE! IF WE DO THEN… I'LL DO SOMETHING! AND EVEN IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN MORE THAN 100 REVIEWS THEN KEEP ON REVIEWING! IT MAKES FOR A HAPPY AUTHOR! AND A HAPPY AUTHOR WRITES MORE! EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE OTHER SHIT GOING ON!**


	7. Bad First Impressions

**Chapter Seven, Bad First Impressions**

**I AM BACK PEOPLE! IT'S TIME TO CELIBRATE! –Red and green balloons fall from the ceiling music is playing as a lot of random non-descript people dance around- Okay, okay! That's enough it's not that big of a deal! –People walk out-**

**Just have to point this out. My computer says that Shikaku is spelled as 'Shitake' how strange… **

**A quick announcement… this fic is taking priority over my other one(s), like The Reaver, until completion. So that means updates for those fics will be sporadic. Other than that…**

**YES! I'VE GOTTEN PAST THE 100 MARK! IT'S TIME TO CELIBRATE PEOPLE!**

–**Red, white and blue balloons fall from the ceiling. There's music playing and a whole lot of random non-descript people are dancing around-**

**REVIEWER RESPONSE IS A GO!**

_**BETA NOTE: Fanboy, stop placing these in! They are against the rules! If you want to reply to reviews, than do it correctly!**_

**FINE! BUT STOP CALLING ME FANBOY!**

**Disclaimer; if I owned Naruto they would worship the great lord Jell. But since I don't we just have to settle with them worshiping The Log.**

**A little warning, the first scene is kind of confusing.**

Red Chakra enveloped his body. His wounds close with a hiss, healing so fast that wisps of smoke arose from the boy's skin. He turned his body around to face the doorway, one tail of red Chakra lazily whipping around as he does so. He focused his enraged eyes on the man in front of him.

As he takes a step forward, the man in front of him takes a step back. He takes another step forward; the man drops the bloody kunai in his hand onto the floor. He takes another step forward, and the man falls to his knees pleading for his life. He pleads with tears in his eyes, "I'm sorry! I never wanted to hurt you. They took her from me; I did what I had to do!" In the boy's enraged state, he ignores the man's tears, and his pleas.

He takes the final step forward and raised his clawed hand in preparation to end the man's life, but instead he took a frantic step back at a sudden sensation. Sadness and an undertone fear. Overwhelming sadness struck him in an instant. Not sadness of his impending death, but sadness for his daughter.

He saw himself through the man's eyes. His bubbling red cloak, his blood stained shirt, his clawed hands, thickened whisker marks, blood red eyes- everything. Then he saw himself stumble backwards with fear and sadness etched on his face. He felt a small sense of hope flutter in his chest, but that's quickly overcome by confusion. Why isn't he killing me? Did he forgive me?

That thought was quickly lost when the cloak around the boy released another great burst. Then the boy saw lights all around him, in the nearby buildings, out in the streets, and right in front of him a blinding light. So numerous they are in the dark; they are like stars in the night sky, and the one in front of him, the sun.

Then he remembers. He remembers his first thought, he remembers his first love, his first kiss, his wife. He remembers his entire life in vivid detail. He remembered how his Noumu looked in her wedding dress, like an angel. He remembered everything about their honeymoon and night together. How he felt a month later when she told me that he was going to be a father, then how long he cried when he found out she died giving birth, the only solace that day being his giggling baby girl.

He then remembers everything about the letter he found in her crib, how they would kill her if he didn't kill himself. Then in just a moment all goes dark, his light blown out in an instant. He dies so easily that the boy almost vomits. His small head felt like it was being split open at the seams with the number of things he remembers.

Pain. His leg gets blown off by an explosive tag. He has burns all over his body from a fire jutsu. His chest gets slashed with an Iwa-nin's sword. He loses his ring finger in a training accident. He breaks his arm in a fall.

Sorrow. His teammate gets sliced in half right in front of him. His mother dies. He loses his first love. He learns that he will never have children.

Happiness. He finishes school. He meets with his friends, or family. His son learns to walk. His friend returns from war unscathed.

Another burst of Chakra.

He sees an unfamiliar room. He is sitting in a comfy chair; in his lap lays a book. He feels a faint sense of dread take hold of him, as if a premonition tells him that these will be his final seconds. He turns his head to his left, where his wife is sitting. He opens his mouth to speak, but the moment he does so the table in front of him explodes.

She switches perspective. Now she sees her husband get peppered with wooden shrapnel. She screams out his name and throws her sewing needles to the floor. She runs up to him and cries as she watches the life leave the eyes of her husband of eighty years. His light gets snuffed out as she screams his name. The wall behind her buckles for a moment; then explodes. A chunk of brick hits her in the head with a shower of blood and grey matter.

This time he does vomit.

He's outside in the street, walking to the grocer. He doesn't come this way often because it's just three blocks away from the demon's apartment. When it starts to rain he run to the grocer, but before he makes it there he hears a great roar on his left.

He turns his head just in time to see a house collapse. His heart flutters in his chest as he changes course in an instant. In that house lives a well-known elderly couple. They were some of the nicest people in the district. They were so nice and naïve that they didn't move when the demon got transferred to its new home.

But before he could get even halfway to the crowd that now surrounded the house he felt a blinding pain shoot up his leg. He stumbles and falls to the ground. He lets out a loud scream of pain. The cries attract the attention of the few people who weren't frantically digging through the rubble.

They run over to him. Before darkness claims him he sees a shape loom over him, and a voice say "Someone get a doctor, he looks bad."

He stoops down to the injured man's level. He says "Someone get a doctor, he looks bad." The man's girlfriend, Yukuma, nods her head and runs to get help. After only a few steps he feels an aura of malcontent.

Another burst of chakra.

Suddenly the ground underfoot shifts, spikes of rock shoot out of the ground, fissures open up to devour the land, and several more houses collapse. He stumbles, but manages to catch himself before he gets impaled on a stone spike just inches from his face. His girlfriend wasn't so lucky.

She falls over. And as she falls over he thinks she will be okay; the ground beneath her is without a blemish. But just as he thinks that, the ground beneath her cracks open. The fissure… it resembled a twisted smile, one that would not be out of place on Satan, or a demon.

The teeth, the empty blackness… it was as if the maw of hell opened, just to claim the life and soul of the only girl he loves. She screams out. In response the only thing he can do is yell out her name and rush over to the fissure as she falls. Then she disappears into the inky darkness.

He runs over to the fissure, paying no attention to his own safety. He makes it to the gaping maw without incident. The man peers into it, and when all he sees is darkness tears fall from his eyes.

Anguish, his girlfriend just died.

He screams out her name in sorrow. Then he hears his name get called out from the depths. He opens his eyes and what he sees makes him wonder if they were blessed by Kami. His girlfriend… she's floating upwards and out of the jaws of death. She looks like an angel in her white dress, with her dirty blonde hair blowing around without a single whisper of wind. In his relief the man doesn't see the debris floating around the block ominously.

Happiness, his girlfriend never died.

He wipes the tears away from his eyes. She's alive, why would he be crying? But his relief is short-lived.

She gazes around at the surreal sight before her. Debris float around lazily, spikes just out of the ground, houses are collapsed and her boyfriend is on his knees before me, with tears drying on his face. She opens my mouth to speak once more.

Another burst of Chakra.

Her body jerks violently. She's thrown around through the air, and gets slammed into a wall.

He sees her girlfriend get slammed face-first into a wall. A loud crack echoes through the street, the sound of bones breaking. The breath hitches in his throat. Her body slowly turns to face him. Her front… is covered in blood, ribs poke out of the fabric, and right in front of him he sees the light leave her body. He cries.

Then chaos reigns.

The grounds shifts once more, several more rock spikes now protrude from the ground skewering dozens. The floating debris, once slowly traveling around, speed up rapidly. More houses collapse, but instead of falling in a heap they are thrown into the air. Jagged shrapnel gets shot around like bullets, large hunks of debris are tossed around and the people that were once rushing around the street are now no more than rag dolls being played with by a sadistic child. People, live people, are slammed into the ground, walls into each other, with their cries of pain and the revolting sound of bones breaking echoing through-out the sky.

It looked as if a small tornado struck this part of town, debris fly through the air in a swirling vortex. Parts of houses still partially visible, you could make out shapes in the gloom. Doors, beams, carpets, dogs, nothing is spared in this whirlwind of death. And all of it is centered around one thing. Something left untouched by the destruction, a single apartment.

The eye of the maelstrom.

The walls around him explode. Wooden shrapnel fly through the air. With his temporarily enhanced sight he sees his impending doom in vivid detail. The grain in the wood, the sound of it cutting through the air not unlike a shuriken, and the way it's shaped. Some look like jagged daggers, others take the form of shark's teeth, some are small and harmless, while other shrapnel shards are bigger than his head. But as soon as they come into contact with the red cloak that surrounds him they disintegrate, leaving not a trace behind but the smell of burnt wood. The shrapnel might not have hurt him, but it didn't need to.

As the last light gets snuffed out, as easily as a candle in a hurricane, he clutches his head in shock and pain. The shock of dieing a thousand deaths finally getting to him he growls out in pain. With his mind exhausted the dark shroud that has his body enveloped leaves with a final burst of foul Chakra.

He falls to his knees, the only reason why he doesn't meet the ground being his frail arms supporting him, but barely. His ragged breath sounding as loud to his ears as the dying screams he made only moments before. He rose his head up shakily.

His apartment, his once small apartment room is covered in blood, the blood of a civilian, an innocent, a father. The blood drips down from the walls as the ceiling cries crimson. Bone shards stick out of the ceiling and floor; organs decorate the room- his blood, his bones, his organs, himself.

After what seems like an eternity he hears a loud crack. The boy looks up to see an ominous sight. The roof was sagging in as if it was made out of wet paper. It wails and moans like the dying as it drops down another foot. He heard a great explosion and looked out the window to see a red fireball, a gas line rupture. Then with an almighty sky-splitting yell the building collapsed around him. Too exhausted to do anything about it, and still shaken from what happened he accepted his fate. His home came down on him with a loud roar and then, silence… and darkness.

Just like a tomb.

oOoOoOoO

Naruto bolted upright and frantically threw his eyes around the room. Oak wood flooring, an elegant hand carved desk, and a queen sized bed; he was in his own room. It was just a dream, all just a dream. As his heartbeat slowed down the faintly gold lined seal that spider webbed over his body faded away, leaving no trace.

After a few minutes long tentative wait Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and got out of bed. He made a clone to replace the shredded, wet bed sheets and walked into the bathroom. With the door shut firmly behind him Naruto stripped of his sweat drenched clothes and tossed them down the laundry chute.

Naruto walked over to the shower, turned the hot water knob and stepped into the shower as carefully as he could so he wouldn't stress his cramped muscles. As the water turned from cold to warm Naruto braced himself on one side of the shower with his right arm. His left hand wasn't idle; its fingers massaged his temple in an attempt to calm the storm in his mind, and to clear out all thoughts of the dream. It was a fruitless endeavor.

As the now steaming water cascaded down his body it loosened the cramps in his arm, leg and chest muscles, making Naruto let out a comfortable groan. When all knots were undone Naruto started to wash the grime that came with his dream off, all the while trying to keep his mind off of the dream. It felt like he showered for fifteen minutes, but in all reality it was only fifteen minutes. Now clean and with his muscles loosened up Naruto turned off the shower, the hot water knob screeching at him as he did so.

As the flow of water died down Naruto glared at the knob in his hand. Then with an angry growl he slid the bath curtain back and stepped out of the shower. The only difference in the air was the lack of humidity; it was as warm out of the shower as it was in. Naruto walked over to the cracked mirror and stared at his reflection for a while, just to make sure he was himself. A minute later he shook his head with an ugly scowl distorting his face.

He walked over to the bathroom door and opened it. A wave of Arctic cold air assaulted his still dripping frame as he walked over to his bed, but he didn't even flinch. He remembered worse. With his form still dripping Naruto picked up a towel that now lay folded on the new sheets. The boy dried himself off, and then he put on the clean clothes, still warm from the dryer, that lay next to his pillow on the new sheets.

After he was done Naruto turned his gaze to the clock, it was one hour until he needed to meet his team. He then looked around the room to check the damage. It wasn't as bad as last time's, the only casualties were two chairs that resembled piles of toothpicks, a table that had a large crack in it, a stool missing it's legs, a shredded pile of paper that was once a great book and one or two cracked windows, another was shattered. Naruto didn't show any surprise as half a dozen clones popped into existence in front of him.

He pointed at the five on the left. "Your group will search the house and fix what's broken this time." Naruto then walked over to his bedside table. He picked up a bottle of pills and tossed it to the last clone. "Make sure the next batch is stronger, I'd rather get a good night's sleep tonight." The clones nodded in affirmative and went about their duties, while the original left his room and started walking down the stairs.

About halfway down the steps Naruto was struck with a sudden, but not entirely unexpected, head splitting pain. It felt as if his head was being pierced by a volley of white hot needles. It was so intense that he barely managed to stop himself from falling over and rolling down the steps. Then, as suddenly as it came it vanished, the only evidence of its occurrence being a thick stream of blood leaking out of Naruto's nose.

Naruto wiped the trail of blood away using his black gloved hand. A small pattern appeared on the glove. The circular seal glowed a bright bluish-white briefly before vanishing. The large smear of blood that was once on it followed suit, leaving behind a glove without blemish.

Naruto straightened himself and continued to walk down the steps. He rounded a corner and smirked as he saw a large boa constrictor lazing around on the floor. The creature was almost nine feet long, had a scaly, pale yellow hide and rather large eyes. Its tongue flickered in and out of its mouth, tasting the air.

Snakes didn't have any ears, though many summoned ones seemed to disregard that rule. Instead they 'heard' by sensing vibrations in the ground. For that reason it was that snakes were a favorite prey of hunting birds. Snakes may be able to sense the most silent of ninja on the ground and even under it, but their domain wasn't the air.

So it came as no surprise when the snake turned its head and stared at Naruto with un-lidded eyes as the boy approached. "I see that the seal is working fine. How does it feel to have color?"

The snake seemed to grin as its body shrank and grew taller. In the span of one second it transformed from a nine-foot long, yellow snake into a large, red Siberian husky, fur and all. The dog tilted its head upward and… howled wouldn't be the right word, neither would bark. It was more of a "Woo-woo-woowooo! Yarm!"

Naruto nodded his head in a sagely manner. "I'll take that as an 'It's awesome! I will be your obedient companion for years to come. Give me bacon.' It was surprisingly easy to modify the camouflage seal to give you both color and fur, scales feathers of whatever the hell you want." Naruto suddenly raised his head and put a finger on his chin, as if contemplating the meaning of life, and through that, the universe.

"… I wonder what a bird covered with grass would look like?"

Katashiru gave his master a look that said 'Don't tempt me.'

Naruto chuckled. "As much as I'd like to continue with this one-sided conversation I have to get to my team's meeting place. You're welcome to come along as well if you want." The boy spun on his heel and walked out the door.

Outside the morning air was crisp and a little chilly. Birds chirped, squirrels chattered amongst themselves and all manner of other noises filled Naruto's ears as he walked. But despite the beauty of the moment Naruto's mind couldn't help but linger on the damage he had wrought.

All around the apartment ground was thick woodland. Trees spread far as the eyes could see. Over one hundred species of tree lived in the forest around Konoha, such as tall, thick oak trees to birch and mahogany.

But today was not a great day for the forest. Every tree within 50 meters of the apartment was destroyed. Some were merely tipped over, their roots protruding from the ground. Some were no more than a pile of woodchips. But a mass majority of them looked as if a giant took a meat grinder and made of disastrous attempt at getting fiber into his diet.

Many of those trees were skewed around, their trunks nearly torn apart midway through with their canopies only supported by a few stubborn wood splinters. Others were missing their canopy; like that same giant picked them up and took a big bite out of them like they were broccoli, but then tossed away the unsavory stems. But the rest just had their branches broken, as if a giant hand had caressed them for a moment, then enclosed upon them and jerked downwards.

Naruto did his best to ignore the devastation around him, but it wouldn't work. The thoughts and images of the ravaged section stayed with him long after he left it behind. The shame of what he inadvertently did somehow brought forth the images he had ingrained in his mind on that day in Konoha, the day of the incident. Coupled with the memories of that day and what his did this day had fifteen minutes to fester and impose itself on his mind, placing a seed of doubt within himself.

So it came as no great surprise that his once great mood had soured considerably by the time he got to the team training ground.

Naruto paused for a moment and listened to the voices emanating from the training ground. After a second a plan started taking form in his head. Once it was finished Naruto gave mental instructions to his paper companion, who had followed him in the form of a bird.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Damn it! Where are they? I never thought that sensei or the nerd would be late." Kiba muttered angrily as he paced around.

"Ki-Kiba! We still have ten minutes left. They're probably coming here right now."

"Bullshit! I-" Whatever else Kiba was about to say was interrupted when his companion Akamaru raised his head off of the ground and growled at some nearby bushes.

Kiba turned his head towards Akamaru. "What's wrong boy?" The small white puppy didn't respond, instead he chose to rush off into the brush.

"Akamaru get back here!" Kiba ran after him, but the moment he reached the bushes a small red blur dashed between his legs, followed shortly after by a small white blur. Barking filled the air as the two forms ran over to Hinata, the red blur jumped at her chest.

Acting on reflex Hinata raised her hands and caught the blur between her hands. She looked down to see a small red fox, that couldn't be older than a month, thrashing around in her grip. Below it Akamaru was hopping up and down trying desperately to get his prey, he seemed to forget that he could jump seven meters into the air. In her surprise Hinata's grip fell slack and the fox kit almost slipped through her fingers, but at the last second she lunged forward and caught the small mammal before it could fall to a gory death.

As its thrashing continued anew Hinata got a sudden idea. Her hands happened to be near its belly so she adjusted her fingers and started to rub in circles around the fox's belly. It had an immediate effect on the wild animal. The fox stopped struggling at the alien but welcome sensation. Less than a minute later it had its eyes lidded halfway and was purring loudly.

It was at that moment Kiba managed to get his companion under control. When he looked up to see Hinata petting the docile fox he promptly said, "How the hell are you doing that?"

She didn't even look up as she shrugged her shoulders and sat back down, all the while still petting in circles on the small kit's underside. Hinata giggled when the kit started to kick her hand playfully. "He's so cute!"

Kiba scoffed and said "That runt isn't cute." In response his belt shot off of his pants and buried itself in a nearby tree. Unsupported, the baggy pair of sweats dropped to the ground, showing anyone that bothered to look that Kiba chose to wear neon orange briefs today.

Once he felt the breeze Kiba looked down and gaped. The air was still for a moment, then Kiba fell down to his knees and howled to the sky. "Why the hell does this keep on happening to me?" About halfway through Akamaru joined in.

Hinata didn't even bother to look up. Instead she continued to pet the fox, who lay curled up in her lap. It was upon that scene that Kurenai stumbled across when she walked into the clearing. She looked at the crying form of Kiba, and then at Hinata, and instead of asking the obvious question she asked "Where's Naruto?" Kiba just stared at the ground while Hinata shrugged, all thoughts about her crush were absent at the moment.

Kurenai sighed, and then she walked over to a nearby tree and stood under it, in the shade. The minutes crept by at a snail's pace in silence, save for the occasional giggle from Hinata or a sniffle from Kiba. At ten minutes past ten a slurping sound broke the silence, and as one Kiba and Kurenai looked over at Hinata.

The kit in Hinata's lap was now suckling on her fingers, said girl 'Ahhed' and spoke up with pity in her voice, "He must have been taken away from his mother to early. Poor thing!" Hinata scooped it up into her arms and cuddled it into her chest. The young animal didn't resist, but it missed her skin so it cranked its head right into Hinata's face and started sucking on her nose. She giggled again.

Kiba stared for a moment. "Wow! Is every girl like that?" Kurenai slowly nodded her head as she fought off the urge to glomp the kit.

There was a rustling on their left, and through the bushes came out Naruto. Kiba stood up and yelled at him, "Where the hell were you? You're late!"

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but instead of words coming out of his mouth the sound of a barking dog rang through the clearing. Naruto furled his eyebrow in irritation and, ignoring the stunned looks of his teammates, opened his mouth again. This time a horse's neigh pierced the air. Naruto growled in frustration, started to flail his arms around in anger, he walked around in circles and made even more animal noises all the while. Including but not limited to, chicken clucks, yips, chirps, chattering and rubber ducky squeaks?

"Um, Naruto… how are you making all of those noises?" Said boy didn't answer his sensei's question, instead he had a hungry gleam in his eye as he stared at a nearby squirrel, one that was up in a nearby tree nibbling on an acorn. Naruto tensed up and barked wildly at the small mammal. At the sound its head snapped over to Naruto, chattered for a moment, threw the acorn at him and took off into the forest.

The acorn bounced off of Naruto's forehead as he barked again and leapt at the tree. In midair he shrank and took the form of a large blood hound. The dog landed on the branch where the squirrel was eating its acorn and sniffed it for a moment. Then it lifted its head, howled at the sky and bounded off into the woods, leaving behind a stunned Team Eight.

Silence pervaded the air for a few moments after 'Naruto's' abrupt departure. The fox that was still in Hinata's arms made use of the shock before it could wear off. It wriggled its way out of her arms and plopped to the ground. Akamaru instantly perked up and barked at it, and then he hopped up and lunged at the still fox kit. Just when it seemed that it would die young the air around it and Akamaru got enveloped in a shroud of smoke. When it cleared there stood Naruto, with Akamaru latched onto his left kneecap growling. Naruto waved at Kurenai, Kiba and Hinata enthusiastically. "Hi everybody!"

Kiba was the first to recover, probably because he missed the obvious question. "So you're telling me that you were the fox?" Kurenai inexplicably twitched at the choice of words.

Naruto shook his head. "I wasn't telling you that, I was telling you 'Hi'. But yes I was the fox." He stated as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Naruto suddenly got a very far off look in his eyes as a line of drool escaped from the corner of his mouth. "Hinata's nose tasted like strawberry." He dragged the word out in a dazed fashion.

Hinata froze as she realized that Naruto's face had been in hers, that he had been sucking on her nose and that she _pressed _him into her chest. But to her credit she didn't faint until Naruto spoke again.

"And her fingers tasted like-" thump. "… bacon." Naruto sighed wearily. "She really needs to work on that."

Kurenai placed her hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, can I talk to you privately for a moment?" The boy nodded his head in affirmative, tore Akamaru off of his knee and threw him at Kiba. Then he spun on his heel and followed his sensei.

The pair walked off into the woods. Once they were out about a quarter of a mile Kurenai twirled around, grabbed Naruto by his throat and slammed him firmly against a tree. Naruto showed no surprise nor did he even wince in pain as his sensei snarled at him. "Why the hell do you keep doing that for?"

Naruto blinked his eyes slowly and said in an even voice, "Doing what?"

This time Kurenai yelled at him "Don't play coy; you know what I mean! Why do you keep messing with Hinata?'

This time Naruto made the mistake of saying first. "Because it's fun an-" the older woman interrupted with a snarl as her hand tightened around his throat.

"Fun? You're playing with her emotions because it's fun?"

Naruto showed no sign of pain as it tightened further around his throat, nor a sign of anger. Instead he crossed his arms a crossed his chest. "I am not playing with her emotions. I am trying to help her overcome her shyness."

This time she laughed bitterly. "How? By doing your best to get her hopes up and then dumping her once you've had your fun?" Her hand tightened even more, to a point where most academy students would be gasping for air. His face twitched as much as a rock's when a slight crack came from his neck.

She growled at him "Listen here and listen well. She's had a hard life, not as hard a life as the rumors say anymore but harder than any child, shinobi or otherwise, should ever go through. Her father once considered her a failure and even more the most he ever talked to her was over dinner, and even then no more than three words. 'Are you stronger?' The Hyuuga elders think she's a waste as a human and a clan member. The only ones that have ever shown her any kindness in her clan was the Branch house, but never the one that mattered. Her own cousin reminds her every day about how 'weak and pathetic' she is."

Kurenai pressed her student harder into the tree, making the trunk creak in protest. "I don't know what she sees in you, and I probably never will. I don't care that you're one of the Hokage's favorites but the moment that you take advantage of-"

Kurenai was suddenly thrown backwards, her back ringing painfully against a tree. This time a hand gripped her throat tightly as she stared into Naruto's face, and what she saw made the breath hitch in her throat.

Naruto's face was covered in elaborate tattoos, they glowed a dull gold-ish color. His eyes were different too. In his eyes glowed insurmountable rage, and even a hint of madness. But what really stood out to her was that there was a small swirl of the same color on his seals, it was like someone took a few drops of gold food coloring and dripped them into a pool of deep blue water. The color swirled around like his iris like a raging storm. That alone made her pause.

Naruto hissed angrily, the sound not unlike a gas pipe with a leak, sharp and explosive. "If you finish that sentence Hinata will be the least of your worries! If you finish it nobody will ever find your bones, not your blood or your clothes! It would be like you've never existed. If you want to know a hard life don't look at that girl, I know what she went though was bad. But does she have to live with the knowledge that the villagers she swore to protect with her life would like nothing more to rip out her heart? Has her father killed himself because the entire village, including the friends he saved the lives of, turned their backs on him and called him a traitor? Does she have to work to the point of exhaustion every single day just to improve what little skills she has? Has she been beaten, neglected and left to die by the people she thought of as parents? Or does she have to live with the guilt of a hundred deaths on her conscience? Or maybe a thousand? Does she?" Kurenai didn't say anything. "Does she?" Kurenai still didn't respond.

"ANSWER ME!"

The forest around them moaned eerily, as if the souls of the damned had returned to walk this world. The forest weaved back and forth as if in gale force winds, but not a whisper of air disturbed the clearing. The tree under Kurenai creaked and she felt herself crash into the trunk deeper, making splinters fly through the air. Despite the fact that she never felt the hand around her throat tightened she felt it constrict. She felt the air around her grow so heavy to the point it was as if she was buried alive. Her breathes came in short gasps, but the grip on her never got any tighter then how a mother would hold her newborn.

With her silence the insane look on Naruto's face was plastered with a predatory grin, one of rage and insane glee. But before he could act on his impulses his hands convulsed, and he withdrew them as if her skin burned him, leaving Kurenai to land on her rear painfully. It didn't stop there; Naruto's face got twisted with unimaginable pain, his mouth disappeared and his eyes became no more than slits.

As the tree behind Kurenai fell to the ground split in half, Naruto suddenly fell against a tree, one arm supporting him. Then all was silent, not a thing stirred, not even the animals made a noise. For over a minute this silence crept, then Naruto doubled over in a fit of loud, gut busting coughs. His hacking coughs cut through the air like an exe through wood. After five minutes Naruto fell still, and then he spat out a goblet of blood and straightened himself.

Naruto's face was smeared with blood, all of it coming from a fresh stream out of his nose. Naruto sniffed, and then wiped it with his hand. Using the same hand he reached into his weapons pouch and withdrew a wet rag. He dabbed it on his face, once it was suitably wet he wiped off the blood, then tossed the rag back in. Kurenai couldn't help but notice that the smear of blood that was once on his glove wasn't there anymore.

Naruto turned forebodingly to face his sensei. When Naruto spoke it was with a voice that matched his face. Once he spoke again in place of unknown rage was nothing, just a blank expression. No anger, hate, happiness nothing. It was filled with a bored tone with an undercurrent of annoyance, and a hint of an analytical outlook.

For some reason that, more than anything, scared her.

His mouth said one thing, but his mind said something else. "I'm sorry for that." _'I am not.' _"I don't know what came over me." _'You know, not what but who.' _"It will never happen again." _'Lies! She hasn't seen the last of me!' _"It was just that what you were going to say pissed me off greatly." _'You speak the truth for once, boy.'_ the voice in the back of his mind sneered at him.

"I don't mean to hurt her in anyway. She has flaws, as do us all, but a few of hers would mean death on the battlefield. I'm going to do my best to undo the damage that was done to her, but it will take time, and work. You would consider some, if not all, of my methods strange. But bear with me and you'll see results eventually."

Naruto paused for a moment. "This is completely unrelated, but I have to get a message to Shikaku." Naruto started to make a long series of hand seals.

"Shikaku? As in the Nara clan head?" Naruto nodded, held the last seal, and slammed his hand on the ground. A small smoke cloud popped into existence in front of Naruto, and once it cleared a small toad sat in the middle.

Kurenai gaped as her student spoke to it. "I need you to get a message to Shikaku Nara, tell him not to eat too much of the herb in a month. If he does he'll get a few side effects. I'll tell him later how much he should use in a given day." For a moment Naruto tilted his head to the side. "And while you're at it could you get to Jiraiya and tell him that I came up with a revolutionary seal yesterday? I'd love to see his face when he finds out. Please and thank you."

The toad nodded and hopped off to complete its master's requests. Kurenai could only sputter as it took off. Once she finally regained her composure she all but shrieked out. "When did you get the toad contract?"

_Flashback: _

"What are we going to learn today old man?" asked a nine-year old Naruto.

Sarutobi chuckled. "Well for starters-" CRASH! A large, spiky, white-haired man flew through the office window.

As he giggled, the man picked himself back up sloppily and walked back over to the busted window. Along the way he stumbled a little. He yelled out the window. "Nice arm you have Anko! I wonder if your mouth is as good!" The man chuckled as a roar tore through the window and ducked his head as a kunai sailed into the office.

The man turned around to face the pair, which let Naruto get a good look at him. He wore red face paint in the similar to the way Kabuki puppeteers did. His headband had a pair of small horn-like protrusions on each side and, instead of a village's symbol, was the kanji for oil. Despite all of that the most distinct thing about him was the perverted grin that seemed to be plastered on his face.

He stumbled back over to the pair. Once he stood in front of the desk he slurred out. "How are yoooou doing, sessei?' as if it upset his balance he almost fell face-down onto the paperwork covered desk.

Sarutobi sighed theatrically. "You've been drinking haven't you Jiraiya?" It was more of a statement then a question.

The man, Jiraiya, giggled again and nodded dumbly. "Yep! Me and Gaman… Gamananba… Gamamnamana… big toad guy had a party to celebrate his son's birthday! We drank so much sake that he… what did he do again? Oh yeah! He… did something. What was it?" Jiraiya raised an unsteady hand to his chin as if in deep thought. The simple movement seemed to unbalance him as he tipped far over to his left.

Within the span of a second Jiraiya was bent over in an amazing display of flexibility. His face was less than a foot away from the floor yet he didn't tip over despite his obvious state of drunkenness, his feet seemed to be glued to the floor beneath him. From his new vantage point he finally noticed Naruto. His lecherous grin got wider as he straightened out and turned to face his teacher once more. "Sensei you dog! Don't tell me! You finally found yourself a nice lady and had kids didn't you? And twins at that!

He mimicked squeezing something as he said. "Where is Miss Sarutobi and her boobs?" Normally he wouldn't be so blunt about it. Need anyone remind Hiruzen that his student was too wasted to care anymore?

Hiruzen's face remained stoic. "In order. I have had a son for many years, not to mention that I'm a grandfather so I don't need to worry about that. I am too old to have a child, and that boy over there is not my kid either. My wife has been dead for a few years now. I probably won't remarry, like I said I'm too old for that kind of commitment. Now is there any reason why you're here?"

"No! But I have a question!" Jiraiya thought for a very long, dull moment.

"OUT WITH IT!"

"Calm down gramps!" Another pause. "Why is that kid here?"

Hiruzen brightened instantly. "He is here because this boy is a genius. I have taught him millions of things for years now and he keeps coming back for more! His name is _Naruto_." He added emphasis on the name and Jiraiya suddenly looked much more sober.

"Naruto, this is Jiraiya of the Sannin." The blond boy looked the older man up and down for a while, taking in even the minutest of detail. Everything from the stink of liquor on his breath, the few tears in his shirt, and the sway of his arms, nothing escaped him at that time. He stared him in the face for a long moment, and then slowly worked his way down all the way to his sandaled feet and all the way back up again, as if fearing he missed something.

Once Naruto finished five minutes later he crossed his arms and said. "I'm not impressed."

Hiruzen enjoyed the dumbstruck expression on his student's face. "What? How could I, the great Jiraiya, fail to impress a little brat like you?"

Naruto adopted an analytical expression and examined the older man once again, as if looking for a certain quality only he could notice. Naruto nodded minutely, took a far off look and snapped his fingers. A pair of sunglasses appeared over his eyes in a puff of smoke, wisps of it clinging for but a moment as it was blown away by a non-existent breeze.

He seemed to have found what he was looking for as he opened his mouth. "I regret to inform you that to me, at the moment, you are but a man that's impressive in name only. I have never seen how you act in your day to day activities so I have no knowledge of the man behind the name, just of his skills and some other trivia. Until I see how you treat people in everything you do I will have a low opinion of you as a person. Your perversion and womanizing adventures are as famous as Tsunade's gambling and drinking addictions as well as Orochimaru's seemingly inherit creepiness in everything he does. I must admit as well that in your current state I can't help but deduct a few points." Naruto added in a deadpan voice when Jiraiya started to list again.

The toad sage straightened again. "Now, listen here, brat! I am Jiraiya the Toad Sannin! I have fought Salamander Hanzo to a standstill and have taught everything the Fourth Hokage knew as a genin! I am the most accomplished seal master in this village! The men fear me! The women adore me! I am the Toad Sage!"

To add emphasis Jiraiya, using dozens of years of experience, made a single seal and slammed his hand on the floor. But since he was so drunk he would have made Tsunade jealous he botched on the Chakra control part. So, instead of summoning a horse sized toad, he summoned a tadpole that fluttered about helplessly on the floor in a small puddle of water.

Jiraiya hung his head in embarrassment while Hiruzen laughed at his expense. Instead of joining in on the laughter at the amazingly pathetic display Naruto adjusted his glasses and said with feigned interest. "Did you say that you were a seal master? I happen to have a hobby in that field. Would it be possible for you to give me advice?"

Jiraiya's head snapped up, a triumphant grin plastered on his face. "So you finally realized how awesome I am? Well to bad! No advice for you!"

Naruto faked a disappointed look. "That's a shame I was looking forward to this. You may not want to give me advice but could I trouble for a demonstration on this new seal I came up with?"

Jiraiya laughed. "Fine, kid, I guess I have time to kill!" Naruto nodded and pulled a tag out of his bag. Once Jiraiya saw what was on it he grinned as a plan started to form in his drunken mind. He was drunk so much he was still seeing double and thus he thought what he was seeing was just a jumble of lines.

"This tag is made with the thought of immobilization in mind. Once activated it will render whoever it's placed on incapable of moving their lower body even an inch. I developed it for the interrogation unit."

Jiraiya laughed drunkenly once again. "How about we make it more interesting? If that thing there imobo- imo… does that then I will let you sign the toad contract. But if it doesn't then you'll have to call me 'Lord Jiraiya your Sexiness'!" He jumped onto a nearby chair and struck a dramatic pose. But it was ruined when, despite having decades of experience in war, Jiraiya was defeated by every drunk's mortal enemy.

The floor.

As Jiraiya picked himself up Naruto adjusted his sunglasses again. "Hmm… the toad contract? Famous, useful and above all- powerful. But how about we make this even more interesting? If the tag does immobilize you then in addition to the toad contract I get five favors. But if it doesn't then, along with your new title, you get five favors. What do you say?"

A malicious grin enveloped Jiraiya's face, "Deal." He might not have been able to convert Minato, but he'd have his revenge. Naruto would be peeking on hot springs in no time.

"Okay then, hold still while I put this on you." Naruto spread the small sheet of paper apart and stuck it on Jiraiya's stomach. He said. "This won't hurt a bit." Then he made a hand seal, which in turn activated the tag.

The air in the office suddenly turned cold, and in an instant a heavy sheet of ice formed over Jiraiya's entire body with a sharp snap, the sound similar to ice breaking rather than forming. The only thing that wasn't covered was his head, which stuttered out. "I th-thought t-that it was supposed to paralyze me?"

Naruto adjusted his glasses again and said with a smug smirk. "I never said what method I would use to make you immobile, all I said was that the tag would do it. There were several other ways I could have done it which are not limited to; a spike severing your spinal column, I could have sent pulses of electricity to counteract the nerves that send electrical messages to you muscles or I could have killed them with heat. But I digress, can you move at all?"

Jiraiya tried to move but the only things that weren't frozen was everything above his neck level. He rocked his head back and forth, but he only succeeded in falling onto his side. He sighed in defeat. "Okay kid you win. Let me out and I'll let you sign the contract."

Naruto made his way to the door. "No I don't think I will."

"What?"

Naruto turned to the frozen man and, while noticing a certain Hokage's absence, adjusted his glasses yet again. "You heard me. I won't let you go. You see Jiraiya, Anko happens to be a good friend of mine, and she's not the only one that's angry that you groped her. Not only that, but in exchange for helping her with catching you she's going to buy me ten pounds of apples. A fair exchange don't you think?"

A roar of renewed fury shook the tower. "It seems that Anko finally made it passed the ANBU. She should be here in thirty seconds, give or take a few." He ignored the now sweating Jiraiya and made for the door.

"You'll probably be at my house tomorrow morning won't you? Either to get revenge," he spat the word out, "or to have me sign the toad contract then." Another roar. "She's almost here. Don't worry; you're probably used to whatever she's going to do to you."

Naruto opened the door and paused for a moment "Until next time Jiraiya." Then he stepped out of the office and closed the door behind him.

Less than a minute later Naruto walked up to the double doors out of the Hokage tower, past a group of eight ANBU who were on the floor in various states, groaning in pain. Without even batting an eyelash he walked through the double doors. He walked away and towards his home, leaving behind the Hokage tower and a chorus of girlish screeches behind.

_End Flashback:_

Naruto shrugged. "It's not important. What is important is that you don't interfere with my activities. Whether it is with Kiba, the Hokage, or Hinata. I do everything for a reason whether it seems like it or not. Do you understand me?" His voice turned hard, while one of many demanded her blood.

Despite Naruto's earlier performance Kurenai couldn't help but snap back. "Why? What right do you have to order me around? I am a Jônin and you're a genin, not only that I _am _your sensei! If there's anyone around here who should be ordering anyone around it's going to be me!"

Naruto laughed bitterly and said in a tone full of mocking disrespect. "Because _sensei, _you may be older than me in body, stronger than me in society, and higher than me in title, but do you have the knowledge of half a thousand trained killers? Do you have a multitude of knowledge that should only come with millennia of life? Whether it is caring for a child, cooking or anything else you can think of I have intimate knowledge of it all!"

Naruto's voice became heated, and not even a breath into it he began yelling. "There is nothing you can teach me! Nothing at all! You are sensei in name only! Because of what I can do, because of what I am, you will have no effect on my life, my career or anything else! I know you held back yesterday, or else the other two wouldn't have lasted more than five seconds. But to tell you the truth even if you came at me all out the two of us would be closely matched."

Naruto took a calming breath as Kurenai scoffed. "There's no may you're as strong as me."

Naruto gave her a hard look. "There's only one way to find that out isn't there?"

At that moment Kurenai's instincts screamed at her to get away, to beg forgiveness, to do something, anything to calm him down. The familiar pressure on her chest returned, but it faded away once Naruto continued to speak. "That will be a discussion for another day _sensei._" He practically spat the word out. "Until then all I want to know is if you'll stay out of my plans for Hinata."

"Is there any reason I should?"

"Yes there is. Other then everything I've already said I have breathed, walked, fought, bleed and died for more then you ever will." Kurenai moved to speak. "I know what you're thinking, 'What does that mean?' After today I don't think I ever will tell you what it means, even if this didn't happen you probably would never find out. In my twelve years of life only three people know what that means to me, and I don't plan on that number getting any bigger anytime soon."

"But if that doesn't mean anything to you this will." Naruto took a single step forward, sensei and student stared each other right in the eye. "I am the reason why Hinata doesn't have _any _problems with her father anymore. I have done more for that girl in two years than you have done in your whole time you've been her confidant."

Just like that Kurenai became speechless. Try as she might she couldn't stay angry at him anymore. She felt an unfamiliar feeling form in her stomach.

"Like I said before, I will do my best to fix the damage that has been done to her, but it will take time, time that would be wasted if you interfered." Naruto retreated a step and turned around.

"In time she will become everything you want her to be. She will be strong, caring, and courageous. Spin it whatever way you want but remember, she's not the only one that needs this."

Naruto started walking away. "We never had this conversation."

**And since we broke 100 reviews.**

**OMAKE!**  
**Naruto's number one selling book.**

Hiruzen stared at the nine-year old boy sitting in front of him. After a few minutes the Hokage asked with disbelief dripping from his voice. "You what?"

"I told you old man. I want to publish a book. But I need a license to do so. I want to spread my ideas."

Hiruzen blinked. "This is a surprise Naruto. Not unexpected but a surprise, tell me what is this book about?"

Naruto gave him a serious look, "Pokémon."

Hiruzen blinked again, "Pokémon?" He questioned.

"Pokémon," Naruto concurred.

"And pray tell, what is this book going to involve?"

Naruto pulled something out of his weapons pouch. "How about instead of telling you I show you." The boy tossed something at the aged man, who caught it easily.

The old man had a mask of fear etched on his face when he saw the title, 'How to make Pokémon'. The boy in front of him was a genius so it was obvious the man was concerned that he had another Orochimaru in front of him.

"Naruto…" Said boy nodded.

"Did you kidnap people and experiment on them?" Orochimaru was infamous for his inhumane experiments. Who's to say someone couldn't do the same involving children's cartoons?

Naruto just gazed at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "No old man I didn't steal people away and experiment on them. If you think I am then you're going senile."

OoOoOoOo

Somewhere, a one-armed man snezzed.

"Are you okay master Danzo?" The man just gave the nine-year old boy that sat in front of him a blank look.

"Of course I am okay little one." _'What was his name again? …I'll just call him Sai.' _

"HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT?" The crippled war-hawk pointed in a random direction using his cane.

The pale boy just raised an eyebrow, amazingly, and turned to look. "What is what master Danzo?"

Said old man just shook his head, as if to clear it out "Nothing, nothing at all… what was your name again?"

OoOoOoOo

Hiruzen sighed in relief. "Sorry about that Naruto but I'm just a little concerned is all." He noticed the look was giving him; it was obvious that he wanted him to read the book already. He opened to the first page and his concern was immediately settled when he read the first entry.

A smile tugged at his lips as he read out loud.

"How to make a Charmander."

"Step one; get a giant lizard."

"Step two; paint it red."

"Step three; light its tail on fire."

Hiruzen lifted his head to look Naruto right in the face. "I was just bored is all old man."

"Bored enough to make Pokémon?"

"Bored enough to screw around."

The old man ducked his head back down to read the next ones. Hiruzen could only smile as he read out loud once more.

"How to make a Squirtle."

"Step one; get a turtle."

"Step two; paint it blue."

Then the Hokage's face was covered in a mask of confusion "Step three; …shove a hose up its ass?" Hiruzen once again stared Naruto right in the eye, the question evident in his.

"Yes! Just imagine it!" Naruto stood up and pointed at an imaginary enemy in an exaggerated fashion "Squirtle water gun! Then it vomits out a never ending stream of high-pressured water. Anyway just read the next one old man."

"How to make a Pikachu?"

"Step one; find a mouse."

"Step two; feed it steroids?"

"Step three; once at correct size paint it yellow."

"Step four; once paint dries paint on little red spots on its cheeks."

"Step five; once paint dries hit it with a lightning jutsu." The aged kage raised his eyebrow at the next line.

"Or if you prefer just hook it up to a car battery." He once again raised his head and stared Naruto right in the eye.

"… What the hell is a car battery?"

**And since this chapter took a while to get out…**

**OMAKE!**  
**Why Naruto doesn't believe in macaroni and cheese.**

Naruto was sitting at his table eating dinner one day, when he suddenly lifted his plate of Jell-O to his forehead. "Naruto… what the hell are you doing?" The boy glanced at Hiruzen, who he invited to dinner.

"I am communing with the great lord Jell. Now silence! He demands my full attention!" Naruto closed his eyes and pressed the plate to his forehead. Once he was done five minutes later he stared at his side of macaroni for what seemed to the old man a long time.

"Um Naruto… is there something on your mind?" The boy just lifted a finger to silence the Hokage.

After a moment's silence he said. "The great lord Jell told me that 'the macaroni and cheese is a lie'. I am contemplating what he said." After another five minutes Naruto's eyes suddenly grew wide in horror as he tipped over his chair in haste to put distance himself between him and the table.

"Naruto what's wrong?"

The boy replied in a frantic fear stricken voice. "It's true! The macaroni is a lie! It's not there anymore!"

The Hokage's eyes widened as well as he put his hands together in the symbol to dispel any genjutsu. But when nothing happened the old man just sighed and called out to Naruto, who was rocking back and forth in a corner muttering something about how he needs to be redeemed. "Sometimes I worry about you Naruto."

**A.N **

**Since someone brought up the idea I shall propose it to all who read this. If anyone has an idea for an OMAKE please send me your idea in any form of communication. PM, review I don't care which, but I'd prefer a review… please?**

**On a side note I was very pleased by the review turnout of last chapter. I REALLY want the same this time.** **The best way to get the idea on where your stories stand is to get a mass of comments on what you did right, what you need to improve on, and suggestions.**

**Until next time; read, cry, live, love, watch, and prosper.**


	8. The Reasons Why

**Chapter Eight; The Reasons Why**

**I apologize for the delay, events are moving swiftly indeed.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned- you know what? I'm not doing this anymore.**

Once out of hearing distance, Naruto lost the calm, empty look on his face.

He stormed away, animals fleeing at the sound of his footsteps.

_'Calm down,' _Naruto told himself, _'Just calm down, don't get angry. Anger never solves anything, it just makes everything worse.'_ Nevertheless, he continued thundering through the brush until he reached a small clearing.

Sparse light filtered down through the canopy, illuminating the leaf-covered ground. Trees waved as a wind blew warm welcome.

Silence greeted Naruto as well, every animal within half a mile range having run off moments ago.

They knew his energy well, having felt it six years ago. They feared it ever since.

Naruto paced back and forth furiously, breathing deeply through his nose. Waiting for that burning feeling to subside, he felt ashamed.

Few things could make him angry, he worked night and day to make sure of that. Every once in a while though, a small thing, a minor slight, an odd look thrown at him, a simple breath or nothing at all, would set him off.

He paused, snorting air like an enraged bull, nostrils flaring as he glared at nothing in particular. Naruto's eyes eventually settled on the lone tree towering in the center of the clearing. A mighty pine, it towered well over a hundred feet, grown from luscious Fire Country soil. On the side facing Naruto, its bottom rows of branches had been cut off, forming the ideal picnic spot for star crossed lovers.

Roaring, wordless and berserk, Naruto punched and punched and punched it.

Bark reduced to dust under his fists, leaving behind blood smeared wood.

It usually took him mere moments to calm down, not long enough for most people to notice his sudden change in mood. The few that did always chalked the horrible glint in his eye as a trick of the light. Occasionally though, he'd get stuck in a frenzied fog for longer.

Naruto paused, chest heaving, shoulders quivering, knuckles streaming blood.

One time, he got stuck for nearly an hour.

Naruto raised his right fist abruptly, unknowingly flinging drops of blood around.

Luckily, it happened on his first and unsupervised trip out of Konoha, so no innocents got caught in the crossfire. But while under the fog, he somehow found his way to a large gang hideout.

His fist shot at the tree like a piston, faster than the untrained eye could see.

Only Naruto left the building that night, silent and covered in blood.

It had been a pain to get out of his underwear.

The pine toppled over, groaning in agony and hitting the ground with a mighty crash.

Naruto's nostrils flared again, the uneven light casting a frightening shadow across his face. His chest and shoulders heaved and shook as he raised a clawed hand, pulling it down across his face. His breaths came in ragged gasps as he worked to calm himself down.

Taking deep, calm breaths, Naruto walked around the new, splintered stump and plopped down on the fallen tree, ignoring the sharp pain in his rear and the things poking it. Closing his eyes, willing himself in a meditative trance, Naruto took slow breaths and waited...

The burning feeling died out.

And waited...

The blood on his knuckles dried, turning into a flaky, crimson crust.

And waited...

Eventually, he opened his eyes. They darted around the clearing. Swiftly scanning for any unwelcome visitors, they settled on a jet black cloak hanging from a large branch.

_'Now, how did that get there?' _Naruto asked himself.

Naruto stood slowly, not moving his head but flickering his eyes around for any odd shadows. For a moment, he thought he spotted a figure out of the corner of his eye, but when he focused on it he saw nothing but trees. Finished, he turned his eyes back to the cloak.

Naruto slowly approached it, his feet crunching leaves as he went. He scrunched his face up slightly, putting on a confused facade, better not let any people watching him know his suspicions.

Stopping a few feet away, he searched the area around the cloak for red flags, his eyes the only thing moving yet again.

Finding nothing, he scanned the tree line again. He made it obvious by craning his neck and turning his head and body. Naruto flicked his eyes around, hoping to see a figure tense up as his head turn in its direction, or relax as it turned away.

Again, nothing.

Naruto snapped his head back to the cloak. Reaching down, he scooped up a long stick and prodded it.

The cloak growled at him, sounding like a feral dog, then barked loudly.

Naruto blinked, confused. A moment later they lit up.

Tossing the stick to the side, he said casually, "Nice to see you again."

A series of barks.

"I have no idea what you just said." Naruto muttered, briefly entertaining himself by imagining the thoughts random passerby would have if they saw him talking to a barking cloak, "Just write it do-"

Silence, then, "Fuck! I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" Naruto yelled, waving his arms around for emphasis.

Emphasis!

Questioning whimper.

"I'll tell you later," Naruto retorted, shaking his head slowly, "Just turn back and let's go, I have a class to attend."

Short, loud bark.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked, flabbergasted, "Seriously, I can't understand anything you're saying!"

Whimper, then a bark.

Naruto sighed, "I'm just guessing here, but... you're a cloak because you want me to wear you?"

Satisfied bark.

Naruto briefly patted himself on the back for his wonderful use of his championship skills in charades.

"That's just-" Naruto paused, a thoughtful look gracing his face, "...that actually may be a good idea." he corrected, thinking it through.

Smug noise.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto grumbled, snatching the cloak up, "You're a genius, I owe you, you're amazing, other standard compliments." He took off his current cloak, stuffing it in his weapons pouch, then put the new one on. If he wore the cowled, black hood, it would cover his whole body down to his ankles.

Naruto set off, but paused, "You know what?" he asked, "I didn't know you could turn into a cloak."

Katashiru, the jet black cloak, growled.

0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, back at the training ground, Kiba tried his best to impress Hinata.

"I help my sister a lot at the vet office." Kiba bragged, puffing his chest out, "She has a lot a trouble keeping up because of her... handicap..." he shifted a little, "People come in all day to get their pets fixed up."

Akamaru, perched on top of Kiba's head, growled.

Kiba gulped, patting the little dog, "You're not a pet buddy. You should know that most dog, ones that aren't Inuzuka, are dumb as a..." he trailed off, trying to find the right word.

"...tree?"

Hinata suppressed a sigh.

Kiba shrugged, "Anyway! I remember this one cat who kept on going all over the place, howling. Somehow, he kept getting out of his cage, and we'd always found him trying to play with the other cats." he proclaimed innocently.

Hinata didn't know what to say.

Kiba continued, oblivious to her discomfort, "It got so bad, my sister moved up his operation. He got really quiet after-wards, no more yowling or peeing all over the place. Hana said she fixed him, but he never looked broke to me."

Hinata blinked.

And so Kiba continued on, yapping away on various topics while Hinata tried her best to listen politely.

Several minutes later, the bushes rustled. Kurenai stepped out, her face and body language betraying nothing.

"-and then I hit him over the head with a shovel!" Kiba yelled, making a thwacking motion with his hands, "He never messed with me after that! The stupid, short, fat, dress wearing ambassador!"

Hinata pleaded with her sensei, eyes wide and round.

Kurenai suppressed a sigh. Clearing her throat, she made Kiba jump.

"Holy shit!" he yelled, whirling to his side, "Where did you come from?"

"Language, Kiba." Kurenai replied dryly.

Kiba blinked, "Language?" he asked.

"Wh-where's Naruto?" Hinata asked, ducking into her coat when Kurenai turned back to her.

On the outside, Kurenai smiled sweetly.

On the inside, she screamed angrily.

"He had to go home early." Kurenai answered, not really caring where he went, "Something really important came, he might not be back for the rest of the week."

Hinata had studied body language extensively, noticing the slight tension in Kurenai's body language.

She didn't press the issue.

"I'll talk to him later," Kurenai promised, "but for now, what do you two know about genjutsu?"

0o0o0o0o0

Leaves crumbled underneath Naruto as he walked by a stream. Pausing, he looked at the blood on his knuckles. Thinking about unwanted questions, he knelt down and ducked his hand into the cool liquid.

It didn't take long for his hands to come back out, clean and glistening from their recent bath. His busted knuckles had been healed on the way over, so no more blood spilled from them. He stood back up, turning back in the direction he'd been walking, and continued on.

Projecting his thoughts, he told Katashiru, _'It's been pretty annoying not being able to understand you, so I'm going to solve that. This is the letter A.' _he formed the character in his mind, _'Learn it.'_

After that, silence.

It didn't take long for Naruto to get back to the training ground. His footsteps grew more and more silent as he went as his mind wandered, forgetting to use force as he walked. When he made it back, his mind snapped back to the present. No-one heard his approach, silent as a shadow, so he took the moment to observe.

Kiba stood midway up a tree, jutting out sideways as Kurenai told him something about his chakra control being pretty good. Hinata stood some feet away, going through several hand-signs repeatedly, something in her face telling Naruto that she had her mind occupied with something else.

Naruto stepped out of the brush silently, saying loudly, "I'm back!"

Kiba fell to the ground in shock, "Fuck!" Naruto somehow finding himself mildly impressed, Hinata stopped her hand-sign spamming, and Kurenai gave him a cool look.

"Where did you come from? I thought you had something important come up and went home!" Kiba yelled, rubbing the back of his head tenderly and wincing.

Naruto shrugged, gaze flickering to Kurenai and back, he decided to roll with it, "It was a false alarm, so I came back. What have you been doing since I've been gone?"

"Practicing, duh!" Kiba replied, jumping to his feet, "Unlike you, we actually try to get better."

Naruto pressed a hand to his chest, making a pained noise, "I'm hurt that you would say such a thing! I'll have you know, training is just one of many things that take up my time."

Kiba snorted, "Sure, I bet you couldn't fight your way out of an empty hallway!"

Naruto made a thoughtful noise, "How much you want to bet?"

"Kiba," Kurenai interrupted, "We were training."

Kiba ignored her, "I don't know, something?"

"I said 'how much'." Naruto corrected him, "How about this; if I win, you'll owe me four favors, if I lose, I'll owe you four favors. Deal?"

"Deal!" Kiba yelled, taking up a stance.

Kurenai sighed, shaking her head, "I was going to teach you a few genjutsu, but it seems you two would rather beat each others brains out. Have fun." With that, she walked over to Hinata.

Naruto settled into a loose stance, letting a few of his training seals turn off. Kiba yelled, "I'm going to kick your ass!"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "Really, Kiba?"

"Yeah! This will be over in a second." Kiba charged at Naruto, not noticing his little companion had jumped off the top of his head long before the fight started.

He swung at Naruto's head, who ducked and planted a firm right hook in Kiba's gut.

He doubled over, grasping his belly and fighting for breath. Naruto took a few steps back, putting distance between him and his opponent. Kiba straightened up shortly after, growling and giving Naruto an angry look, before charging again.

Naruto sighed mentally, dodging a slash to his side and blocking a punch aimed at his throat. He twisted his wrist, getting a firm grip on Kiba's arm, and whirled Kiba around before throwing him a distance away.

Kiba got up, shook it off and charged again.

This time Naruto sighed out loud, "What are you?" he asked, "A one trick pony?"

"This one trick pony is about to kick your ass!"

Naruto didn't even bother trying to block, dodging left, right, jumping over a swerve kick and basically getting Kiba angrier and angrier.

"Just. Stand. Still!"

"Now, why would I do that?" Naruto asked, step-siding another slash, "I like not having bruises all over my body, thank you very much. They hurt really bad."

"Grhhh! Akamaru, get over here!" Kiba yelled, punching at Naruto for emphasis, who avoided it.

"Arf!"

"What do you mean 'it's my fight'!" Kiba yelled, pausing and looking at his partner, who lounged under a shady tree.

"Arf!"

"But that's not fair!" Naruto, taking advantage of the situation, threw off his cloak, which somehow fluttered over into the woods despite the lack of wind.

"Woof!"

"Fine! Lazy little-" Kiba ducked a roundhouse punch, Naruto following up with a sweeping kick aimed at his legs. Kiba jumped away to avoid it, Naruto following suit shortly after.

"You know what?" Kiba asked, dropping to all fours.

"You forfeit?" Naruto asked, taking a few steps to his left.

"Fang over Fang!"

Naruto, watching the approaching tornado with as much apathy as he would regarding a cold mug of coffee, made a thoughtful noise.

"Now that's just rude." Naruto said to himself, stroking and imaginary beard, "Rude, but not against the rules. After all, we agreed to have a fight, but did I put any limitations or restrictions on what we-"

The tornado collided with him, ripping him to shreds and scattering them all around the clearing.

Kiba then collided head first into the tree Naruto had been standing in front of.

"Naruto!" Hinata yelled.

"Ow, my head!" Kiba screamed, flopping back to the ground.

"This would look bad on my resume if he did actually die." Kurenai muttered, completely unconcerned.

"Wh-what?" Hinata asked shakily.

"Just watch." Kurenai said, nodding her head over to Kiba.

"Ow, my head." said boy muttered, staggering to his feet.

"Dynamic Entry! Death From Above!" a loud, familiar voice yelled, dropping from a nearby tree and landing on Kiba's back.

"OW! My back!" Kiba screamed, voice muffled by the dirt making its way into his mouth.

Crouched on Kiba's back, Naruto cocked his head to the side, "Why are you whining, princess?"

Kiba lifted his head off the ground, "I'd love to see you hit a tree face first, then have some fat nerd land on your back and laugh it off!"

"I'm not fat!" Naruto huffed indigently.

"Fine!" Kiba screeched, "Pleasantly plump!"

"Better, but still not it." Naruto said whimsically, taking a scroll out and jotting something down.

"Can you get off me?" Kiba growled, craning his neck as much as he could to eye Naruto, "I'm starting to have trouble breathing because a huge nerd is on my back!"

"I resent that remark." Naruto said apathetically, nonetheless, he tucked the scroll away and rolled off Kiba's back, on his feet in a heartbeat.

Kiba jumped up and tried to throw an uppercut, key word 'tried'.

Not a second later he was back on the ground, muttering, "Ow, my back."

Naruto shook his head, making a disappointed noise, "Kiba, Kiba, Kiba, I already won, in case you didn't notice."

Kiba growled, wincing, "Bull-crap! I tore you apart with my Fang over F-" he cut off, eyes widening when he realized what he almost did.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "Then how am I still standing here?" he asked, "What you really tore up was my good friend, Katashiru." he added, pointing to a snow white cat, that lounged around, cleaning itself.

"But, as you can see, he got better." Naruto said loudly, so the stunned Kiba heard him, "And remember, you now owe me four favors."

Kiba nodded numbly.

Naruto grabbed his arm, helping him up, "Work on your temper, and your speed. You have good form and strong attacks, but should work on your accuracy."

Kiba nodded numbly, mumbling, "Thanks."

Naruto nodded to the cat. Jumping at him, it turned into a cloak in midair. Naruto snatched out of the air, fluidly tying it back around his neck.

Despite herself, Kurenai couldn't help but feel impressed, _'Maybe I co-'_

The loud, piercing sound of creaking wheels interrupted her thoughts.

"What's this?" a playful voice asked, "Did my little brother already get his ass kicked?"

"Kiba whirled around, "Shut up sis!"

The girl chuckled chuckled, "I'll shut up when you stop being so easy to rile up, let a woman have a little fun would you?"

Kiba muttered something very unflattering.

"Sorry, what was that?" the girl asked, cupping a hand around her ear, "So, are you going to introduce me to your team?"

Kiba mumbled something, then said much louder, "Over there is Hinata, the girl with the black hair, and Kurenai-sensei." he pointed to both, "And this is Naruto. Everybody, this is my sister."

"You can't expect them to call me sister all the time Kiba," Kiba's sister said cheekily, "Aren't you going to tell them my name?"

Kiba muttered something.

"Fine, I'll tell them myself." she turned to Naruto, Kurenai, and Hinata, "My name is Hana, and I'm Kiba's older sister. I know all his dirty little secrets, want to know where he keeps his diary?"

Nobody saw Naruto's eyes darken.

"Sis!" Kiba yelled, jumping at her and trying to muffle her.

She threw him over her shoulder.

"Ow, my head and back..."

"It's nice to meet you all." Hana smiled. She had the traditional Inuzuka, fang-like tattoos on both cheeks. She wore a beige, Konoha medic outfit, and a pair of black shorts showing her legs. She had a more defining feature though.

She sat in a wheelchair. Her legs looked undeniably weaker than the rest of her body, thin, limp and lacking muscle.

"H-hello." Hinata greeted timidly.

"So you're Kiba's sister?" Kurenai asked, holding out a hand, "We've heard a lot about you."

"Nice to meet you." Naruto remarked neutrally.

"Good! Now that the meet and greet is over, get out of here!" Kiba yelled.

Naruto felt something odd in the air.

"Aw!" Hana cooed, tilting her head, "Can't a girl check up on her brother's team?"

Kiba looked down, muttering something only Naruto heard, "No."

_'Was that sadness I heard?' _Naruto thought, _'Even after all these years...'_

"Where's the Haimaru bros?" Kiba asked, looking back up, "Hanging around the house again?"

"Yep." Hana snorted, "I can't believe how lazy they've got in the past years, all they do is lounge around now."

"Oh!" Kurenai exclaimed, taking a peek at her watch, "It was nice to meet you, Hana, but I have to get going. Team dismissed, meet back here tomorrow morning, same time."

"Nice meeting you too, Kurenai." Hana replied, "If Kiba ever-"

Naruto didn't hear what she said after that, he didn't bother to stick around.

0o0o0o0o0

_'Kiba looked so sad.'_ Naruto pondered as he walked back to his house, hair hiding his eyes, _'His sister, crippled in the Konohan Fire... I didn't remember until today.' _

Raising his head, he stepped into a large clearing, shielding his eyes from the sun's sudden glare.

He waited for his eyes to adjust, then let his arm fall to his side. He saw his apartment complex, the broken trees that surrounded it that morning had disappeared. His clones worked fast. He made the long trek back to his house, taking note of the silent forest.

For years he walked around his forest, insect calls and singing birds following him wherever he went. If he had strained his ears, he would hear a babbling creek, maybe even a larger animal every once in a while.

Now the forest had more similarities with a dead valley, Naruto heard nothing. Already the fertile, moist topsoil that, up until last night, fed the trees, turned dry and flaky. If he didn't know any better, Naruto would have thought life never existed in this corner of the Konohan Forest.

He felt lonely.

Naruto finally made it to the door. He opened it, pausing as he came to a conclusion. _'No matter how long it takes, I will make it up to Kiba. I just hope that he never finds out.'_

The door slammed shut behind him, echoing the dead forest.

_One Month Later:_

Naruto yawned, pulling the covers over his head to block out the sun's rays. He tried to catch a few more minutes of sleep, but a near silent whining noise had him jump out of bed, grab a Katana laying on the table by his bed, and sneak to the window.

Looking out, he scanned the recently cleared grounds surrounding his home. Seeing nothing, he sent a message to Katashiru asking him if he found anything.

In response, he got a bunch of fragmented words, _'Intruder, living room, caught.'_

In a month's time, Naruto managed to teach Katashiru the entire alphabet. A remarkably quick learner, the shape-shifter quickly moved on from letters, to words. Granted, he still made animal noises if he tried to talk, so Naruto had to basically read what he wanted to communicate.

It still beat doing charades all the damn time.

_'Hold him there, I'll be down in a second.' _Naruto replied, jumping out the open window, grabbing the windowsill and swinging himself through the closed window directly below him.

Rolling to minimize the impact, and to help keep broken glass out of his feet, Naruto leaped back up. He swung the Katana, stopping short of lopping the intruder's head and holding it just a hair's breadth away from his neck.

Naruto had been worried when the intruder alarm went off. He had thousands of traps lining his property. Show traps along the treeline to discourage the curious and the odd drunk civilian, non-lethal traps further in to take care of people who either didn't notice the earlier traps, or those too foolish to care, traps just past the door that left the victim in an enclosed, nigh inescapable room for Naruto to deal with later, and hundreds of lethal traps farther in to eliminate those skilled enough to avoid all the other traps up until that point.

He had all programmed to specifically ignore his own unique chakra signature, so he rarely ever had to turn the things off.

Jiraiya called him paranoid, Naruto didn't mind.

So, if someone managed to avoid all his traps and make it into his living room, they had to be incredibly skilled, or lucky, maybe both.

Naruto growled angrily, glaring at the trapped man, "How many times do I have to tell you; tell me when you're going to visit and don't break into my house!"

Jiraiya couldn't shrug, so he settled for saying, "I don't know, but you should call this thing off before I get bored."

Katashiru had turned into an octopus, wrapping around Jiraiya and rendering him immobile.

Naruto grunted, throwing his Katana onto the nearby table, "I don't know, maybe if you promise to buy me a new window I will."

He turned around and left the living room, walking back up the stairs one at a time.

"Wait, where the hell are you going?" Jiraiya yelled at his retreating form.

"My room." Naruto called back, "I'm going to change out of my pajamas if you don't mind."

"No, no. I'll just stay here. You know, with a giant tentacle monster feeling me up?"

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you!" Naruto called back.

_'Can I kill?'_ Katashiru asked.

_'Maybe later.'_

0o0o0o0o0

"So," Jiraiya started, watching Naruto plop down on the couch.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" Naruto asked innocently, producing a glass of water out of thin air.

Jiraiya snorted, "I know what you did to that couch, and I don't want to get a kunai in the ass."

Naruto grumbled, a moment later he said, "There, I turned off all the traps on the inside of the house."

"Of course you did." Jiraiya retorted, looking around the room suspiciously.

"What? You don't trust me?" Naruto asked, widening his eyes innocently.

"Never have, never will."

"I'm wounded, Old Perv." Naruto sighed, laying a hand against his chest, "I truly am."

Jiraiya grunted, plopping down on the blue comfy chair behind him, "I get the feeling you're already tired of the small talk."

"You know me well." Naruto admitted, shrugging slightly and taking a sip, "And I get the feeling you want me to tell you about the 'new' seal I came up with."

Jiraiya nodded, "Naturally."

"The thing is though," Naruto remarked, setting the glass down, "It's not a new seal, it's just the seal you helped me make last time you were here." he paused, "It actually had an... unexpected side effect."

Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow, leaning back, "Oh?"

Naruto nodded at the German Shepard prowling around the living room, "You've meet Katashiru."

"That's what you mean?" queried Jiraiya, leaning forward and examining the dog as it trotted around, "What happened?"

"According to the Old Man... the seal worked as predicted at first, you know, bringing all the paper to life and making it attack him?" Jiraiya nodded, prompting Naruto to continue, "From what I've heard from his account, the more paper affected by it the smarter it gets. A stack of a hundred papers will be smarter than a stack of three papers. And apparently, any paper affected can meld together to form a single shape-shifting organism." 

Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully, "So, we basically created intelligent life?"

"Yep." Naruto concurred articulately, snatching up the glass and taking another sip, "So nothing major."

Jiraiya grunted, shaking his head, "What's stopping this from happening again?"

"Nothing."

Katashiru looked in their direction sharply.

"So, it's just going to happen again and again until Hiruzen goes insane or fireballs his desk?" Jiraiya asked eagerly.

The dog's eyes narrowed.

"Of course."

"... much better than what we had planned."

"That's something we can agree on." Naruto said dryly, "But the thing is, Kata can't talk. You think there's anyway to fix that?"

Jiraiya thought for a moment, "I'll work on it while you're away."

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah." Jiraiya commented off-handedly, not noticing Katashiru's absence, "I stopped by Sarutobi's office. He told me an escort mission to Wave came in last night."

That made Naruto pause, he set the glass back down, "I hope he's holding it for me."

Jiraiya nodded, "Of course he is. Hopefully this time you'll get lucky and find a lead."

Naruto nodded absently, "How am I going to get my info this time? Another dead-drop or a face to face meeting?"

"Face to face." Jiraiya replied, "We can't risk Gato's men finding the dead-drop, Specter agreed to meet you at the Tavern in the town just a mile from the client's house."

"Good, will Kakashi be able to make it?" Naruto asked, already making a plan.

"No," Jiraiya replied, standing up to stretch his legs, "he has a team now. He doesn't have the time anymore."

Naruto grunted, "I'd prefer to have someone watching my back, you think Specter will be willing to help?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "You know what I can and can't do. No Konoha ninja can get involved, we're spread too thin as it is. And besides, combat and assassination isn't part of Specter's job, so I can't order him too help you. If you want his help, he's going to have to agree to it."

Naruto nodded to himself, "Just the same, I think I've improved enough that I can tackle this on my own."

"You can never be too sure." Jiraiya warned, looking around the room, "All it takes is one mistake, and that's it. I still can't believe Sarutobi lets you do this."

Naruto grinned, standing up, "He knows that I'd do it with or without his approval. Not letting me would end it in one of three ways, I'd end up as a missing nin, thrown in prison, or dead."

Jiraiya closed his eyes, "...Just be careful. I don't have to time to help you out anymore, something's come up and Sarutobi and I are stuck getting ready for it."

Naruto gave him a look, "What? Something to do with your old teammate or those guys in the black cloaks?"

Jiraiya grinned, leaning against the wall, "I can't tell you anything besides this." he leaned forward casually, smiling widely, "This year's Chunin Exam is going to be much more interesting."

**Omake:** **How Naruto gets a few days of work off.**

Naruto sat on the hallway floor, a rag in one hand and a deadly looking Katana in the other. He methodically wiped the surface of the blade, never changing pace, and never lifting his gaze from the door in front of him.

He stared at it, his eyes holding a far away look about them. Not once did he blink. Then suddenly, the door creaked open and in stepped a figure.

"Why is it so dark?" Asked a familiar voice. The light snapped on an instant later, but yet again Naruto didn't even blink at the sudden blinding sensation, as if nothing could affect him.

The figure jumped in shock. "Oh god, Naruto, I didn't see you there!" She took a breath as she put her hand against her chest. "You almost gave me a heart attack. Well anyway, we've been searching everywhere for you. It's time for another mission."

Naruto stared at her for a few uncomfortable moments, his gaze never wavered, and his blank expression never changed. Then he said in a monotone, "... I'm sorry sensei. I can not go to work today." Then he raised the sword to eye level, appraised it for a few seconds, taking in how it reflected the light and how it curved ever so slightly, then put it back into his weapons pouch and pulled another weapon from the massive pile next to him, this one a naginata.

Kurenai raised an eyebrow. "Why can't you work today? Is it some sort of holiday?"

Naruto said in the same monotone voice, all the while shaking his head. "No... it is no holiday today. The voices are telling me to stay home and clean the weapons..."

Kurenai gave him a blank look, slowly edging backwards to the door. "Okay then... I'll tell the Hokage that. I'll see you tomorrow, next week, year whatever." Naruto blinked slowly. "And you'll probably see a Yamanaka sometime soon Naruto." She was almost hysteric nearing the end.

"I hope you feel better!" The door slammed shut behind her as frantic footsteps slowly faded away.

Naruto went back to cleaning his naginata. A few minutes later he raised the weapon up and looked at its gleam, then went back to polishing it. Moments later he sighed whimsically, "It's funny because it's true."

**If anyone reading this haven't read chapters 1 through 5 in a while, I'd suggest going back and reading them if you have the time. They've been edited, some things have been changed dramatically, like the council meeting in chapters four and five. There's a little more foreshadowing, and more than a few new attempts at humor.**

**Please read and review, tell me what you felt about this chapter.**


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